Hat full of drugs

[Dewt]

I came home happy today because stuffed in my hat were three of the four Adderall capsules I was able to score, the other merrily distributing itself to my body from its final resting place in my belly.

Over the past two years it has become clear that I cannot function without taking Adderall. I've never had it prescribed to me, but the dose I take is a normal prescription dose. It's just that I'm not supposed to be taking it. Or rather, nobody has authorised me to. Maybe a medical professional would think it's a good idea.

The difference between me with Adderall and without is stark. I am able to work to my potential, something that has plagued me my entire life (I was constantly spoken to at school due to high IQ scores but utter lack of work or attendance). My work life is hell, for legitimate reasons but perhaps primarily because without Adderall I can only work in a burst of about 1 hour of actual work per week. I just cannot get over the huge getting started hurdle. It's like getting out of bed with depression. Speaking of depression, Adderall cures mine. If I am on Adderall, I am not depressed. I have survived until age 35 based on being good at certain things and being able to just about get away with doing less work than I should. If I look at the large software product I've been working on for the past three years, I can identify that 90% of it was written on the 5% of time I was on Adderall.

Do I legitimately have ADHD? Does that above sound like that's what it is, or am I just riding sporadic prescription meth highs when I think Adderall fixes me?

I should talk to the doctor now I have health insurance^*? Or am I just trying to legitmise scoring drugs? Would blood tests show that I have taken Adderall that I shouldn't have taken, and if so how long should I wait?

I thought that ADHD doesn't apply to me, because I'm quite chill. My values are that slow, focused things are the best things. It's not like I think "ooh puppies!" whenever I try to concentrate on something, it's just that I cannot settle down and start doing anything I need to do. The energy needed to do that is immense... unless I'm taking the drug. I've recently heard that's what ADHD is for some people...

_{* Good time to make a point about the NHS: even on a good income I have had zero access to healthcare for a full year.  Protect your damn NHS}

[Dewt]

And what of Vyvanse?

[hamfist]

Hot Chip follow up album

[idunnosomename]

Another Smiths best of

[Famous Mortimer]

I wouldn't worry too much, as adderall only stays in the system for 4-7 days: https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/adderall-addiction/faq/how-long-does-adderall-stay-in-system/#gref

Now you can afford to go to the doctor, might as well go. Although it's not had any bad effect on you yet, there might be some reason you shouldn't take it. God knows. But I hope you get sorted, anyway.

[PlanktonSideburns]

What is adder all?  Like watered down meth?

I have similar motivation problems these days also, is there a UK version?

[Dewt]

I wouldn't worry too much, as adderall only stays in the system for 4-7 days: https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/adderall-addiction/faq/how-long-does-adderall-stay-in-system/#gref

Now you can afford to go to the doctor, might as well go. Although it's not had any bad effect on you yet, there might be some reason you shouldn't take it. God knows. But I hope you get sorted, anyway.

Thanks for the link, I was getting mixed messages about the 90 day thing being for blood/urine tests too. Which wouldn't make sense, thinking about it.

What is adder all?  Like watered down meth?

I've never had full-strength meth but day one of taking it is very much what I think cocaine is like. You feel like you could do anything, all of your potential is unlocked, really nice. It might just be the contrast of being functional after a long run of not. After a few days of taking it regularly you don't get that same intense rush but the pain of doing tasks is removed. You can get started on things like other people seem to be able to do naturally.

Coming off it is a day of guaranteed depression.

(all of the above being my personal experience, I'm sure it differs wildly)

[PlanktonSideburns]

Sound a bit too hairy for me actually, thanks for the info tho!

[oy vey]

From someone with adhd it sounds like it but online diagnoses are worth the paper they are written on. I wouldn't just cut off adderall - taper off it slowly (same as SSIDs) but before that go to a doc. Gabor Mate's book Scattered Minds is also excellent on the subject.

[Lord Mandrake]

What is adder all?  Like watered down meth?

I have similar motivation problems these days also, is there a UK version?

Probably Sudafed if you have enough.

