Adventure

[Ferris]

Rervais is really struggling to find any new material, and time is running short!

negotiate call Steve Merchant and beg him to give you some ideas.

Roll 17

Time to drum up some material to sell to these roobs! No cellphone, and no ideas, but you spy a pay phone and it's your lucky day, there's a coin in the slot! You dial 1-800-SMERCH and speak to your erstwhile writing chum, Mephen Sterchant. He tries to talk about himself so you cut him off and ask for a skit. He gives you something that was scrapped from the first draft of Hello Ladies. It's crap, but who's going to tell you otherwise? Now to rebadge it as your idea and jobs a good un!

That's 2 of 3 ideas hastily dashed off. The NotFlix offices close at 5 and you still have a way to go, but things are looking up for our Gicky.

Next move?

[Spoon of Ploff]

negotiate: put in a call to Karl Pilkington, reversing the charges, and try to goad him into giving up some rejected ideas from his latest series of The Groaning of Life.

[Ferris]

negotiate: put in a call to Karl Pilkington, reversing the charges, and try to goad him into giving up some rejected ideas from his latest series of The Groaning of Life.

Roll 18

Astonishingly, this almost works again. You giggle and prepare to tap up Parl Kilkington for a slice of his everyman off-the-wall humour. Sadly, you've ostracized him so effectively you don't know his number so end up calling your publicist who rejects the charges.

(You've had your fun with the phone)

With a roll that good, the hotdog seller notices you are sad and gives you a free hotdog so that's lunch sorted. Its miscellaneous meaty goodness makes you feel much better and gives you a +1 to future rolls.

You notice some of the kids feeding the swans are looking over - as your target audience, they might recognize you soon and you feel like you might not want to tarry here too long.

Next move?

[Spoon of Ploff]

Stealth - you need to create a diversion in order to steal a bike. sneakily tip one of the kids into the swan pond.

[Ferris]

Stealth - you need to create a diversion in order to steal a bike. sneakily tip one of the kids into the swan pond.

Roll 17

(Sorry been swamped at work)

It's a success. You sidle over to one of the kids and push them into the pond, leaving only the geese as witnesses.

You giggle your way over to one of the chuckle brothers-style pedal car as everyone rushes to help the stricken child and you take off at great speed, chuckling as you go. Now we're making some progress! But time to get out of here before that pesky child rats you out. You aim your novelty transportation towards the MegaCorp tower and away you go!

Lot of traffic on the streets, and people will surely notice you whizzing down the sidewalks like an errant Chuckle brother so it might not be a perfect solution.

You come to an intersection, and see a crowd of office workers having lunch, a few coppers, and a traffic jam blocking your path. You're right downtown and have made good progress - the tower isn't far. You could try and keep going on your purloined quadracycle, or take to the streets in earnest for the final leg. Still need one piece of low calibre material to make sure the meeting goes well.

Next move?

[Spoon of Ploff]

Take to the Streets. Such a massive intellect should be able to come up with comedy gold walking among and observing the hoi polloi.

But first a disguise. Use the pen to draw a realistic looking Hitler mustache on upper lip.

[H-O-W-L]

Talk The Master into bumming himself.

[Ferris]

Take to the Streets. Such a massive intellect should be able to come up with comedy gold walking among and observing the hoi polloi.

But first a disguise. Use the pen to draw a realistic looking Hitler mustache on upper lip.

Interact with PEN from inventory.

Roll 9 (+1 from your hotdog bonus)

You wander on, and draw a shit hitler moustache on your own face as you go, using your writing implement. With a roll that mediocre, it is simultaneously asinine and offensive - perfect! If you "offend" a few plebs on the way, you can use hilarious put-downs (that your writers can come up with later) and totally own them (in your head in a few hours or on twitter). Fingers crossed, but looks like you'll be in fine form for NotFlix.

As you continue your journey, you see the MegaCorp building and it is only a few blocks away. One more piece of material and this is in the bag (probably). You see a fire hydrant nearby, a small coffee shop a little further on, and a crowd of office workers finishing their work and trudging back to their desks further still (some of whom may even be heading into the MegaCorp building which houses NotFlix HQ).

Next move?

[Dex Sawash]

BUM edit glitch

[Spoon of Ploff]

anyone? i can't be doing all the heavy lifting here lads..

[kittens]

Hard Crap into underwear then mush ass around on floor

[Ferris]

state of this

[Spoon of Ploff]

Time to liven these stiffs suits up a bit.

Interact : fire hydrant. Vandalize with pocket knife in an attempt to create one of those water fountains that you always see in movies... do this for, I dunno, shits and giggles. Also it would be hilarious to have hard working office drones return to their ehh office all wet and dripping on their fax machines.

[Ferris]

Time to liven these stiffs suits up a bit.

Interact : fire hydrant. Vandalize with pocket knife in an attempt to create one of those water fountains that you always see in movies... do this for, I dunno, shits and giggles. Also it would be hilarious to have hard working office drones return to their ehh office all wet and dripping on their fax machines.

Roll 14 (+1 hotdog bonus)

You jab the knife into the hydrant valve and it fires out a high pressure jet of not-safe-for-human-consumption water right in your fizzog - aargh! Lucky for you, it also hits a load of nearby office workers who look completely defeated with their lot in life. Hilarious! Just like in The Office which you wrote (20 years ago)!

You're completely soaked, but you can probably make something out of the depressed people whose day you ruined - it won't be a laugh line but maybe that's because it's a serious bit and you could put Coldplay over the top and it would be sad if you don't think about it very hard. Know what? That'll do. Piece of piss, 3 bits of material in the bag!

The police you saw earlier are interested in your errant vandalism. They are coming to investigate the scene so you make a break for it, straight into the lobby of the MegaCorp building aka NotFlix HQ. It's so close you can taste the 3 series deal for whatever it is you've cobbled together. Just have to make it into their offices.

You see a crowd of people heading into the elevators in the building lobby you could talk to. There's a security guard you could ask (but you're soaking wet so might not make the best impression and in your current state he might stop you altogether), or you could sneak your way to the elevators yourself.

The clock is ticking! Next move?

[chveik]

stealth go to the elevators

[Ferris]

stealth go to the elevators

Roll 18 (+1)

Full success. You sneak past the security guard (and the wet angry office workers I was going to make you fight), and into the elevator. You jab the button for NotFlix and you're in! And not a minute too soon - the cowardly execs were getting worried they'd have to commission something new or interesting with the cash they should be giving you - disaster!

You meet with them, and they agree to NEGOTIATE.

Roll 7 (+1)

It's a deal for one low quality standup show and one series of bland sitcom. Not bad, but not the megadeal you were hoping for. The paparazzi on the way over (plus being soaking wet) probably ruined your chances of that, but it's still a good days work. You swallow back the shame of only making a few million, and resolve to search your name on twitter to make yourself feel better. Another day in the life!

Total rolls (including reroll): 20
Successful rolls: 10
Average roll: 12.5 (not bad)
Material generated: falling over while stealth wanking, sketch cut from first draft of Hello Ladies, soaking office workers with a fire hose for no reason (with sad piano music over the top)
Likely material rating: Derke Season 3
Asked to leave premises: twice
Combat rating: none (Kindness Is Magic achievement unlocked)
Player type: THE NEGOTIATOR
Overall rank: B-

Thanks for playing! It was fun to run. More combat next time please.

[Spoon of Ploff]

a roller coaster ride i'm sure we'll all agree

[H-O-W-L]

Summon Raol Moat with a chicken on a fishing line.