Author Topic: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2  (Read 26905 times)

jenna appleseed

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #60 on: December 19, 2019, 08:33:00 PM »
Did you know that if you dry out some mistletoe in a microwave then grind it into a fine powder then add it to some wine, the resulting chemical reaction creates a powerful hallucinogenic.


Apparently before the record company made him change it, the chorus originally went...

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
These lobsters are singing auld lang syne
My legs are on fire and so is the tree
Biggins is satan and he's coming for me

eta: new page Cliffy cunt

wosl

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #61 on: December 20, 2019, 02:41:38 PM »
.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2019, 06:04:36 PM by wosl »

Fisher Goes Berserk

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #62 on: December 20, 2019, 04:09:23 PM »
those sonic mouse repellant plug in things are next to useless, unless it turned out I had particularly avant garde mice who invited all their mates round to listen to the new way out challenging sounds from DJ non capisco, in which case that would have been they only time I've been ahead of the musical curve in my life, like a mouse's John Peel.

Extremely cute image.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #63 on: December 20, 2019, 06:21:56 PM »

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #64 on: December 20, 2019, 08:14:05 PM »
Good. Having stuff you love from your childhood #cancelled is all part of growing up.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #65 on: December 21, 2019, 04:22:49 PM »
I saw father christmas once, back in primary school. It was after christmas, in january, and he burst into the classroom looking rattled, colour drained from his face, and he pointed at a boy in the class and wailed "That child has foretold my death!". We were going to ask when it was, for logistical reasons, but off he scampered. Each holiday season we'd ask the boy what he'd seen; he always answered with nothing but a mischievous smile. How did he know? Could it have happened already, that great fat body decomposing in the august sun, liquefying and filling his sleigh like a bowl of trifle, inevitably to be sloshed down the first steep-gabled roof come yuletide eve? We'll have to wait and see. No use crying over spilt milk, everything happens for a reason. God bless.

I bloody love Pijlstaart's nonsense generally but this one, especially the highlighted bits, had me helpless for a good few minutes.

ZoyzaSorris

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #66 on: December 21, 2019, 08:18:05 PM »
Woah. Episode 3 has Trumpish quotes ("heroes on both sides") and James Slack Daily Mail pro-May one ("in a stunning move")


CRUSH THE SABOTEURS

The idea of a Star Wars intro crawl written by daily mail headline writers really tickled my delirious brain

jenna appleseed

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #67 on: December 21, 2019, 10:30:10 PM »
Re: A Tentative Prince Philip Countdown

What, is he heading for Venus

he

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #68 on: December 22, 2019, 12:34:33 AM »
Don't mention the elephant in the room guiiiiiiss

PlanktonSideburns

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #69 on: December 22, 2019, 12:40:32 AM »
whys that then?

magval

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #70 on: December 22, 2019, 09:47:05 AM »

Chad, the only human, earlier

An old one from Buelligan, from a thread about names linked to from a newer thread about names. Comma comedy.

buttgammon

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #71 on: December 22, 2019, 10:28:40 AM »
Really looking forward to a live bbc Christmas eve special report tracking Prince Phil's ghost as it flies cackling all over the british isles, nicholas witchell following in its guff stream sobbing "take me with you", roads barricaded, freezing emaciated breadline families huddled vainly trying to catch sight of the phil spectre, as Huw Edwards plays the trombone and kirsty wark smirks it the fuck up and we dont get to see the eastenders annual swine flu omnibus because the ghoul is over us all night

This is why I love royal threads.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #72 on: December 22, 2019, 11:22:19 AM »
Fantastic


Rich Uncle Skeleton

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #73 on: December 22, 2019, 11:29:33 AM »
Laughed way more than I should have at "phil spectre"

pancreas

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #74 on: December 22, 2019, 09:39:27 PM »
Santa bursts in and starts laying out people left right and centre

