This Candle Smells Like My Vagina

[Pinball]

Isn't a candle a bit, um, phallic? Maybe she could produce an ash-tray or somesuch?

[Beagle 2]

I'm interested in buying one but only if she changes the name to GWYNNOS FANNY CANDLE

[Buelligan]

I know.

[Dewt]

Didn't even have the wit to make it smell of her tits so she could call it a Candle-à-la-bra

[Dex Sawash]

Something something the box it came in

[Bazooka]

Its good for people who are not keen on the stench of their partners bits, just light the candle and drip the hot wax all over, broken relationship fixed in an instance.

[Blumf]

Surely the scent of Gwyneth Paltrow's mimsy must be beige. Beige like her ex's music. Beige like a 40 year old accountant. Beige like a no spice Nando's chicken.

A subtle whiff of beige.

[Default to the negative]

It probably smells like a bag of prawns out of Farmfoods. Totally insipid, but with just that hint of flavour to make you imagine and hope for something better.

[pigamus]

If a bloke were that good a hustler people would marvel at his nous. I don't like her, but I must confess to a sneaking admiration.

[Kryton]

'Oof what's that pong mate?'
'I'm afraid that's the smell of Gwyneth Paltrow's growler'.
'Ah right so it is'.

[Sebastian Cobb]

'Oof what's that pong mate?'
'I'm afraid that's the smell of Gwyneth Paltrow's growler'.
'Ah right so it is'.

eat it daz

[MiddleRabbit]

Is Gwyneth's twat candle still a candle if it doesn't have a wick in it?  Right in it, mind.

[idunnosomename]

fuck gwyneth paltrow's cunt candle

[thecuriousorange]

I wish they would bring back tags. Something about an Elton John/Kurt Cobain duet.

[Buelligan]

Fucking hell, do you not read posts or have you got me on ignore again?

[thecuriousorange]

The first one.

[Buelligan]

Right.  I'm putting you on ignore.

[Pingers]

He says you can shove a candle up your chuff

[Buelligan]

Reported.

[Pingers]

She says she does that anyway so it hardly counts as an insult, you imbécile

[Fabian Thomsett]

She could just buy some more batteries.

[Dewt]

Would like to be allowed into a Goop store just to pick up the display model, sniff it and exclaim to the room "It does! It smells like Gwyneth Paltrow's cunt!"

[Buelligan]

Do they have Goop stores?  It sounds a bit proletarian.  Goop can probably only be bought if you're invited up to some minor fucking dalai's place for a little social do, have some bancha and do a few stretches, like a Tuperware party for cunt FBPE silk's wives and life partners.  That sort of thing.

[Pingers]

This is more my budget



Also: sweaty minge. Mmmmm.

[Butchers Blind]

How do we know that the candle scent is actually that of Gwynnies down belows?  Could be any ladies foo foo smell.  The only way is to be tested on live TV like on Lorraine.  Mrs Kelly would have to get on her knees and have a really good sniff of Paltrow's lady garden and the give the thumbs up or down comparing it to the minge candle.

[poodlefaker]

Do they have Goop stores?  It sounds a bit proletarian. 

Go-op. If you collect enough stamps you can get a set of wine glasses or a hair drier

[drummersaredeaf]

Isn't a candle a bit, um, phallic? Maybe she could produce an ash-tray or somesuch?

How do you think she makes them?

[idunnosomename]

Maybe her growler smells like an extinguished birthday cake

[drummersaredeaf]

They all do by...

[Dewt]

Do they have Goop stores?  It sounds a bit proletarian.  Goop can probably only be bought if you're invited up to some minor fucking dalai's place for a little social do, have some bancha and do a few stretches, like a Tuperware party for cunt FBPE silk's wives and life partners.  That sort of thing.

I was going to say "oh you have no idea" but from your description it's clear that you have the exact idea.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Vk28kbeddo