Looking for specific songs that you can’t remember the names of

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Use this thread to locate specific songs that you are looking for!  Everyone will help you!


Me first!


So I am looking for a specific song about when Marble Arch was being built, and there were two versions of it because they couldn't decide which design they preferred.  In those days if they couldn't choose between two designs they would just make both of them - everyone knows this.  And so it was with Marble Arch.

Later in the song two boxers are charging down the high street with half their clothes stolen.  It's established in the song who stole their clothes and why they are boxers but I can't remember these details now can I?!

They arrive at one Marble Arch each and hang around for a bit on their own, simply standing there, and then they both just go home.  I think they must have said "meet you at Marble Arch" but forgot to mention which one, and believe it or not they didn't have mobile phones in those days so they couldn't clarify anything and they just went home to watch TV.

Next bit of the song has a woman knitting at home and she becomes entangled in her rocking chair and transforms gradually into a rotten version of herself.  Two caretakers arrive and push her through a laminator and then there's a spare verse about clouds holding the secret to your lineage and your puffed-up descendency, and the song ends with the sound of a quill scribing sweet nothings about how writing about a will isn't the same as writing a will, and three children die without an inheritance.


I'd so love to hear this song again but I don't know where to begin looking!  Google turns up nothing!  Anyone?

[Replies From View]

Sorry to immediately chip in with another one but this particular song is especially close to my heart even though I can't really remember anything about it:


There's a gentleman representing Coleman's mustard on the roof of a house, grinding coffee in a green trenchcoat.  The lyrics explicitly state that he is wearing the green trenchcoat and the coffee isn't being ground in it, but then they start become more and more ambiguous until at various points you have to suspend your disbelief and go along with this idea of a Coleman's mustard representative morphing into a windmiller and his clothes becoming all the things in his entire life like the ground he walks on.  At once point his socks and his curtains are strewn together, and as he opens up his curtains in the morning his socks are unfurling and simultaneously going on and off his feet.  "It's called a wire," says the song.

Anyway so that's the first verse and in the second verse a woman called Garrit Semonz is wailing about a package that has become ensconced in jam.  "Her toils are beating, her wake is timely shining on wistful demeanour".  She mumbles about a package holiday that went awry in the years blinding her at birth.  She speaks of a man that she assumed has never stood off a tortoise shell, and the verse ends.

If I recall correctly the choruses are mostly handstands.  Your usual handstand, three-four time or potentially thirteen-sixteen; you would need to check.  Highly charged, a lot of bristle and wake.

Another verse is a descending satire.  Somebody with Clough on his landing and they're trying to put a window back in.  Neither of them knows how they got into the situation of holding a window, neither of them knows how to put a window back in.  The hole for the window is suspiciously large and we leave them on the lyrics "They post it back through the gormless visage of a dying Lassie.  A building without eyes has no tears but glass still takes them on the pavement below".

Another chorus, the same as the previous one but dusted off.  There's a climactic waffle between two engineers and one of them reaches agreement.

For the final verse, most of the key signatures have been completely ironed out.  Someone called Dave is calling out yearningly, achingly.  A child in sweetened corduroy has been awarded pageantry status while a gift shop opens across the road.  Needles are inserted beneath their skin and cheeks are left stinging by the February chill. 


A moving statement from one of those singer-songwriters but my mind is drawing a thorough blank.  Anyone know what it's called?  I have gordoned Google to no avail.

[Glebe]

A song about a goose with a verse that goes 'Quack, quack, quack!'

[pancreas]

I remember there was this mashup between a song about the Riemann hypothesis and a song about a dented can of Prince's hotdogs. I really can't remember what any one of three of these songs were called.

[touchingcloth]

I would like it if pancreas played potential versions of all of these songs on his organ.

[Gregory Torso]

Looking for a song, could swear it was by Tom Jones but can't find it on Youtube and there's nothing on his Discogs page that sounds like it. I'm sure the title is something like "I Thought You Were Dead But Then It Turned Out You Just Haven't Been Born Yet" and the first verse is something like "life is a big trillion piece fucking fuck off jigsaw of a close up of a big pile of shit, and you're on your hands and knees doing it, doing the jigsaw, you big twat", does anyone remember? Tom Jones, maybe Tony Bennett. Could have been Frankie Valli
I remember it being on top of the pops and they had to change the word "jigsaw" to "puzzle" because Simon Bates thought it was some racist american slang term.

