Doin time for a crime I did not commit

[popcorn]

Need you guys to hatch a plan to bust me out.

Thanks.

[pancreas]

Any idea where you're doing porridge? That would be a start.

[popcorn]

The clink.

[pancreas]

OK. That helps. It's been closed since 1780. What century are you in? The precise year would also help.

[popcorn]

Look I'm not allowed to use the wifi, can you just send a file in a cake or something.

[pancreas]

What sort of file? Like a pdf of the prison layout? Although I suppose if you're stuck in the 18th Century then I may have to convert it to a BMP for you.

[Ferris]

delighted about this tbh

[popcorn]

You won't get away with this ferris !!

the man who done it is still at large!!!

[pancreas]

What is the crime, please?

[Glebe]

It's the A-Team all over again.

[popcorn]

What is the crime, please?

it is, unfortunately, carnal bumrape.

[Ferris]

delighted about this tbh

Since posting this, I have been violently sick twice. No joke here, it's absolutely true. I have been overcome with Ferris Jr's virus thing (again) within hours of being a perfectly healthy man. Now I'm shivering under a blanket, trying to neck gravol and knock myself out.

Is this the curse of popcorn?

[popcorn]

It's fucking guilt you snake.

[popcorn]

Really looking forward to parole.

[pancreas]

I think you're in their for life if it's carnal bumrape. Quite right in my view, throw away the key, quite right.

[idunnosomename]

If you commit the same crime inside prison i think it cancels out so give that a pop

[popcorn]

I think you're in their for life if it's carnal bumrape. Quite right in my view, throw away the key, quite right.

But it weren't me. You believe me don't you pancreas? You believe me don't you?

[Ferris]

Sure mate; I believe you.

Got any leads on who the real culprit is?

[pancreas]

I hope you're not implying that it is anything to do with me. I wouldn't do something like that. No, this carnal bumrape has popcorn written all over it.

[popcorn]

Think about it though.

Why would I write my name on my own carnal bumrape?

I've been set up.

[Spoon of Ploff]

https://youtu.be/BcG1Dr0sPG0?list=PLWroBlYHT_TifV8xlOMIhScbAIUlGyAJC

[pancreas]

Think about it though.

Why would I write my name on my own carnal bumrape?

I've been set up.

Maybe you are a compulsive tagger. You like to see your name up in lights, as it were. You look at that carnal bumrape and you say with teary pride: 'That was me, popcorn. I did that.'

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

I've secretly tattooed a map of the prison onto my glans

[Ferris]

^not falling for this again

[pancreas]

Is it in braille?

Yeah. Not falling for this again.

[Pinball]

I don't know about breaking you out, but I can visit you and bring some condom-wrapped cocaine in my rectum, if that helps?

[petril]

you could go to the Los Angeles underground and survive as a soldier of fortune.

drawbacks: would only work from a maximum security stockade; nostalgia wanker talking heads giving you undeserved praise

[Replies From View]

it is, unfortunately, carnal bumrape.

Carnal bumrape is called arnal rape in 2020.