Some kind of new Woody Allen film that makes Louis CK become your dad

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Yeah it's a magical process that when you watch this new kind of Woody Allen film you are somehow converted into being the offspring of Louis CK.

Would you be able to resist?

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It would be advertised that way, as well.  "COME AND SEE 'BORSON'S GREEK', THE NEW WOODY ALLEN FILM OF 2020.  THROUGH A MAGICAL PROCESS IT WILL CONVERT YOU INTO BEING LOUIS CK'S SON OR DAUGHTER IF AND ONLY IF YOU SIT THROUGH THE WHOLE LOT OF THE FILM FROM START TO FINISH."

Just thought I'd say that in case you are worried about not being told.


I think the queues would arch around the corner of the cinema and up the highstreet and down through Kingsmead Square back towards Southgate if I am honest.  Everyone lining up to undergo such a miraculous process.  It'll be a bit like when Charlie Bucket gets that golden ticket and he just instantly forgets the chocolate bar which he allows to drop to the ground - everyone will be like 'FUCK THE FILM WRAPPING THIS THING - I'M A GONNA GET ME INTO BEING LOUIS CK'S SON OR DAUGHTER Y'ALL', barging past everyone else to make sure they get to the screen.

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I'm astonished that you'd find this so commonplace as to remain unmoved even from your seat.

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Incredible isn't it what they can do within this day and age

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What they can achieve, I mean.

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Y'know, with the ability to turn Louis CK into your dad and all that.

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The things they can do with Woody Allen films and so on.

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Does the magical process involve ejaculate as a reagent, perchance?

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Does the magical process involve ejaculate as a reagent, perchance?

I can't give you all the details obviously but it uses parsimony anditures, weekend hives and a coppice of unbound allen keys.

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So this has just become a lot more profound.


Essentially - let me summarise if I may without interruption for once - there was some kind of pursuit that led to many early adopters getting "bumped out" with an untidy rump.  Consequently many of these were left paying twice and, crucially, getting only a quarter of what was pressed into them on the earliest turnstile.