[pancreas]

Looking for a song, could swear it was by Tom Jones but can't find it on Youtube and there's nothing on his Discogs page that sounds like it. I'm sure the title is something like "I Thought You Were Dead But Then It Turned Out You Just Haven't Been Born Yet" and the first verse is something like "life is a big trillion piece fucking fuck off jigsaw of a close up of a big pile of shit, and you're on your hands and knees doing it, doing the jigsaw, you big twat", does anyone remember? Tom Jones, maybe Tony Bennett. Could have been Frankie Valli
I remember it being on top of the pops and they had to change the word "jigsaw" to "puzzle" because Simon Bates thought it was some racist american slang term.

I know this one! It was Rod Stewart and it was called 'There's no "I" in "management consultancy"'. Sorry it's not on the internet anywhere.

[Gregory Torso]

Use this thread to locate specific songs that you are looking for!  Everyone will help you!


Me first!


So I am looking for a specific song about when Marble Arch was being built, and there were two versions of it because they couldn't decide which design they preferred.  In those days if they couldn't choose between two designs they would just make both of them - everyone knows this.  And so it was with Marble Arch.

Later in the song two boxers are charging down the high street with half their clothes stolen.  It's established in the song who stole their clothes and why they are boxers but I can't remember these details now can I?!

They arrive at one Marble Arch each and hang around for a bit on their own, simply standing there, and then they both just go home.  I think they must have said "meet you at Marble Arch" but forgot to mention which one, and believe it or not they didn't have mobile phones in those days so they couldn't clarify anything and they just went home to watch TV.

Next bit of the song has a woman knitting at home and she becomes entangled in her rocking chair and transforms gradually into a rotten version of herself.  Two caretakers arrive and push her through a laminator and then there's a spare verse about clouds holding the secret to your lineage and your puffed-up descendency, and the song ends with the sound of a quill scribing sweet nothings about how writing about a will isn't the same as writing a will, and three children die without an inheritance.


I'd so love to hear this song again but I don't know where to begin looking!  Google turns up nothing!  Anyone?

This sounds a lot like The Kinks "I Promise Not To Get Cum On Your Glasses (Again)" although the part about Marble Arch is throwing me off.

It could be "All Cops Are Stingrays"  by Ten Pound Giffgaff Voucher Benny What You Fuckin Lookin At Giraffeskin Wallet BOYE, which is explicitly about laminating someone's grandma for the crime of not being swag boye ten pound asda top up crew enough.

[Gregory Torso]

I know this one! It was Rod Stewart and it was called 'There's no "I" in "management consultancy"'. Sorry it's not on the internet anywhere.

I think you're right, although I'm sure when it was on TOTP, "Rod" was clearly a small elderly woman in an ear wig costume crawling along over a rickety tetanus infected promenade of septic piercings and liposuction deposits

[Glebe]

Didn't Neal Sedaka write 'I Haven't Done My Tax Returns Yet This Year'?

[pancreas]

Didn't Neal Sedaka write 'I Haven't Done My Tax Returns Yet This Year'?

No, that's a Morrissey number, from his album 'Things I Randomly Remember While I'm Watching Bargain Hunt'.

[popcorn]

Looking for a song that came out sometime in the last decade, had guitar, vocals etc. Drums during some / all sections. Been trying to find it but no luck so far.

[touchingcloth]

This is a collection of songs rather than a single one, but I can remember a short album about love, I think it was by one of the Irish ones, maybe B*Witched?

[Replies From View]

This is a collection of songs rather than a single one, but I can remember a short album about love, I think it was by one of the Irish ones, maybe B*Witched?

The Levellers maybe?

[Glebe]

I'm old enough to remember a rare Young Ones episode for charity, in which Dead or Alive performed some song about spinning - but it's not his hit, 'You Spin Me Right Around Baby Right Around Just Like a Record Baby Right Around Right Around!"

[Replies From View]

Dead or Alive

Can't you at least narrow this down?!

[Glebe]

Can't you at least narrow this down?!

No that was the name of the pop group, for goodness' sake Replies!

[Replies From View]

No that was the name of the pop group, for goodness' sake Replies!

Hello I apologise for speaking insufficiently slowly for your headscape

I shall try again:


WHICH ONE OF IT