Author Topic: Terrible album covers thread Part 2  (Read 14973 times)

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #30 on: January 15, 2020, 06:11:23 PM »
I do hate Bonded By Blood's cover though.

And worth saying both Battleaxe - Burn This Town and Wolf - Wolf (which has a fun back cover actually) have been replaced on the rereleases. Battleaxe was a mistake where the draft of the artwork went to press without the band's permission. It would've been cool if done properly, esp since the town was supposed to be Sunderland.

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #31 on: January 15, 2020, 06:34:05 PM »
This one genuinely looks like something I'd have drawn aged 9.


alan nagsworth

  • there was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #32 on: January 15, 2020, 06:57:30 PM »
It's no Virgin Killer.

Watch your tone before you start accusing me of stuff like that.

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #33 on: January 15, 2020, 08:31:50 PM »
This one genuinely looks like something I'd have drawn aged 9
and WELL DONE YOU.

they keep trying bless them but theyve never been signed and consensus is theyre shit

https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/KeyDragon/43676

Also they have even worse covers if you can imagine that


Stil prefer that over 00s Strom though

Egyptian Feast

  • Nice girls don't wear cha-cha heels
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #34 on: January 15, 2020, 08:41:19 PM »
I love Wolf and wish he was my pet. He's adorable.

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #35 on: January 15, 2020, 09:09:40 PM »
I have a better pic somewhere but this is the full Wolf cover

http://bp1.blogger.com/_Yd6gpcRBgvE/SGpY4kNvqSI/AAAAAAAAAEs/MHZcZYfD4Cs/s1600-h/wolfcoverblog.jpg

It's by a well-known Swedish illustrator who's done horror and childrens books that the band wanted to use. It's weird but i think it's way more individual than the usual airbrushed manowar sword n dragon shit as well as looking a bit 70s retro

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Arnold

After they broke through they had stop using him as he was a bit niche to Swedes. I saw them last year at Camden Underworld, great bunch of lads. Meat and potatoes metal

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #36 on: January 15, 2020, 09:14:26 PM »
Watch your tone before you start accusing me of stuff like that.

Eh? I was just comparing the reasonably, indeed arguably, bad Love Drive cover with the famously bad, or should that be infamously bad, Virgin Killer Album by the same group.

Oh hang on, are you same guy who had a go at me the other day about something harmless I'd said, even that wasn't even directed at anyone yet alone anyone in specific. I think, I can't remember what I wrote now.

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #37 on: January 15, 2020, 09:20:37 PM »
The joke is that the Virgin Killer is so infamous to the point where it got wikipedia classed as a child porn site in the 00s for hosting it, that by even mentioning it, you are are accusing someone of paedophilia.

Scorpions had so many fucking awful covers. God knows where they got them from. Uli had a narrow escape.

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #38 on: January 15, 2020, 09:47:35 PM »
Where's the accusation I was linking to any specific person? Is the album so corrupting it stains the very soul of any mentioned in its presence?

The album, with artwork is still on Wikipedia. BTW.

I've always quite like the artwork for what I think is their first album, lonesome Crow. Never heard it.



 https://www.discogs.com/Scorpions-Lonesome-Crow/release/824708

Same people who did Monster Movie by Can.
« Last Edit: January 15, 2020, 10:05:40 PM by OnlyRegisteredSoICanRead »

Egyptian Feast

  • Nice girls don't wear cha-cha heels
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #39 on: January 16, 2020, 08:53:13 PM »
I have a better pic somewhere but this is the full cover

Haha, cheers for that. It raises so many questions I never expected to be pondering when I saw the front cover. I originally thought he was a terrifying beast that might haunt a moor, feasting on unwary travellers and the like, but now it seems like he's heading to a flooded dog brothel and may actually be quite a regular bloke by the standards of the area. Does the album have any songs about him? I need more information.

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #40 on: January 16, 2020, 09:33:02 PM »
they did send Arnold the lyrics and some aspects of the back cover are from them, apparently. I think it was a bit of an esoteric commission and they were just happy he did it.

here's the bigger image



honestly I remember when I first saw the cover I thought it was a terrible solo Black Metal effort rather than a trad heavy metal band. but now I love baboon wolf and the almost Funnybones house/brothel on the back. it's probably their best album even though they don't play anything off it now. Fucking great guitar tone.

Egyptian Feast

  • Nice girls don't wear cha-cha heels
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #41 on: January 16, 2020, 09:49:42 PM »
I'll definitely give that a listen. Hans Arnold sounds like an interesting bloke, I'd have been happy if he did my album cover and wouldn't have replaced baboon wolf for a reissue even if people laugh at him. He's above their sneers. They're just jealous.

I was tempted to change my avatar to him, but it came out shit.

