POST COMPUTER PROBLEMS IN THIS THREAD ONLY

[popcorn]

Won't turn on.?

[Pink Gregory]

Disk drive is dispensing a clear paste.

[Captain Z]

Won't turn on.?

Have you changed the oil since you bought it?

Disk drive is dispensing a clear paste.

How clear?

[Huxleys Babkins]

Mack gone bang!

[popcorn]

Have you changed the oil since you bought it?

Yes I change the oil every 45 minutes.

[chveik]

I have a drakulae stuck in my hard drive

[kittens]

there's porno on it but it's not the kind i like

[pancreas]

It lost all my work.

[Pink Gregory]

How clear?

Slightly gritty, like saliva

[Replies From View]

Slightly gritty, like saliva

You should be rinsing your mouth out more thoroughly because saliva should have a lovely syrupy texture, not be coming out in gritty mounds.

[Huxleys Babkins]

CD-ROM full of mice.

[pancreas]

graphics card has fallen into my arsehole

[momatt]

My dog ate it.  Pleez help.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Cacodemon from Doom come out the monitor and bummed my wife. Again.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Clippy called me a git.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Spotify only play Bygraves.

[popcorn]

You should be rinsing your mouth out more thoroughly because saliva should have a lovely syrupy texture, not be coming out in gritty mounds.

Replies this is the computer problems thread not the dental hygiene thread.

I don't know how many times I am going to have to warn you about this sort of thing.

[An tSaoi]

PUTER BROK

[Huxleys Babkins]

Piss all in keyboard. Not mine.

[Pink Gregory]

It plays a noise but it's not the noise I wanted, it made me feel sad.

[Dr Trouser]

the screen curtains are jammed halfway, can't open or close.

[pancreas]

slugs have eaten about 5gb of RAM.

[Captain Z]

My f# key will only type in minor not major.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Netflix will only play footage of my mother's fatal car crash. I'm using Chrome.

[pancreas]

Why is human excrement pouring out of the CD drive? Also, I can't get porn to work.

[Cuellar]

Porn only works if you believe in it

[Cold Meat Platter]

My computer broke and now i'm bored.

[popcorn]

Is anyone going to help with all these computer problems ?

[kittens]

i gave my computer to my son but i want to play on it again.

[Deyv]

Is anyone going to help with all these computer problems ?

That's for the computer solutions only thread, obviously.