THEN YOU MUST KNOW HENNERIES COCK

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It's a brewery I think or a farm.  Quite near you.  You must surely have heard of it?

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You must have heard of it guys, it's really famous.



It's a statue I think, or some kind of commemorative structure.  HENNERIES COCK, it's called.  It's very local to where you are so you have surely been there.

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It must surely be one of your top five things to go and see?  - you love historical re-enactments.  And it's really local to you.

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Hey I've heard of this thing you might like called HENNERIES COCK.


Basically it's a thing where someone comes out of their house cursing and they drop a load of possessions on the ground and the possessions get wet and ruined.



It's not expensive to see it and it's really nearby to where you live, I think.

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You must surely have heard of it - it's really famous.

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It's a brewery or a farm or something like this.

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Come on guys it's like super famous.  It's always in those top ten places to go in the UK lists.  It's practically on your doorstep.

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You must surely have heard of it.

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You'd love it - you can climb to the top of it and the views from it are magnificent.


You are surely aware of it?

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Come on, it's this Manor House thing with all like a farm attached or something, or a brewery?


It's practically on your doorstep you must surely have heard of it?

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Come on it's like somebody leaving their house and dropping everything and then it all gets wet.

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They step out of their house and they suddenly start using a watering can on a large car sponge so that it becomes irretrievably sodden. 


You have surely heard of it; you must have done.  It's right on your doorstep and deeply famous.

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SURELY YOU ARE A MASSIVE FAN OF IT, COME ON

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YOU MUST SURELY REMEMBER IT?




IT'S BASICALLY THIS SPONGE THING BEING WATERED


IT'S MASSIVELY FAMOUS, COME ON




IT'S RIGHT ON YOUR FUCKING DOORSTEP

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HENNERIES COCK, it's called.

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It's this brewery/farm/sponge thing.  Not far from where you live...?

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It's called HENNERIES COCK; you have surely heard of it?

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It's like one of those brambles you can get where you can't see it growing with your eyes but if you close them and reach out with your hand you can definitely feel it.


Very local to where you are.  You're bound to have heard of it.

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HENNERIES COCK it's called.

[popcorn]

I'm absolutely sick of people assuming I know Henneries Cock simply because of the colour of my anus.

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I'm absolutely sick of people assuming I know Henneries Cock simply because of the colour of my anus.

Why - what colour is it?

[popcorn]

Well if you thought about that question for more than a single second of your life maybe you'd realise why I'm the last person who would know.

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Well if you thought about that question for more than a single second of your life maybe you'd realise why I'm the last person who would know.

So are people telling you about the colour of your anus without telling you what the colour is?  Seems a bit miserly.

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You must have heard of it anyway.  It has one of those dusty panels that you have to remove before you can obtain any form of reimbursement?

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It's called HENNERIES COCK; surely you have heard of it.

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It's called HENNERIES COCK I believe.  I think it has one of those dusty panels on the front that you have to take off before you can get any kind of reimbursement.


It surely rings a bell.  It's really local to where you are.

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It's some kind of door, I think?  I'm sure you must have heard of it.  Maybe it's famously very old and therefore it is highly cherished by the community that houses it?  It's right on your doorstep so I'm sure you must visit it routinely.

Yes it is called HENNERIES COCK

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I'm sure you must be really familiar with it it's famously one of the oldest doors ever

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In particular it is a giant inflatable mermaid/weightlifter.


It must surely ring a bell?

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One of those manor houses with a brewery or farm connected with it, you remember?  And there's a woman sharply exiting the front door isn't she, all flustered, and then suddenly she's using a watering can to saturate a pink car sponge in the shape of a weightlifter or mermaid.


You must surely have heard of it?  It's exactly your kind of thing and it's practically on your doorstep.