Egyptian Feast

  • Nice girls don't wear cha-cha heels
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #42 on: January 16, 2020, 09:54:52 PM »
Gah, that reissue cover is shit. How could they?

alan nagsworth

  • there was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #43 on: January 16, 2020, 10:07:49 PM »
Eh? I was just comparing the reasonably, indeed arguably, bad Love Drive cover with the famously bad, or should that be infamously bad, Virgin Killer Album by the same group.

Oh hang on, are you same guy who had a go at me the other day about something harmless I'd said, even that wasn't even directed at anyone yet alone anyone in specific. I think, I can't remember what I wrote now.

Nah mate it was just a joke because "it's no virgin killer" sort of sounds like you're accusing me of killing virgins. Maybe it doesn't actually I dunno. Anyway no harm was intended.

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #44 on: January 16, 2020, 11:35:01 PM »
im also very against Battleaxe getting rid of their iconically a bit rubbish 1983 cover by Geordie lad Arthur Ball



for this one


which while Louise Limb's work is far more competent it lacks the visceral Sunderland cobbled-together vibe of the NWOBHM. still, would love to stand on the south bank triumphantly with an axe on a motorbike while London burns.

edit shit london doesnt make sense since tower bridge is on her left. argh

Egyptian Feast

  • Nice girls don't wear cha-cha heels
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #45 on: January 16, 2020, 11:41:16 PM »
Yeah, that's wrong too. What it gains in competence it loses in charm.

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #46 on: January 17, 2020, 02:17:05 PM »


some twits have been listening to old Neil

Shame - I just tried to listen to some AJJ on the strength of this (quite good IMO) record cover. It's shit. I think.

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #47 on: January 17, 2020, 03:24:26 PM »
I really like People II: The Reckoning - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyY7Yvx2PYA

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #48 on: January 20, 2020, 05:43:47 PM »


See you at the Snooker World Champ qualifiers lads?



Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #49 on: January 20, 2020, 06:06:38 PM »


Fella on the right forever ostracised by the other two cos he doesn't have a small face.  "We tried to find someone else with a small face, but we couldn't so we had to go to the Long Face Agency and he was the only one that wasn't trying out for an acting role as a horse.  We haven't found a small face musician since, despite years of searching."

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #50 on: January 20, 2020, 06:11:26 PM »
Fella on the right forever ostracised by the other two cos he doesn't have a small face.  "We tried to find someone else with a small face, but we couldn't so we had to go to the Long Face Agency and he was the only one that wasn't trying out for an acting role as a horse.  We haven't found a small face musician since, despite years of searching."

Talking of horses, this is who he replaced in the band


Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #51 on: January 20, 2020, 06:14:12 PM »


I like Zappa but this wasn't really on, was it?

I always assumed it was oil/grease what with working in Joe's Garage.

But now you mention it…

Have you ever heard Fish-Thing?

It was originally done for the Lather box set (which never materialised), before Joe's Garage came into existence.  When Lather was cancelled, Zappa decided to just use the Lather photos to save money on new designs for Joe's Garage.

The reasoning behind the photos from that shoot is unknown, but it's more likely to be an ironic comment or even outright critique of racism in American music at the time.  Say what you want about Zappa, but being racist is one thing no one can accuse him of.


Thing-Fish is fucking terrible.

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #52 on: January 20, 2020, 06:25:45 PM »
Talking of horses, this is who he replaced in the band



Who had moderately whelming success in a German Small Faces tribute band called Long Faces, and in the 80s appeared as Geddy Lee on the German version of Stars In Their Eyes (Starzen Gotten Immun Toter Lasen Occularen, Sie Bitte Gut Fahren Ja?).

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #53 on: January 20, 2020, 07:06:17 PM »
He also starred in a Bavarian Thunder Cats musical

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #54 on: January 20, 2020, 07:12:54 PM »
He also starred in a Bavarian Thunder Cats musical

Showzen Storm Im Himmel Kopfen-kappfel Schmitzen Reisen, ROAR und Frei?  Yar, good show that.

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #55 on: January 21, 2020, 10:17:19 AM »

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #56 on: January 21, 2020, 10:33:27 AM »
Their expressions describe very well my feelings on the respective parts of the title

purlieu

  • Gertrude Stein said that's enough.
Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #57 on: January 21, 2020, 02:26:56 PM »
"Are you sure the presence of the word 'football' is enough to persuade our target audience of 'blokes' to buy this?"
"Maybe not. Let's put the cello player in a corset and fishnets to make sure."

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #58 on: January 21, 2020, 02:35:58 PM »
They missed a trick not having the cellist in a football strip. Two birds with one stone.

Re: Terrible album covers thread Part 2
« Reply #59 on: January 21, 2020, 02:37:48 PM »
They missed a trick not having the cellist in a football strip. Two birds with one stone.

And the footballer in a corset and fishnets?

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