Happy Birthday, Lisa Jesusandmarychain!

[Cerys]

_{I turn 53 tomorrow, for fuck's sake}

Many happy returns, an' all that.

[bgmnts]

Lisa Jesusandmarychain its your birthday.
Happy birthday Lisa Jesusandmarychain
Lisa Jesusandmarychain its your birthday
Happy birthday Lisa Jesusandmarychain.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain its your birthday
God bless you this day
You gave me the gift of a funny poster
And i'm proud of you today

[Bronzy]

old fucking cunt

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Happy birthday darling. Stick a finger up your bottom to celebrate.

[Default to the negative]

Naked Lisa lay, clasped in my longing arms,
I filled with love, and she all over charms;
Both equally inspired with eager fire,
Melting through kindness, flaming in desire.
With arms, legs, lips close clinging to embrace,
She clips me to her breast, and sucks me to her face.

Her nimble tongue, love's lesser lightning, played
Within my mouth, and to my thoughts conveyed
Swift orders that I should prepare to throw
The all-dissolving thunderbolt below.
My fluttering soul, sprung with the pointed kiss,
Hangs hovering o'er her balmy brinks of bliss.
But whilst her busy hand would guide that part
Which should convey my soul up to her heart,
In liquid raptures I dissolve all o'er,
Melt into sperm, and spend at every pore.
A touch from any part of her had done 't:
Her hand, her foot, her very look's a cunt.

Smiling, she chides in a kind murmuring noise,
And from her body wipes the clammy joys,
When, with a thousand kisses wandering o'er
My panting bosom, "Is there then no more?"
She cries. "All this to love and rapture's due;
Must we not pay a debt to pleasure too?"

But I, the most forlorn, lost man alive,
To show my wished obedience vainly strive:
I sigh, alas! and kiss, but cannot swive.
Eager desires confound my first intent,
Succeeding shame does more success prevent,
And rage at last confirms me impotent.
Ev'n her fair hand, which might bid heat return
To frozen age, and make cold hermits burn,
Applied to my dear cinder, warms no more
Than fire to ashes could past flames restore.
Trembling, confused, despairing, limber, dry,
A wishing, weak, unmoving lump I lie.
This dart of love, whose piercing point, oft tried,
With virgin blood ten thousand maids has dyed,
Which nature still directed with such art
That it through every cunt reached every heart—
Stiffly resolved, 'twould carelessly invade
Woman or man, nor ought its fury stayed:
Where'er it pierced, a cunt it found or made—
Now languid lies in this unhappy hour,
Shrunk up and sapless like a withered flower.

Thou treacherous, base deserter of my flame,
False to my passion, fatal to my fame,
Through what mistaken magic dost thou prove
So true to lewdness, so untrue to love?
What oyster-cinder-beggar-common whore
Didst thou e'er fail in all thy life before?
When vice, disease, and scandal lead the way,
With what officious haste doest thou obey!
Like a rude, roaring hector in the streets
Who scuffles, cuffs, and justles all he meets,
But if his king or country claim his aid,
The rakehell villain shrinks and hides his head;
Ev'n so thy brutal valor is displayed,
Breaks every stew, does each small whore invade,
But when great Love the onset does command,
Base recreant to thy prince, thou dar'st not stand.
Worst part of me, and henceforth hated most,
Through all the town a common fucking post,
On whom each whore relieves her tingling cunt
As hogs on gates do rub themselves and grunt,
Mayst thou to ravenous chancres be a prey,
Or in consuming weepings waste away;
May strangury and stone thy days attend;
May'st thou never piss, who didst refuse to spend
When all my joys did on false thee depend.

   And may ten thousand abler pricks agree
   To do the Lisamarychain right for thee.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Parklife!

[Glebe]

Happy Birthday man!

[Jockice]

Love from me and my girlfriend Jodie Comer.

[sirhenry]

Real birthday or just your official one?

[Small Man Big Horse]

Happy Birthday Lisa, I hope today is filled with happiness and joy and - ah, wait a minute, wrong Lisa, sorry, I hope it's filled with drunken women who insert their tongues in to your (that's quite enough of that - Ed).

[Jodie Comer]

Love from me and my girlfriend Jodie Comer.

Love from me and my boyfriend Jockice.

[Barry Admin]

Happy birthday ya shitter.

[Ray Travez]

Happy Birthday ya big bollocks!

[Buelligan]

Yes indeed, happy birthday dear Lisa!

[madhair60]

I hope you don't die this year

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I'm just stepping in at this early stage to let all the boys and girls on CaB know that I've seen this page, and am glad of the sentiments ( especially bronzy's). Doubtless by the end of the day, this thread will be nudging the 100 page mark, and I'll be coming on again to say " ta". Also, if anyone wants to put up a picture of Her Who Plays Villanelle looking glam, well  I won't stand in your way. As you were.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Speaking of Miss Comer, she's in that Morrissey biopic on Netflix that I can't remember the name of. I believe she says the words "cock" and "tits" on at least one occasion, which I'm sure Lisa will appreciate.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Speaking of Miss Comer, she's in that Morrissey biopic on Netflix that I can't remember the name of. I believe she says the words "cock" and "tits" on at least one occasion, which I'm sure Lisa will appreciate.

England Is Mine.

Says " twat", too ( as in " cheeky twat!" , as she berates the young Mozzer). A grand performance, two thumbs up from me ( not going to write anything else referring to thumbs up, it'd be a shame to have another comment removed by Neil).

[chveik]

happy birthday Lisa!

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Well, not quite 100 pages....cheers, then.

[Default to the negative]

What have you done to earn 100 pages, or even 1 page? Nothing. You need to raise your game if you think we're all going to be dancing and fawning about you.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Bloody Hell, steady on, mate.

[Default to the negative]

That might have sounded overly hostile. I meant it as a joke. A jolly birthday joke.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Yeah, no worries. The jolly birthday joke was appreciated although I would have preferred that picture of Her Who Plays Villanelle In the red dress, showing her norks off.

[Dex Sawash]

Didn't want to join the pile-on. I hope today is good too.

[Bennett Brauer]

Hi Lisa, sorry I had to leave your birthday party so soon.

Hope you don't mind me posting the photo I took while I was there.

[PlanktonSideburns]

happy birthday lisa, i enjoy your posts

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

happy birthday lisa, i enjoy your posts

I enjoy yours too, am genuinely glad that you posted in 'ere, am now going directly to the " Orbvious Things You Should Really Have Fucking Noticed, You Hapless, Badger Stabbing Cunt" thread, as the " Community" reference in your username dawns on me ( thanks to BB, too).

[PlanktonSideburns]

I enjoy yours too, am genuinely glad that you posted in 'ere, am now going directly to the " Orbvious Things You Should Really Have Fucking Noticed, You Hapless, Badger Stabbing Cunt" thread, as the " Community" reference in your username dawns on me ( thanks to BB, too).

community, like the tv show? ive not seen it