Author Topic: Snooker 2020  (Read 5086 times)

Blue Jam

  • The dump is my John Lewis
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #210 on: February 11, 2020, 09:42:25 PM »
Can't believe I missed this: Mark Williams becomes the first person in history to develop gout on a diet of kebabs and Haribo:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/snooker/51393975

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
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Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #211 on: February 11, 2020, 11:04:40 PM »
Would have loved to have a mate like that when I was 15. For getting my Threshers order in and that.

Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #212 on: February 11, 2020, 11:07:00 PM »
Quote
I have been on the tablets since Monday and now it is 10 times better. The doctor says it should clear up within the next couple of days."

Absolutely made up for him.

Blue Jam

  • The dump is my John Lewis
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #213 on: February 11, 2020, 11:13:50 PM »
Would have loved to have a mate like that when I was 15. For getting my Threshers order in and that.

Oh aye, I bet Mr Page was very popular at school. Lucky sod.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
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Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #214 on: February 12, 2020, 12:16:06 PM »
Gout, classic.

Bet he has piles and deformed turds too.

Blue Jam

  • The dump is my John Lewis
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #215 on: February 12, 2020, 01:18:10 PM »
Gout, classic.

Remember when Big Bill Werbeniuk won the Gout Classic in '83?

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #216 on: February 12, 2020, 06:40:24 PM »
2025 and ITV4s Snooker Gout Off final is subject to an 18 hour delay as Mark Allen receives spinal injections of rat hormones and 'special' Mars bars to allow him to stand at the table without screaming.

Rolf Lundgren

  • Remember you're a Womble
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #217 on: February 12, 2020, 11:33:01 PM »
Did Neil Robertson forget to pack his straighteners the other night or is that his new look?


Blue Jam

  • The dump is my John Lewis
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #218 on: February 13, 2020, 12:54:49 PM »
Forgot his hair straighteners, got the courier to deliver them to the wrong Cardiff.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #219 on: February 15, 2020, 07:29:48 AM »
Player most likely to farnt in the next 18 months:

John Higgins
Stuart Bingham
Mark Allen
Nigel Bond
Other (Please name)


Puce Moment

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Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #220 on: February 15, 2020, 05:59:25 PM »
Everyone's got fluffy hair for this tournament. Even Trump has managed to give his sad strands some dried out body.

Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #221 on: February 15, 2020, 09:59:54 PM »
Come on Yan mate

Blue Jam

  • The dump is my John Lewis
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #222 on: February 15, 2020, 11:29:27 PM »
Yes, GWAAAAAARN YAN, please gas out AIDS.

Would love to see Kylo win this overall though.

Blue Jam

  • The dump is my John Lewis
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #223 on: February 15, 2020, 11:36:14 PM »
Everyone's got fluffy hair for this tournament. Even Trump has managed to give his sad strands some dried out body.

AIDS is clearly using a lot of "product". Is there another one of God's children he wants to impress?

Blue Jam

  • The dump is my John Lewis
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #224 on: February 16, 2020, 03:09:42 PM »
Oh for fuck's sake... Come on Kylo, I don't want to see Tiny Face lift that big ol' slab of Welsh slate even if he could do with the exercise.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #225 on: February 16, 2020, 03:40:07 PM »
'Don't get many daaaays like this in your career'

Ray of sunshine Terry Griffiths there delivered in the manner of a priest giving the last rites.

Blue Jam

  • The dump is my John Lewis
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #226 on: February 16, 2020, 04:19:59 PM »

Blue Jam

  • The dump is my John Lewis
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #227 on: February 16, 2020, 04:30:01 PM »
The Kitten from Kettering looking extra sad-eyed now.

Blue Jam

  • The dump is my John Lewis
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #228 on: February 20, 2020, 12:57:28 PM »
That most Legend Gary of events, the Snooker Shootout, starts today.

Bet Ronnie wishes he'd bothered to enter the Masters now, bwahahaha. Nope, off you pop to Watford for your RAAANKING POINTS MAAAATE.

Blue Jam

  • The dump is my John Lewis
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #229 on: February 20, 2020, 01:28:07 PM »
Football chants and putting the lovely Desislava in a shiny polyester football shirt with "REFEREE" on the back? Oh fuck off Bazza.

Blue Jam

  • The dump is my John Lewis
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #230 on: February 20, 2020, 07:15:22 PM »
Hahaha, Kylo looks like a right scally in his sponsor's shirt.

I hope Marcel Eckhart isn't in Watford for this. I don't want to know what he looks like in a shiny football top. That would be like seeing Gilbert + George in tracksuits.

Also "blue ball shootout"- HUH HUH HUH.

Blue Jam

  • The dump is my John Lewis
Re: Snooker 2020
« Reply #231 on: Yesterday at 10:19:18 AM »
"SHOW US YER WIG! SHOW US YER HIGHLAND JIG!"

"C'MON SHANE WARNE!"

"C'MON THE HAIR TRANSPLANT!"

Alright, I'll admit the Legend Garys were pretty funny when Jimmy White was playing Matthew Stevens last night:

https://youtu.be/7Pthg19vADA

I hope TheMidnightShambler was watching, wherever he may be.

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