Main Menu

Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 02:37:56 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Snooker 2020

Started by dr beat, January 12, 2020, 01:45:00 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Flouncer

Murphy's not really his usual self at the start of this match. This is the first time I've actually watched him play this tournament so I don't know what he was like in earlier rounds, but his concentration seems a bit poor and he unfathomably wasted a load of time at the end of the first frame, knocking the blue about for three snookers he was never going to get. 2-0 down now. Carter seems pretty solid so AIDS really needs to get his shit together or he's going to find himself looking at a big deficit at the interval.

Flouncer

Oh dear! Sharter loses his bottle on the brown to go 5-2 up. AIDS pulls it back to 4-3; he's gone out of the arena, leaving Ali to stew - he looks fucking furious!

Puce Moment

Imagine how the bogs in the players changing rooms smell by the end of the tournament. Fucking state. Dried splatter all up the back of the porcelain. Hammer and chisel job. Dries like Weetabix.

Flouncer

AIDS crashes out with no deal. Captain Brexit forges on.

Blue Jam

Carter Beats The Devil

Flouncer

Ballbag is 2-0 up. Looking really confident. We're really going to find out what's in Gilbert's fridge tonight.

Blue Jam

The only good thing about UKIP Carter lifting the trophy would be seeing how angry it makes Ronnie.

I do hope he's on pundit duties on Eurosport tomorrow.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Puce Moment on January 18, 2020, 04:32:06 PM
Imagine how the bogs in the players changing rooms smell by the end of the tournament. Fucking state. Dried splatter all up the back of the porcelain. Hammer and chisel job. Dries like Weetabix.

When Dr Beat and I were planning this year's trip to  Sheffield we did consider staying in the Mercure, thinking it might be a laugh to get that immersed in the whole snooker safari, bumping into players in the lift etc. Then we imagined a nightmare scenario where Shaun Murphy got the wrong room and found his keycard opened our door and we were woken up at 2am by the disgusting realisation that he was using our toilet and decided to stay elsewhere.

Hearing John Parrott really laying into AIDS in the commentary earlier was funny, especially after we'd spotted AIDS swaggering over to JP in the Mercure bar back in April and trying to be all pally with him when the guy clearly just wanted a quiet drink with his wife. Bwahahaha.

BlodwynPig

This is atrocious - i could give these two a game

Blue Jam

Stuart Bingham: WASP MURDERER

Blue Jam

Quote from: Blue Jam on January 13, 2020, 05:39:32 PM
Also I'm calling The Curse Of The Crappy Little Triple Crown Iron-On Patch before anyone else does.

Told ya

druss

Quote from: Blue Jam on January 18, 2020, 08:07:53 PM
The only good thing about UKIP Carter lifting the trophy would be seeing how angry it makes Ronnie.

I do hope he's on pundit duties on Eurosport tomorrow.
Yeah. I never want Sharter to win a thing, but the fact he was Ronnie's replacement, at Ronnie's most successful home tournament, and that Ronnie hates him makes it bearable. Should have turned up, Ron. Twat.

shoulders

QuoteAsked how sweet it would be to win the title having replaced O'Sullivan, Carter replied: "It would be pretty sweet. I have lost twice in the final at Sheffield to Ronnie so maybe the writing is on the wall.

"I have done a couple of interviews in the Eurosport studio [where O'Sullivan is working as a pundit] and I said, 'Thanks Ron', to him

What a dismal little arse wipe Sharter the unstoppable Brex machine is.

Blue Jam

I hope Bingham wipes the shit-eating smirk off Sharter's face today. I hope he destroys him just like he destroyed that wasp.

shoulders

Being beaten at anything by Bellwrung Bingham must be the worst feeling in the world. Like having a truck filled with slurry emptied over your soul.

jobotic

Is Bingham actually a bad man or is it all based on his unfortunate boat race?

Blue Jam

Quote from: jobotic on January 19, 2020, 01:23:56 PM
Is Bingham actually a bad man or is it all based on his unfortunate boat race?

Bingham comes across well in interviews to be fair, and I haven't checked his Twitter (is he even on there?) but I have no reason to believe he's a big Brexity meff. He does look pretty unfortunate though, poor sod.

Anyway, come on Bingham, GET BREXIT DONE

Flouncer

Someone in the audience is ripping off massive farts now.

Blue Jam

I think the whoopee cushion smuggler put both Bingham and UKIP off their stride there.

Brexit Barley getting a bit cocky. I hope that ends up being his undoing.

imitationleather

Just got in and turned it on. Bingham is wearing a tie?!??!

EDIT: They're both wearing ties? The game's gone.

It also makes UKIP look like he's going to a karaoke night and takes crooning out Rat Pack tunes very seriously.

Blue Jam

...while his girlfriend sings Knees Up Mother Brown.

Blue Jam

Ally Pally is Gary Central tonight.

BlodwynPig

Just turned this on

Awful shit again

pigamus

Fucking dogshit ennit

Embarrassing


BlodwynPig

Yup. Especially given the efforts to build it up with all the jizzmatazz.

Where's bullrun's triple crown badge?

BlodwynPig

Bingham back to journeyman. Fucking hell.


Blue Jam

Brexit Barley refusing to look at the table again.

Bigger bell than Big Ben.

imitationleather

Bingham reeks of a champion.

Flouncer

Carter's a born loser.