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Adventure

Started by Ferris, January 12, 2020, 03:57:05 AM

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Ferris

You awake in a small room, on an uncomfortable bed. It is dark, but not impenetrably so. The air is musty, and the walls/ceiling are rough. The door is ajar, with a dim yellow light visible through the gap. You have your standard inventory of pen/paper, flashlight, pocket knife, unopened pack of baseball cards.

What is you next move?

Rules - I'll only respond to the first poster. I actually have something worked out so I'd be interested to see how far through it we get before someone posts "chop off own knob lol".

popcorn


Spoon of Ploff

Well thats that then. Thanks for playing.

Ferris

Quote from: popcorn on January 12, 2020, 04:23:24 AM
BUM DOOR

You prepare to rub yourself against the door, and notice it opens easily onto a corridor. You can't see the end in either direction but there is a flickering light coming from the left side, and a slight whistling noise coming from the right side.

What is your next move?

Spoon of Ploff

Still feeling a bit tired actually. CLose door, go back to bed.

Ferris

Quote from: Spoon of Ploff on January 12, 2020, 11:10:44 AM
Still feeling a bit tired actually. CLose door, go back to bed.

If you're going to start the adventure of a lifetime, it helps to be well rested! You awake what feels like a few hours later feeling restored, and notice the flickering light is no longer present.

+1 to all rolls for the next 24hrs.

What is your next move?

popcorn

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on January 12, 2020, 10:59:31 AM
You prepare to rub yourself against the door, and notice it opens easily onto a corridor. You can't see the end in either direction but there is a flickering light coming from the left side, and a slight whistling noise coming from the right side.

What is your next move?

Investigate whistling noise (could be bummable - a whistling bumhole?)

Ferris

Quote from: popcorn on January 12, 2020, 12:17:27 PM
Investigate whistling noise (could be bummable - a whistling bumhole?)

That's enough resting, time to investigate! You leave the room, and turn right. It's a long dark corridor, and you walk along it for about 10 yards until you find the source of the whistling - it's a window, also helpfully ajar.

FerrisRPGTM uses the P.E.N.I.S.TM system to interact with your world. When you arrive at a new object or situation, you can

Perceive - an exploration check to learn more about the item or your surroundings.
Enter combat - sometimes it is the only way
Negotiate - start conversation with/attempt to persuade NPCs.
Interact - is there a puzzle? Or an item? Gotta interact to get things moving.
Stealth - sneak around/past situations or people.

Next move?

Inspector Norse

Smash face into window pane

Ferris

Quote from: Inspector Norse on January 12, 2020, 01:24:33 PM
Smash face into window pane

Interact with the window pane? Fair enough.

It swings open easily. You see a rooftop just below - you could probably get down onto it if you needed. The flickering light at the other end of the corridor has returned.

Next move?

popcorn

Don't want to jump out of the window without due cause.

PERCEIVE flickering light.

Spoon of Ploff

Hi. Just wanted to be the first person to do the 'kill Jester' joke. Thanks. Looking forward to the next bit... immensely.

Ferris

Quote from: popcorn on January 12, 2020, 01:40:31 PM
Don't want to jump out of the window without due cause.

PERCEIVE flickering light.

I rolled a D20 for you. 15 (+1 for your well rested bonus) is good enough to get a pretty full picture.

It's candlelight, definitely. You don't see the candle so presumably it is around the corner or in a different room at the other end of the corridor. You can hear low voices from that direction, but you can't make out the words or language at this distance as you are still near the window. Your eyes have adjusted to the dark, so you can see the corridor is painted a muted beige colour - there is a mirror about halfway, you can see the door to your initial room roughly opposite the mirror. There's the candlelight at the far end, you are by a window and there is a door at your current end of the corridor but it is closed with a heavy lock.

Next move?

popcorn

PERCEIVE conversation. I approach quietly and try to eavesdrop.

Ferris

#14
Quote from: popcorn on January 12, 2020, 02:55:26 PM
PERCEIVE conversation. I approach quietly and try to eavesdrop.

No need to roll - you can get close. It's a separate room, but the door is open. It smells strongly of cheap coffee and cleaning products.

You realize you understand the language! As you approach, you catch some of the conversation between 2 speakers.

"...couldn't believe it! The things he was saying!"
"I know! Can't believe 'they' let him get away with it!"
"He really gave 'em both barrels. Anyway, I should get back to work - those bogs won't scrub themselves"
"Yes me too, can't sit around here all day"

Next move?

popcorn

Although the window is tempting I've learnt nothing to make me suspicious of the circumstances. It's not like my door was locked.

