Dirty Fries

[DrGreggles]

After the success of last year's 'Chilli Off', our Superbowl Sunday eating competition this year is Dirty Fries.
When did this become a 'thing'?
I recall being appalled by the notion of cheesy chips when I was at University (an opinion I maintain), but I suppose it's not too far stretched from curry/peas/etc.

Anyway, any suggestions of how I can win?

[greenman]

Covered in polonium?

[Icehaven]

Don't choke.

[Brian Freeze]

I know how to make them really dirty. But I'm not sure you'd get an invite to the next party.

[drummersaredeaf]

Why are cheesy chips alternatively prole food - or the obsession of students who love cheese and have it on everything (but only Cathedral City) - and therefore dogshit, but cheese on a jacket potato is par for the course. Perfectly acceptable.

Is it because I'm a hypocrite with too many bizarre petty prejudices to list?

[king_tubby]

There's a kebab place near us that does what they call 'loaded street cart fries'. They fucking rule and I've recreated them pretty well at home.

So, get your fries, I'll assume you've got some oven fries or something. Cook them.

Finely chop a red onion in semi circular slices, and marinate in red wine vinegar with a tiny bit of sugar and smoked paprika.

Grate some carrot and marinate in lemon juice, with a little salt.

Prepare you topping - this place does standard donner (might be a little hard to source), chicken kebab (chunks of chicken marinaded in whatever you fancy, I'd recommend yoghurt, garlic, chilli, paprika, lemon juice, that kind of thing), falafel (buy from a shop, pita to make your own), sliced halloumi (easy peasy) or vegan donner 'meat' (I can get this in Asda, of all places). Or mix and match!

Mix some mayo with your hot sauce of choice.

Chop up some pickled cucumbers and jalapenos.

Combine! And add anything else, garlic mayo, more hot sauce, different pickles, crumbled feta - whatever you've got.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

After too many gloopy vegan junk food dishes from street stalls recently I've gone off hyper awful-for you stuff like this.

Just the supermarket own brand Bran Flakes on their own in an outhouse for me.

[imitationleather]

I had some cheese and jalapeno fries and thought it was horrible. Liquid cheese soaking the fries. Fucking urgh.

May have just been that this particular place was shit, I guess.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I don't understand what you're even on about. Superbowl Sunday eating competition? Dirty fries?

[Paul Calf]

Why are cheesy chips alternatively prole food - or the obsession of students who love cheese and have it on everything (but only Cathedral City) - and therefore dogshit, but cheese on a jacket potato is par for the course. Perfectly acceptable.

Is it because I'm a hypocrite with too many bizarre petty prejudices to list?

Chips are deep fried. Anything involving a chip pan is infra infra darling.

[Paul Calf]

I wonder whether that's a reliable indicator of working class origins: did your family have and use a chip pan?

[king_tubby]

Middle class as fuck and we had one. Though both my parents started off as working class.

[drummersaredeaf]

Chip pan checks out in that case.

We had one, and I'm the gauchest of the gauche. Get put away when there are visitors.

[idunnosomename]

loaded dirty grave

[DrGreggles]

I don't understand what you're even on about. Superbowl Sunday eating competition? Dirty fries?

GET WITH THE NOW, GRANDAD!

Whatever that means...

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I wonder whether that's a reliable indicator of working class origins: did your family have and use a chip pan?

We had a deep fat fryer, but it was used exclusively for chips. What class is that?

[Better Midlands]

This doesn't look good for poutine

[Butchers Blind]

Chips and gravy from the local chinese take away.

[Small Man Big Horse]

You should try cooking the fries in the oven, and when they've about five minutes to go coat them in marmite.

[pancreas]

You should try cooking the fries in the oven, and when they've about five minutes to go coat them in marmite.

I hope this is a depraved joke. It isn't funny in any case and you should have a word with yourself.

[Bronzy]

I cum in them

[sick as a pike]

I wonder whether that's a reliable indicator of working class origins: did your family have and use a chip pan?

My parents had working class roots (their parents: truck driver, milliner, machine tool operator, laundry worker (I think)). They then morphed into the aspirational middle class- both teachers, members of the National Front Trust etc. I remember there was a chip pan in the house but I'm not sure I ever saw it being used. Maybe one day they realised they'd outgrown it and it was ceremoniously concealed in the cupboard behind a stack of Daily Telegraphs.

[idunnosomename]

Waiter waiter what's this soil doing on my chips?

GRAVE, SIR

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Fries of Colour

[Blue Jam]

Waiter waiter what's this soil doing on my chips?

GRAVE, SIR

Get in gravy

[Twit 2]

SORZ UN SALLLAAAHH YER FRIES MAAAY?

[Blinder Data]

"What would you like your dirty fries LOADED with?"

"Hmm, CUNTS please"

[Captain Z]

Grubby chips

[seepage]

I wonder whether that's a reliable indicator of working class origins: did your family have and use a chip pan?

yes, permanently filled with LARD. Everything cooked in lovely LARD.

[GMTV]

NASTY