Astronaut Food?

[Flatulent Fox]

Apart from Capri sun drinks and Ecstasy pills,just what do these self proclaimed Astronauts really have to keep them going while they lark about?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 I just read this pish https://www.nasa.gov/audience/foreducators/stem-on-station/ditl_eating.

An astronaut can choose from many types of foods such as fruits, nuts, peanut butter, chicken, beef, seafood, candy, brownies, etc. Available drinks include coffee, tea, orange juice, fruit punches and lemonade.

I notice there is a generous allowance of space weed everyday,and really garbage food.Why don't they just eat MREs as they are essentially boil in a bag?

Also fuck off with this 4 year old publicity stunt - man makes a cheeseburger.In space pish.

[bgmnts]

Shitting out that food in space must be a scary experience.

[Kryton]

Shitting out that food in space must be a scary experience.

You joke but there's some interesting facts about having a shite in space.

During the flight to the moon, the astronauts relied on "a plastic bag which was taped to the buttocks to capture feces," according to NASA. It was a disgusting, cumbersome process. On the moon itself, the astronauts used a "maximum absorbency garment" for "fecal containment."

Apollo 10 was apparently CAKED in poo particles and the Gemini missions were troubled by the fact the craft was quite small.

Adding to the indignity of the act, the physical act of defecating in a bag was difficult. On Gemini flights, the defecating astronaut couldn't give his companion too much distance from the bowel movement; the spacecraft was about the size of the front seat of a small car. On Apollo missions, the astronaut needing to move his bowels would float his way into one corner while the other two men would move as far away as possible. He'd typically strip completely nude, removing rings and everything. Water was limited on board so washing fecal matter from clothing was impossible. Then he'd stick the adhesive opening to his naked buttocks and use the facilities. The whole exercise from stripping down to redressing could take more than an hour.

And on the ISS the (older) toilet recently burst pumping out 9.5 litres of water in zero gravity.

Not sure why I know so much about zero-gravity shitting.

[Kryton]

Look at this for a toilet though.

Every once in a while, the whole process goes awry, or the toilet malfunctions, and the astronauts have to catch a floating turd.

[imitationleather]

Hmm. Actually I don't want to go to space after all.

[SteK]

What about the three shells on Demolition Man?

[Flatulent Fox]

There's a blockage in the toilet - She cannae handle it captain!

I'm surpised they don't just stick their arse out the window like the Russian Cosmonauts do.

[Kryton]

Just use the holo-deck if you need a shite.

[Flatulent Fox]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgMYqxdVAlA

[bgmnts]

You joke but there's some interesting facts about having a shite in space.

Apollo 10 was apparently CAKED in poo particles and the Gemini missions were troubled by the fact the craft was quite small.

And on the ISS the (older) toilet recently burst pumping out 9.5 litres of water in zero gravity.

Not sure why I know so much about zero-gravity shitting.

Deadly serious, based on what you just shared. Imagine a curry or a hangover shit? kin ell

[sick as a pike]

Astronauts:
Don't have to use a belt
Are permitted to go the wrong way around roundabouts
Can wear those special hats with tiny trains going round the rims
"Give It" to a Spaniard
Feed hedgehogs milk, in direct contravention of hedgehog regulations

Oh, astronauts.

[idunnosomename]

I remember they used to sell this in museum gift shops like Jodrell Bank's but of course my parents never let me buy it because i was a perpetually deprived child

[imitationleather]

I remember they used to sell this in museum gift shops like Jodrell Bank's but of course my parents never let me buy it because i was a perpetually deprived child

I tried space cakes once and it made me feel absolutely terrible.

Fuck being in space and having to eat that every day.

[Johnny Yesno]

Every once in a while, the whole process goes awry, or the toilet malfunctions, and the astronauts have to catch a floating turd.

♫ Catch a floating turd and put it in your pocket
Save it for a rainy day ♫

[Kryton]

It's why I imagine about 70% of your average Dalek is just a nice, comfortable and contained toilet.  No fuss, no mess.

[alan nagsworth]

FREAKIN SPACE TOIDS

[Cerys]

CHESTBURSTER!

[alan nagsworth]

wow that dollop of Yellow Sauce Product in the middle does fully look like a little alien head

he's going "OHOHOOO"

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

The miserable cunts won't even let you drink up there. Imagine being stuck on the ISS for six months with a bunch of Russians and you can't even hit the vodka. Fuck it, I'm not going.

[Cerys]

wow that dollop of Yellow Sauce Product in the middle does fully look like a little alien head

he's going "OHOHOOO"

I was sitting here wondering if it was deliberate.  It's almost up there with the T Rex on steve98's avatar.

[NoSleep]

You joke but there's some interesting facts about having a shite in space.

Apollo 10 was apparently CAKED in poo particles and the Gemini missions were troubled by the fact the craft was quite small.

And on the ISS the (older) toilet recently burst pumping out 9.5 litres of water in zero gravity.

Not sure why I know so much about zero-gravity shitting.

They should incorporate this into The Expanse (season 4 starts this week), which has been good on details about living in low/zero gravity; like finding out getting internally injured is far more lethal if there's no gravity, because it's much more difficult to heal (there's no "down" for blood to pool so there's no clotting).

[Cerys]

Is it bad that the word 'expanse', when related to shitting in space, instantly made me think of goatse?

[NoSleep]

Ask Amos.

[alan nagsworth]

Now I'm left wondering why the fuck there's not yet been any porn made in space. With all the daft shit on PornHub these days like THE ADDAMS FUCK FAMILY VALUES and PAWG WITH HAND STUCK IN ANTS NEST SHAGGED BY SWARM you'd think they'd have leapt at the opportunity by now, they could make a fucking killing.

The shitting in a bag thing alone is prime content let alone all the stuff they could do with the food. FLOATING ZERO G BURGER PIERCED BY THICC COCK - WILL SHE EAT IT? Gold mine.

[NoSleep]

Spunk floaters abound. It'd be like Homer and those crisps.

[bgmnts]

Now I'm left wondering why the fuck there's not yet been any porn made in space. With all the daft shit on PornHub these days like THE ADDAMS FUCK FAMILY VALUES and PAWG WITH HAND STUCK IN ANTS NEST SHAGGED BY SWARM you'd think they'd have leapt at the opportunity by now, they could make a fucking killing.

The shitting in a bag thing alone is prime content let alone all the stuff they could do with the food. FLOATING ZERO G BURGER PIERCED BY THICC COCK - WILL SHE EAT IT? Gold mine.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_in_space

I've always wanted space sex and had no idea it was a thing until now.

[alan nagsworth]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_in_space

Scientist Stephen Hawking publicly concluded in 2006 that possibly human survival itself will depend on successfully contending with the extreme environments of space.

I bet he fucking did, the dirty old bollocks.

[alan nagsworth]

So sad that Hawking died without in his lifetime ever getting to see a deep dicking in space.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I think ideally for him he'd have been doing the dicking, but alas that would have been unfeasible. His wheelchair would have got in the way.

[Cuntbeaks]

Just send up a load of Pot Noodles.