I open my pack of baseball cards and attempt to NEGOTIATE with my new friends. "Evening, fellows! Does anyone like baseball?"

Ferris

Quote from: popcorn on January 12, 2020, 03:28:57 PM
Although the window is tempting I've learnt nothing to make me suspicious of the circumstances. It's not like my door was locked.

I open my pack of baseball cards and attempt to NEGOTIATE with my new friends. "Evening, fellows! Does anyone like baseball?"

Rolled a 19 (+1) so that's a full success. Your conversation is fully productive and you get some much needed context.

"Oh my god, Brian - it's him! He's here!"
"Fuck off no he isn't... shit! He is! Wow!"

You attempt to talk to them airily about the weather, but it doesn't go anywhere and after a while the penny drops. It's you. You're him. You are "thorn in the side of the establishment who says the unsayable", Gicky Rervais, fresh from a night of saying the unsayable.

*Title card*
Saying the Unsayable: a Ferris/Rervais Original RPG Experience

It all starts to come back to you... this must be the Holiday Inn. That explains the beige walls and uncomfortable bed, as well as the broken lock on your door and use of candles in the 21st century. God, what was in those vegan canapés? You turn back to your new friends.

"Enjoy the show?" You encourage as much adulation as you can get from these people, and after 40 minutes or so decide it is time to make progress.

You remember - shit, it's today! The big meeting with NotFlix, the online media company that will overpay anybody for low quality bilge. Unfortunately, not everybody is as open minded as your new friends - rival media companies, unhappy journalists, and idiots who don't "get" that you are doing "irony" are everywhere. You'll have to use all your skill to get to the other side of town (but you don't know the address). You haven't written any material but you can cook up any old shit on the way, so will need at least 3 incidents to pass off as pre-written material to the gullible NotFlix execs.

You ask Brian and his friend, the cleaners at the Holiday Inn, not to tell anyone they've seen you. They agree, and your mission begins in earnest.

Next move?

Spoon of Ploff

Stab self in face with pocket knife.

pancreas

I think you mean ENTER COMBAT with self using pocket knife and face.

Ferris

Quote from: Spoon of Ploff on January 12, 2020, 03:56:17 PM
Stab self in face with pocket knife.

And potentially damage the face of Rationalism and Atheism? Your programming won't allow you to do that. Not for your own sake of course, but for the rest of the world.

Next move?

popcorn

PERCEIVE whether the two people I've just met are disableds.

Ferris

Quote from: popcorn on January 12, 2020, 05:33:00 PM
PERCEIVE whether the two people I've just met are disableds.

Rolled a 16 (+1)

Nothing comes to your immediate comic sensibilities, so you assume they are "normals" and unfortunately no good for the hastily dashed off material you need to present to the execs. You notice they have left through the heavily locked door, which is now wide open offering you an alternative route from the window.

Next move?

Inspector Norse

Lock door again and have furtive wank into their coffee cups

Ferris

Quote from: Inspector Norse on January 12, 2020, 06:48:14 PM
Lock door again and have furtive wank into their coffee cups

You can't lock the door at the end of the corridor without the key :(

You go into the cleaning supply cupboard using STEALTH.

Roll 2 (+1).

Your trousers fall down on the way in, and you trip over and land in a mop bucket while exposing yourself. This piece of puerile slapstick is so broad that you chuckle to yourself and resolve to put it in your next sitcom. Hey! That's one piece of "writing" I can give to the execs at NotFlix - one down, 2 to go!

You clean yourself up (lucky no one saw), and plan your next move.

What now? I don't want to dictate but you've been in the same corridor/rooms at the Holiday Inn for some time, and those dipshits at NotFlix won't wait forever for your banal musings.

Inspector Norse

It's OK, I can sell it to Congo Prime instead. They show all manner of shite.

Ferris

Quote from: Inspector Norse on January 12, 2020, 07:26:44 PM
It's OK, I can sell it to Congo Prime instead. They show all manner of shite.

You giggle to yourself and resolve to tweet this the next time you are able. Once all this is done, probably!

Next move?

pancreas


Ferris

Quote from: pancreas on January 12, 2020, 09:33:56 PM
Fly to Riga.

Doesn't use the patented P.E.N.I.S.TM command system so can't be considered.

Please try again.

Ferris

Shutting down for the night, will respond to next post in the morning. There's a lot of adventuring ahead!

kittens

Hard Crap into underwear then mush ass around on floor