CORONAVIRUS 2020: RHYTHM OF THE DEATH

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Its okay, the UK is fully prepared for any people suspected of being infected with this particular strain of coronavirus. Just ask this British holidaymaker* who had been to China and the developed a cough and then was able to write his story in a local newspaper.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/01/24/like-contagion-briton-tested-coronavirus-reveals-surreal-hospital/






















*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craig_Dillon

Adviser to Boris, used to work for Sky News (producer, eg finds videos online). Also used to have a prank YouTube channel and got accused of sexually assaulting people!? Bizzare.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I'd been playing it again quite recently anyway when I was bed-ridden - before I realised I could stream my Xbox from the living room into a tablet in my bedroom (amazing). So I was kind of viewing this outbreak through the prism of Plague Inc anyway.  "Wow, the WHO are almost ready to make a siren go off and have a warning scroll across the screen!"

Then I was also trying to work out what mutations I'd apply to this virus in order to make sure it develops and spreads efficiently. And basically, I just want to guarantee that those awkward little isolated bastards in Greenland get a good fucking dose of it.

I started with a virus in China and evolved Sneezing and Coughing to aid transmission. Put the rest of my evolution points into air/water transmission, resistance to heat and cold, then mosquito and rat transmission. Saved the rest of the points to devolve any lethal symptoms and to frustrate the cure. Got the entire world infected, then evolved Pneumonia and Organ Failure. 519 days.

[pigamus]

I started with a virus in China and evolved Sneezing and Coughing to aid transmission.

"Dark reboot" of Going for Gold swiftly axed after viewer complaints

[Gregory Torso]

My wife and son are in Guangzhou. We're waiting for their visas to come through, but I'm so fucking stressed out and worried now. She says everywhere's shut down, mandatory mask wearing for anyone going outside. Worried they won't be able to fly when they do get their visas, and I wouldn't be able to go back to China to be with them. Fuck. There's no way the Chinese govt are being honest with the statistics, either. It's mad, I was in China during both the bird flu and swine flu scares, and obviously SARS got its big break in Guangzhou, but there was nothing going on the way things are now. Cities on lockdown. I can't sleep, I'm calling her as much as I can. I hope this blows over but what if it doesnt, what if it gets worse, what if I can't get to them.

[Beagle 2]

All I can think of everytime I hear the city name of Wuhan.

You too!! Been belting this out all day.

[marquis_de_sad]

My wife and son are in Guangzhou. We're waiting for their visas to come through, but I'm so fucking stressed out and worried now. She says everywhere's shut down, mandatory mask wearing for anyone going outside. Worried they won't be able to fly when they do get their visas, and I wouldn't be able to go back to China to be with them. Fuck. There's no way the Chinese govt are being honest with the statistics, either. It's mad, I was in China during both the bird flu and swine flu scares, and obviously SARS got its big break in Guangzhou, but there was nothing going on the way things are now. Cities on lockdown. I can't sleep, I'm calling her as much as I can. I hope this blows over but what if it doesnt, what if it gets worse, what if I can't get to them.

That sounds incredibly stressful. Hope things work out.

[Bazooka]

My wife and son are in Guangzhou. We're waiting for their visas to come through, but I'm so fucking stressed out and worried now. She says everywhere's shut down, mandatory mask wearing for anyone going outside. Worried they won't be able to fly when they do get their visas, and I wouldn't be able to go back to China to be with them. Fuck. There's no way the Chinese govt are being honest with the statistics, either. It's mad, I was in China during both the bird flu and swine flu scares, and obviously SARS got its big break in Guangzhou, but there was nothing going on the way things are now. Cities on lockdown. I can't sleep, I'm calling her as much as I can. I hope this blows over but what if it doesnt, what if it gets worse, what if I can't get to them.

Sorry to hear squire, let's just hope the city shut downs were playing it safe, but no bloody doubt the figures are higher in the most populated Nation on this sphere.  I'm actually back in the UK for Visa reasons/starting a new job, so ive missed it.  My girlfriend is in Tianjin seeing family, it's all clear, Beijing is much quieter I'm seeing friends post, just city to city buses shut.

But yeah hope Visas come through fast for you, worst possible time for the year for it to happen, you couldn't make it up. I'll be flying back out in maybe two weeks, I want my head scanned at the airport to see if it's really hot.

[Gregory Torso]

Thanks. I'm hoping it'll be like the bird/swine/coughing bat flu virus that pops up every few years and everyone shits themselves for about a week and then it's just fine. Hoping.

[Butchers Blind]

Thanks. I'm hoping it'll be like the bird/swine/coughing bat flu virus that pops up every few years and everyone shits themselves for about a week and then it's just fine. Hoping.

Take some Lemsip, have a lie down and watch Homes Under The Hammer.

[marquis_de_sad]

Thanks. I'm hoping it'll be like the bird/swine/coughing bat flu virus that pops up every few years and everyone shits themselves for about a week and then it's just fine. Hoping.

It does look that way, to be fair. Not that I'm an expert, but the strong reaction to this has been informed by the previous animal flus, so they're doing what they should be doing if this new virus is to go away. The news will only spin these kinds of stories in two ways: miracle cure or disaster pandemic. If it just peters off then they're not interested.

