Main Menu

Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 08:31:18 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Snooker 2020

Started by dr beat, January 12, 2020, 01:45:00 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Flouncer

Carter the Unstoppable Shit Machine is 2-0 up against Higgins. They're both playing gash and giving each other plenty of chances but I'm finding it strangely compelling.

dr beat

Two visits, two cue ball fouls by Higgins.

Flouncer

There were four or five in-offs between them in that frame. Astounding.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Blue Jam

Quote from: Puce Moment on January 14, 2020, 12:48:19 PM
Wow, this tournament is a real cunt-off.

AIDS vs UKIP in the semis.

You weren't wrong.

druss

Quote from: Blue Jam on January 17, 2020, 09:14:01 AM
AIDS vs UKIP in the semis.

You weren't wrong.
First match ever where I'm hoping for AIDS.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Yeah AIDS getting done in the final will be more satisfying than Brexit getting done in the semi.

The fake sincerity defeat handshake and dough grin before sloping off to separate mammal parts with his wanking hand.

Blue Jam

Quote from: druss on January 17, 2020, 09:23:49 AM
First match ever where I'm hoping for AIDS.

Tiny Face vs Shit-Eating Grin? For once I think I'd rather see Murphy win, if only so I won't have to see Carter's evil smirk of victory.

Carter would probably just donate the winnings to the Big Ben Brexit Bongs crowdfunder anyway. AIDS would just spend it on Bibles and pies.

Puce Moment

That was one of the worst matches I have seen - probably since I was a kid. Higgins was all over the place, and I have started to wonder whether the pâté in his liver has started to leak out into his bloodstream giving him a kind of haggis, neeps and tatties septicemia.

Beaver vs Doughboy. I can't call it, but it would be nice for Carter to get completely smashed, just so we can see him start to lose his shit like Andy in The Office.

Blue Jam



Urrrggghhhh... this one definitely needs redoing:


Rolf Lundgren

Quote from: Puce Moment on January 17, 2020, 10:08:36 AM
That was one of the worst matches I have seen - probably since I was a kid. Higgins was all over the place, and I have started to wonder whether the pâté in his liver has started to leak out into his bloodstream giving him a kind of haggis, neeps and tatties septicemia.

I could feel the crowd, almost as one, check their phones as the clock neared 11 and play was held up because the scoreboard was wrong. At that point there was almost a genuine risk that the match could go on for another 3 hours.

Put some money on Wilson winning it but don't listen to me as all my other snooker bets have failed miserably this tournament. I'm not too fussed though as long as anyone this side of the draw wins.

Blue Jam

I'm hoping for Kylo Ren to emerge triumphant from a Kylo-AIDS final.

Haven't put any bets on since I put another fiver on James Cahill beating Ronnie a second time in the hope that lightning would strike twice. Ha.

Puce Moment

Quote from: Blue Jam on January 15, 2020, 04:18:51 PM

Uncanny though! They should use this for his Bazzer Shitlogo.

Puce Moment

Did anyone else hear the death groans of an old man during that match earlier? I wonder what happened to the poor fucker.

Anyway, good old BritishTeef triumphs over Scottish Mordid Obesity statistic. He played so fucking well. His cueing was amazing.

dr beat

Quote from: Puce Moment on January 17, 2020, 06:39:48 PM
Uncanny though! They should use this for his Bazzer Shitlogo.

Cats head superimposed on Adam Driver out of Star wars body.
It draws itself. No slacking now Blue Jam! ;)

Bazzer Shitlogo - what a great technical term.

Blue Jam

GWAAAAAARN KYLO

DO STUART "LOCAL" BINGHAM IN HERE

Blue Jam

Oh Kylo, you ledge from Kettering

druss

Bingham shouldn't be allowed the name "Ballrun". When combined with his appearance it is one notch down from sexual assault.

Blue Jam

Bingham's nickname should be "Precious Thing" or "Special Stuff".

Blue Jam

Seriously, this is match of the tournament so far. Cracking stuff.

shoulders

If there was a French player then Gaul-run. Maybe.

Puce Moment

Really enjoying this battle. Bingham is a real break builder but his cueing is off this evening.

kidney

I think I just saw Stuart Bingham commit to leisurely jogging around the table

shoulders

Quote from: druss on January 17, 2020, 07:33:46 PM
Bingham shouldn't be allowed the name "Ballrun". When combined with his appearance it is one notch down from sexual assault.

Half a notch at most.

Ballgag looks like the kind of person who loves meticulously applying cream to a gaping anus. Whether sexually or for ointment. And thinks of himself as 'the best at it'.

BlodwynPig

Did i miss the world championship. Took me a while to realise this wasnt the big one.

Blue Jam

This must be the first time I have actually wanted to see amphibian spacehopper Bingham lift a trophy.

Blue Jam

...and right now I actually want to see AIDS Murphy gas out UKIP Nathan Barley.

Puce Moment

Yeah, it's been fun watching the right-wing ferret gurning his way earnestly through this competition. But his time is up, and I don't want him getting a big head. Time for AIDS to put the Bigot of the Baize back in his box.

After that, I can't really say I have a favourite. Perhaps Gilbert would be a good story, but whatever happens this tournament has proved that we don't need Rankiiiin' Ronnie around.

Blue Jam

Ignore the earlier post- I forgot Spacehopper Amphibian was playing Gilbert's Fridge tonight. Would be nice to see Gilbo lift the trophy. Anyone but AIDS and UKIP really.