[Harry Badger]

This is the stuff that Trump snorts isn't it? Might give it a whirl

[imitationleather]

This is the stuff that Trump snorts isn't it? Might give it a whirl

Good luck getting genuine adderall in the UK. :(

[JesusAndYourBush]

Yardbirds first drafts.

[Bence Fekete]

Coming off it is a day of guaranteed depression.

This?

The overall question is too subjective. One man's rock bottom is another's Saturday Night.

I think there probably is a drug/pharm-use equalibria out there for all of us. It might be for you. I don't trust things that make me feel significantly worse afterwards as a rule but that hasn't stopped me taking them occassionaly. the nervous system yearns to transcend.

I would be wary of fakes but I reckon you're on top of that.   

[Dewt]

Yeah. My supply is just bumming some off somebody who forgets to take a dose every now and then. It's not the black market or anything. But it does mean that it is extremely sporadic. I get about ten days every two months if I'm lucky.

[Barry Admin]

I thought of going down this route myself, many times, but resisted. Suppose I've just accepted that I'm a scatterbrain who can't even sit down to watch a TV show or film anymore.

[Paul Calf]

What is adder all?  Like watered down meth?

I have similar motivation problems these days also, is there a UK version?

Socially-approved speed. Drugs that make happy consumers and docile workers. Drugs that make you more boring and less cool. Fitter, happier, more productive.

They change the reward mechanisms of your brain in ways that aren't really fully understood.

[Buelligan]

The thing that made me able to force myself to apply my brain and body to endless thankless work is poverty.  Completely free, which is handy, and you don't even need a prescription.  Although the side effects are horrendous.  Having no money at all and no chance of anyone, including the state, taking care of you is an amazing motivator.

As Paul opines, maybe this adderal is the modern way of controlling and motivating the workers.  Better than poverty because they can charge you for it.  And I agree with Bence, I'd run a mile and pass a pee test after, to avoid any substance that made me feel noticeably worse in the comedown after taking it but that's just me.  I echo everyone who's advised a visit to the old doctor.

Also, can I suggest to anyone considering carrying contraband, plain sight is always, always, the way to go.  Few little weirdies in your pocket or bag, not that interesting, hide them in your hat, immediately interesting.  That's science for you if you're planning on sticking it to the Man.

[Dewt]

Wasn't really hiding them, it's just a good place to transport pills.

[ZoyzaSorris]

I came home happy today because stuffed in my hat were three of the four Adderall capsules I was able to score, the other merrily distributing itself to my body from its final resting place in my belly.

Over the past two years it has become clear that I cannot function without taking Adderall. I've never had it prescribed to me, but the dose I take is a normal prescription dose. It's just that I'm not supposed to be taking it. Or rather, nobody has authorised me to. Maybe a medical professional would think it's a good idea.

The difference between me with Adderall and without is stark. I am able to work to my potential, something that has plagued me my entire life (I was constantly spoken to at school due to high IQ scores but utter lack of work or attendance). My work life is hell, for legitimate reasons but perhaps primarily because without Adderall I can only work in a burst of about 1 hour of actual work per week. I just cannot get over the huge getting started hurdle. It's like getting out of bed with depression. Speaking of depression, Adderall cures mine. If I am on Adderall, I am not depressed. I have survived until age 35 based on being good at certain things and being able to just about get away with doing less work than I should. If I look at the large software product I've been working on for the past three years, I can identify that 90% of it was written on the 5% of time I was on Adderall.

Do I legitimately have ADHD? Does that above sound like that's what it is, or am I just riding sporadic prescription meth highs when I think Adderall fixes me?

I should talk to the doctor now I have health insurance^*? Or am I just trying to legitmise scoring drugs? Would blood tests show that I have taken Adderall that I shouldn't have taken, and if so how long should I wait?

I thought that ADHD doesn't apply to me, because I'm quite chill. My values are that slow, focused things are the best things. It's not like I think "ooh puppies!" whenever I try to concentrate on something, it's just that I cannot settle down and start doing anything I need to do. The energy needed to do that is immense... unless I'm taking the drug. I've recently heard that's what ADHD is for some people...

