Crying Every Day Since November 29th (2019)

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I'm sure I'll stop one day. I managed to fly back to Moscow. I cry at the end of the evening when I kiss her beautiful, carefree face in the framed photograph, in which she is also giving me a respectful sibling kiss. The photograph was taken in her house, on the occasion of my mum's 70th birthday. She had a really nice house, a loving husband ( now devastated widower), and two top cats ( having actual children was biologically a no- no for her). She took the trouble to " like" my Facebook photos, telling me I looked well, even as she was seeing out her last days in Johnny Vegas Partly Financed Hospice. She even made the effort to tease me about my liking for Her Who Plays Villanelle. She acknowledged my presence at her bedside, and my acknowledgement of her top stylish t- shirt. Then she went. Which was not remotely fair. Because I loved her. And all my family loved her. And her husband definitely loved her. Not fair. Not remotely. I loved her, and still love her. This forum helped me to get through the immediate aftermath of her demise . I ( and my family, and her devoted husband) will never * really* get over it. But we'll go on. And there will come a time, at some point, when I will get through a day without crying. And this forum will have helped me to do that. Thank You.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

You're welcome.

[Cerys]

Have a Huge Welsh Hug.  Only please don't get snot in my hair.

[Ambient Sheep]

Big hugs, and take care of yourself mate.

[Glebe]

Massive hugs man, crikey. No idea what's going on in people's lives... take care of yourself L.

[Buelligan]

Oh dear Lisa, you are right, you will get through and it will get possible to just be Lisa and keep all the good stuff about her and manage the pain.  I promise you this.  Huge hugs you fucker.

[bgmnts]

This may be a joke post but I find myself crying at least every few day. I usually do it in the shower or in my room to hide it but it is interesting. I thought I accepted my lot in life but my body says otherwise. Stay strong Lisa.

[Jockice]

Oh shit mate. I have several friends who have lost siblings (my girlfriend is one of them. In fact that sort of led to us getting together) and it's just horrible. There's not a lot I can add but just hope you're coping as well as possible.

[Brundle-Fly]

Take care mate. She knew she was loved and would want you all to be happy. It'll take forever but that's all you can do for her now.

[jobotic]

It will get easier and then you can have the guilt that comes with it getting easier!

Hasn't happened to me but one of my friends died suddenly three years ago and I've seen his family and how they deal with it. The grief doesn't go but the clouds do part and its not there always.

[MissInformed]

I'm so sorry for your loss. As someone who has lost a partner, suddenly and in traumatic fashion, I can tell you that at some point you will get through the day without crying. But later that evening when you realise you have done that - you'll cry because of that.

And then you will have days when you dont cry at all, (even when you realise) and the next day you will be in floods. There is a huge period of adjustment. This kind of loss is life-changing.

I know right now it feels liek nothing will ever be normal again. I'm here to confirm that it wont be. But you will all find your new normal, eventually.

Again - so sorry.

[Glebe]

Sorry to hear about that MissInformed. We're all touched by loss and sadness at some point, but it's a huge victory against the misery of this bastard, grind-you-down world if you can manage to get through it and find some degree of peace and happiness.

[Sin Agog]

Conjunctivitis is a bitch.

Sympathies, vibes.  Grief seems like one of the few things in life that can put us back in the kiln and spit us out a different person. 

[MissInformed]

Sorry to hear about that MissInformed. We're all touched by loss and sadness at some point, but it's a huge victory against the misery of this bastard, grind-you-down world if you can manage to get through it and find some degree of peace and happiness.

Thank you.

[MissInformed]

Grief seems like one of the few things in life that can put us back in the kiln and spit us out a different person.

So fucking true. I am not who I was. She's gone.

[SteK]

PM me, I'd be no help but I'll try...