Beloved mum - narwhal tusk in the fucking hoop
Grandmama Goggins - Reverse suplex into little Haris' scalextrix app
Little Baby Milo - ended at point blank range with 'a shooter'
Dad - bitch slapped through to a freshly discovered floor of the house. LESSON #1
Dog oh god not the dog not the dog - YES. THE DOG. Good luck fetching its gizzard off the fucking bacon slicer
The electricity supply - GASSED
The twins Jemima and Violet - headbashed, merciful dispatch
Uncle Gavin the Cheerful Racist - given the once over then MASSIVELY ENDED IN THE TWAT
Carol singers arriving at unfortunate moment - chucks a bottle of champers to head height then baseball bat's the cunt to a home run in their fucking faces

Happy fucking Christmas Brexit cunts. Presents are stuck at customs.

Twit 2

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #75 on: December 22, 2019, 10:31:20 PM »
Crying with laughter at that one. Beautiful.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #76 on: December 22, 2019, 10:45:22 PM »
"merciful dispatch". My eyes sting.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #77 on: December 22, 2019, 11:55:21 PM »
Yeah that got me good. Laughed out loud on the train and looked mental.

PlanktonSideburns

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touchingcloth

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #79 on: December 23, 2019, 11:04:39 AM »
Yeah that got me good. Laughed out loud on the train and looked mental.

Which train?

madhair60

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #80 on: December 23, 2019, 11:58:51 AM »
Shaking with laughter at the direction this OFAH thread has gone: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,76721.msg4049106.html#msg4049106

non capisco

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #81 on: December 23, 2019, 02:14:03 PM »
Regarding Chewbacca's medal, if you're going to turn up to an awards ceremony stark-bollock naked except for sixty boxes of Marlboro slung over your shoulder you deserve to go home empty-handed. He was bloody lucky they let him into the venue - if Robert de Niro tried that at the Oscars he would have been out on his ear.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #82 on: December 23, 2019, 02:24:43 PM »
Shaking with laughter at the direction this OFAH thread has gone: https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,76721.msg4049106.html#msg4049106

Just made a really odd gurgling noise on a train reading that.

non capisco

  • automatic writing by phantom limb
Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #83 on: December 23, 2019, 03:02:32 PM »
The ever reliable Gregory Torso on 'Gef the Talking Mongoose'

Imagine the poor local reporter who had to go to that farmhouse, sit down at the kitchen table while some bloke said "Right, Jeff is in the wall at the moment. He can't be seen. Ever. But, if you close your eyes for a long time, I might be able to get him to speak... eyes closed?... yeah... .... ello mate... did you hear that? That was Jeff the talking mongoose. What do you mean it was clearly me doing a high pitched voice? (covers mouth with hand) tosser... newspaper tosser...... calm down, Jeff, he's only doing his job!"

touchingcloth

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #84 on: December 23, 2019, 03:40:37 PM »
Just made a really odd gurgling noise on a train reading that.

Which train?

touchingcloth

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #85 on: December 23, 2019, 03:41:12 PM »
Enjoyed this little run in the Star War thread:

Ok, fair enough.  I agree with that.  It annoys me a bit when fans want detailed explanations for every single thing that happens.  I'm curious, but it's not essential.
But where the fuck did Palpatine come from?  Did I miss an explanation?
The Force.
midichlorians
star wars

Chollis

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #86 on: December 23, 2019, 04:18:44 PM »
idunno's musings on the royal family

Genuinely, i truly hope that Prince Phillip spends this Christmas in a significant amount of pain and then dies.

Wonder if the queens popped round with some grapes and a lucozade yet

I hate the queen

i'd like to break the little ones head open and feast on the goo within

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #87 on: December 23, 2019, 09:14:22 PM »
From the Cats thread:

Schrodinger's fuck

And the aforementioned OFAH thread:

Cassandra's miscarriage (fed to a horse)

I guess I'm just dead in to idunnosomename tonight.

Re: The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW out loud II: The GUFFAWther Part 2
« Reply #88 on: December 23, 2019, 09:26:25 PM »
c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker

BlodwynPig

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