_{* Good time to make a point about the NHS: even on a good income I have had zero access to healthcare for a full year.  Protect your damn NHS}

Sounds very similar story to me. I have now got 60mg Vyvanse - lisdexamfetamine - a day (20mg dexamphetamine in a form your body slowly metabolises over approx 12 hours) and it is very effective indeed.

From what I gather a fair few people prefer Vyvanse because it is effectively just the right handed isomer d-amphetamine. Thuis is active in your brain and not peripheral nervous system whereas Adderall also contains l-amphetamine too which is mainly active in your body and therefore has a bit of a dirtier 'street speed' edge to it. Vyvanse is harder to abuse (can't snort it or stick up your arse) though which may be a problem for some.

I found it very effective for making me able to function. Just a tool in the box though. As with all psychoactive compounds it loses effectiveness over time as your body adapts so really have to take breaks.

Much tho I love em I wouldn't listen to Paul and Buelligan's input which really amounts to the old favourite 'pull yourself together'. If you don't have some kind of executive function disorder then you don't understand.

Far from being some zombified peon of the man an improvement in focus has really helped me actually massively increase my productivity in my own creative and political endeavours.

[ZoyzaSorris]

What is adder all?  Like watered down meth?

I have similar motivation problems these days also, is there a UK version?

It's basically just pharmaceutical grade amphetamine which was a medicine before it became 'street speed'. Fell out of favour due to danger of addiction and abuse but has come back into vogue in controlled doses as a treatment for executive function disorders like ADHD.

Main UK equivalent is Elvanse (european brand name for Vyvanse) which is dextroamphetamine modified for slow release to reduce abuse risk. It has become NHS favoured ADHD treatment over methylphenidate (Ritalin) as seems to be more effective with less side effects in most. Feels very clean to me.

[Dewt]

Sounds very similar story to me. I have now got 60mg Vyvanse - lisdexamfetamine - a day (20mg dexamphetamine in a form your body slowly metabolises over approx 12 hours) and it is very effective indeed.

From what I gather a fair few people prefer Vyvanse because it is effectively just the right handed isomer d-amphetamine. Thuis is active in your brain and not peripheral nervous system whereas Adderall also contains l-amphetamine too which is mainly active in your body and therefore has a bit of a dirtier 'street speed' edge to it. Vyvanse is harder to abuse (can't snort it or stick up your arse) though which may be a problem for some.

I found it very effective for making me able to function. Just a tool in the box though. As with all psychoactive compounds it loses effectiveness over time as your body adapts so really have to take breaks.

Much tho I love em I wouldn't listen to Paul and Buelligan's input which really amounts to the old favourite 'pull yourself together'. If you don't have some kind of executive function disorder then you don't understand.

Far from being some zombified peon of the man an improvement in focus has really helped me actually massively increase my productivity in my own creative and political endeavours.

Thanks for this, you have no idea of the value.

The idea that Adderall is designed to turn people into worker drones for the man is uninformed, and just a self-satisfied conclusion in search of evidence, really. Anybody with the least bit of experience would understand how it frees people stuck in unpleasant loops to apply themselves to their own interests.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

The Go Betweens consider radio airplay friendly rewrite.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Right I'm confused now. Do I take performance enhancing drugs or do I pull myself together?

Ooh - what would happen......if I did both?

[Dewt]

I read a description of it being like you're impotent, but for doing tasks. You really want to do things but you can't get it up. You can do all of the things that are easy, like watching YouTube videos or eating or whatever, but it's difficult to hump the things that really need to be fucked.

[PlanktonSideburns]

sounds very familiar - love the idea that i can drug my way out of this

[phantom_power]

Drugs that make you more boring and less cool.

I find that hard to believe

[Cardenio I]

Socially-approved speed. Drugs that make happy consumers and docile workers. Drugs that make you more boring and less cool. Fitter, happier, more productive.

They change the reward mechanisms of your brain in ways that aren't really fully understood.

This is a shit take and kind of nasty, in its way.

I've been wondering if I might be ADDled myself, your opening post pretty much describes my experience (sans the adderall). Is it common to get diagnosed with this in adulthood?

[oy vey]

^
Very common. Gabor Mate, who's book I mentioned above was diagnosed in his 50s.

[Cardenio I]

Gabor Mate.
Gabor that.
Gabor.