Obviously the under-reporting of numbers is not good, but it's China.

[Kryton]

Can't remember what I was reading earlier, but there's potentially 2000 un-screened people who may be affected in the UK due to the lack of early stage symptoms.


EDIT: Up to 2000 people may have 'slipped' into the UK Europe from affected areas before it became apparent things were serious. Could be bollocks though.

EDIT: changed UK to europe. Phew.

[bgmnts]

I've had a cough for months...

Fuck the lot of you disease mongering wankers.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I've had a cough for months...

Fuck the lot of you disease mongering wankers.

Yeeeaaahhhh if you've had a cough for months better get that looked at mate. Doubtful it's corona but it could be cancer.

[bgmnts]

I'll admit that made me laugh.

[marquis_de_sad]

Can't remember what I was reading earlier, but there's potentially 2000 un-screened people who may be affected in the UK due to the lack of early stage symptoms.


EDIT: Up to 2000 people may have 'slipped' into the UK from affected areas before it became apparent things were serious. Could be bollocks though.

That number seems very high. Last I checked they were expecting 6,000 sufferers in Wuhan (which they totally weren't prepared for in terms of beds, staff, and supplies).

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I'll admit that made me laugh.

do not neglect your health mon ami or you will leave behind also the big garlicky corpse while your ghost faffs around on a british comedy forum for all eternity

[Kryton]

https://www.cnet.com/g00/news/coronavirus-leads-to-sales-spike-of-plague-inc-a-game-about-pandemics/?i10c.ua=1&i10c.encReferrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8%3d&i10c.dv=20

Re: What Barry Admin and co were saying earlier.

On Wednesday, Plague Inc. became the top-selling app in China, reported the BBC, which suggested some people were downloading the game to cope with fears around the still-mysterious virus. On Friday, Ndemic Creations said its website and servers were struggling to keep up with the high player demand.

"Please remember that Plague Inc. is a game, not a scientific model and that the current coronavirus outbreak is a very real situation which is impacting a huge number of people," the company said. "We would always recommend that players get their information directly from local and global health authorities."

[Kryton]

That number seems very high. Last I checked they were expecting 6,000 sufferers in Wuhan (which they totally weren't prepared for in terms of beds, staff, and supplies).

Being neutral, only what I read. I don't want to be a fearmonger.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/coronavirus-outbreak-uk-cases-britain-latest-public-health-england-hancock-a9300666.html

EDIT: Europe not Uk. Soz.

[Kryton]

Get Brexit done, no more foreign diseases. Just olde time Foot and mouth etc.
I don't mean this.

[Kryton]

Someone on facebook just said he couldn't be arsed dying to some 'cheap Chinese copy of the plague'.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Someone on facebook just said he couldn't be arsed dying to some 'cheap Chinese copy of the plague'.

the things people say on facebook next to their real name and photo of their actual face with their mothers and jobs only a click away, smh

[bgmnts]

Ha! I'm pretty sure you learn that the plague came from Asia in primary school don't you? Maybe secondary.

[kalowski]

I'm in a hotel in Cambridge and just went down for breakfast - there's a large party of Chinese people here so I guess I'm DEAD SOON.


More seriously, I guess that's the reaction many Chinese people will now face in this good ol' country of ours.

[danielreal2k]

The city with the outbreak has 40,000 hospital beds, but apparently they are already full with 2000 cases.

[Noodle Lizard]

The city with the outbreak has 40,000 hospital beds, but apparently they are already full with 2000 cases.

I reckon the other 38,000 are taken by people with other ailments.

[Zetetic]

And also: communicable disease.

[imitationleather]

What's really noticeable about the difference between now and SARS is that this time we live in the world of social media, YouTube and widespread very easy access to the rantings of crackpot snake oil salesman conspiracy theorists.

[Mister Six]

HOLY BAT-TWIST!

As  news of the Wuhan virus spread online, one video became emblematic of its claimed origin: It showed a young Chinese woman, supposedly in Wuhan, biting into a virtually whole bat as she held the creature up with chopsticks. Media outlets from the Daily Mail to RT promoted the video, as did a number of prominent extremist bloggers such as Paul Joseph Watson. Thousands of Twitter users blamed supposedly "dirty" Chinese eating habits - in particular the consumption of wildlife - for the outbreak, said to have begun at a so-called wet market that sold animals in Wuhan, China.

There was just one problem. The video wasn't set in Wuhan at all, where bat isn't a delicacy. It wasn't even from China. Instead it showed Wang Mengyun, the host of an online travel show, eating a dish in Palau, a Pacific island nation. Sampling the bat was simply an addition to the well-trodden cannon of adventurism and enthusiasm for unusual foods that numerous American chefs and travel hosts have shown in the past.

https://foreignpolicy.com/2020/01/27/dont-blame-bat-soup-for-the-wuhan-virus/

[bgmnts]

I think its fucking disgusting what they eat as I sit herr eating myself to death with sweet chilli sensations and rehydrated mushy peas.

[Kryton]

It's the equivalent of someone over here tucking into a hedgehog or something, probably.
I dunno, I'm not a Doctor.