ANTI-LGBT+ STAR WARS.

[Glebe]

STORMTROOPER: Here comes Palpatine - arses to the wall lads!

NEW PAGE INTERGALACTIC TRANSPHOBIA TWAT!

[Huxleys Babkins]

OBI-WAN: You don't need to see his identification.

STORMTROOPER: We don't need to see his identification. Just his willy.

OBI-WAN: Mate, I'm losing my fucking patience here. Next cunt that tries something is having an arm off.

[Huxleys Babkins]

https://vimeo.com/383589115

[DangledTeeth]

C-3PO: I'm taking one last look at my friends. Poignant.

Poe: My name's pronounced Poe Dameron. But that's not important. The Sith stabber *fourth-wall-breaking wink* says something about the location of a wayfinder. You need to decipher it.

C-3PO: Decipher a blade's inscription?! Oh no, sir. That wasn't my intention. I have several homo-erotic novels stored within my memory, but my program forbids me to dictate them.

Finn: That's okay, then.

[idunnosomename]

Darth Maul: I am leader of this crime syndicate now for some reason
Person: didnt you get chopped in half
Maul: yes but i got robot legs
Person: WHAT TOILETS DO YOU USE NOW YOU HAVE NO BALLS, GROOMER

[DangledTeeth]

Yoda: You must learrrn to control your anus.

Luke: Yes, Master Yoda. Your teaching is r- what?!

Yoda: Cock warts not make one gay.

Luke: I don't get it.

Yoda: Do. Or do not. There is no 'bi'.

Luke: I'm saying bye to you, pal.

[Glebe]

CHEWIE: We've got to escape the Death Star, but we'd better split up... Luke, you go with Leia, me and Han will go this way.

LUKE: I'd prefer to go with Han.

CHEWIE: Don't pull that face Han. At least he doesn't fancy his sister.

[DangledTeeth]

A bored Luke pulls down his trousers in order (66) to expose his bum cheeks

Han purses his lips and gingerly rests his index fingertip at the corner of his mouth

Han: That'ssss no moon.

Chewbacca: UrrRrrRrAAoOw!

[DangledTeeth]

Leia: I have something to tell you... Luke is gay.

Han: I know.

Han coyly bows his head and runs his fingertip across his ear

Leia: Really?! You're one of them, too.

[DangledTeeth]

Rey: I'd rather not do this now.

Kylo: Same here. I didn't instigate this force-bond session. Now is not a good time.

Rey: Why not?!

Kylo: As you can tell, I'm currently being wanked off by snoke.





Rey: Gasp! Ben(der) Swolo!

[Glebe]

"Tell your sister you were right about me. You were right."

"Right about what, father?"

"She'll know. She'll know."

[Glebe]

MON MOTHMA: Many bothans died to bring us this information.

ADMIRAL ACKBAR: That's all well and good Mon Mothma, but what's with that new buffed-up physique and buzz cut? Actually if I can be a little more indiscreet and come straight out and say what everybody's thinking... this new 'lifestyle' you are rumoured to be pursing is more than a little disconcerting and I reckon we shouldn't be taking advice from a 'loose cannon', as it were. In fact I'm just walking out of here. Anyone care to join me?

Everyone leaves, but on the way out, Nien Nunb gives Mon Mothma a 'meaningful' look.

[Glebe]

"Darth Vader, only you could be so bold!"

"What, you mean boarding your ship unannounced, Your Highness?"

"No, I mean brazenly displaying that rainbow flag sticker on your breastplate!"

[Glebe]

DARTH VADER: The reward goes to the bounty hunter who captures Captain Solo alive, with no disintergrations!

IG-88: So anyway Dengar as I was saying, I no longer wish to identify as either male nor female.

DENGAR: I think they're cutting this scene out mate.

[The Bumlord]

Luke watches as Boba Fett goes deep into the Sarlacc's mouth.

[Glebe]

"Could we have that report on the number of bothans lost, Mon Mothma?"

"No it's Man Mothma now, Admiral Ackbar!"

"Sigh."

[Glebe]

Princess Leia gives a speech to rally the troops before the Battle of Endor.

"It's great to see so many gathered to face the Empire. "Human, ewok, wookie... straight gay and lesbian."

Standing at the back, Ackbar rolls his big fish eyes and goes "Pfft" under his breath.