CORONAVIRUS 2020: RHYTHM OF THE DEATH

[bgmnts]

Apparently the number of infections per day outside China is now higher than inside (if the Chinese authorities' figures can be trusted).

Read that earlier, def manufactured in China. Let a few thousand people die to make it look accidental then get it spread and sort it out at home.

All dead soon.

[poo]

Any news on whether Porthcawl Blowjob Festival is still going ahead?

[DrGreggles]

Any news on whether Porthcawl Blowjob Festival is still going ahead?

Not sure if 2 people equal a festival but, yes, we're both still going.

[Cuellar]

Nigel Scotland, one of the tourists in quarantine at a hotel in Tenerife, said many of his fellow guests are ignoring the advise to stay in their rooms.

"I counted 268 people on sun beds," he told BBC Radio 4 World at One. He said also saw people swimming in the hotel pool. Harley Mitford told the Guardian that he's seen guests swimming in face masks.

...

Scotland added: "Strictly speaking we're supposed to be in our rooms. My wife and I were visited by the doctor about half an hour. The rooms are quite small and you begin to feel confined and a bit trapped.

Thick bastards. And I highly doubt 'Nigel Scotland' is his real name. 'My name? Er...Ian Virus'

[Eianz]

(spam bot)

[BlodwynPig]

I hope the dumb die first

Happy to go after that

[BlodwynPig]

Its sad to see folks Stockin up and fighting for the bottle of antiseptic in Italian supermarket

(Spam bot, removed video link)

IT BEGINS! BIGGY ARE YOU WATCHING?!

[Fambo Number Mive]

Thick bastards. And I highly doubt 'Nigel Scotland' is his real name. 'My name? Er...Ian Virus'

His name is actually John England.

[Fambo Number Mive]

I see a Tory MP is using the coronavirus for a bit of "UK! UK! UK!"

Tory MP Ben Everitt praises the response to coronavirus in his constituency of Milton Keynes North, which housed some of those who needed to be quarantined when returning from China.

He also claims the UK has been "the best prepared... in the world" when dealing with the outbreak.

[DrGreggles]

He also claims the UK has been "the best prepared... in the world" when dealing with the outbreak.

Does he not remember the national panic caused by a temporary KFC shortage a couple of years ago?

[QDRPHNC]

I'm going to be in Arizona next month, hope I don't run into the chap who has it.

[JarrowMonkey]

Just listened to the news on Radio 2, posh woman on 'trapped' in Tenerife, 'we are much cleaner than anyone here in the UK, come and rescue us Boris', fuck him and fuck her

[Buelligan]

No one posh goes to Tenerife, don't be silly.

[DrGreggles]

True dat. I'm too posh for Tenerife - and I'm a right scummy cunt.

[JarrowMonkey]

No one posh goes to Tenerife, don't be silly.

Well she sounded quiet la de dah to me, having said that everyone where I live sounds like Michael from Alan Partridge

[Huxleys Babkins]

Just listened to the news on Radio 2, posh woman on 'trapped' in Tenerife, 'we are much cleaner than anyone here in the UK, come and rescue us Boris', fuck him and fuck her

Bloke on the news earlier giving it the "I know he's at home sorting out the floods and Brexit, but it would be nice if he could help us" spiel. He's not going to do anything to help you, you dismal foreluck tuggers. He's had your vote, you've no value to him now.

[imitationleather]

I know he's at home sorting out the floods and Brexit

lol

[Blue Jam]

Tenerife, AKA The Island of Fernando's. Where will the Tek Meh Oot winners go now?

[Huxleys Babkins]

That, of course, less than a week removed from that bloke up to his arse in flood water saying that he thought Johnson was busy doing a great job on Brexit, but he'd buy him a pint if he'd come up and try to sort out the flood, please, because he'd voted for him after being Labour for life.

Six months from now; "I know Boris is busy with Brexit, the flood, the virus, the contaminated milk, the volcano and the 7,000 missing school children, but if he could please come up here and deal with the 30ft lizard, it'd be much appreciated."

[BlodwynPig]

Boris, personally?

[Buelligan]

Fucking hell, I'd hate it if he popped by here.

I say I'd hate it and I would but I'd master my feelings and place him in the chest freezer with the others.  Someone needs to take control.

[BlodwynPig]

Its the fawning obsequiousness that will kill us off

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Losing 20% of the world's elderly might cause some initial upset but the consequences in terms of asset and wealth transfer, not to mention political decision making could make the coronavirus a progressive left wing policy worth backing.

[Gregory Torso]

Thick bastards. And I highly doubt 'Nigel Scotland' is his real name. 'My name? Er...Ian Virus'

This was just on the news. What the fucks point of quarantining then when they're all leaning out of their windows shouting "oi mate catch this" and coughing into each other's rooms?

[Kryton]

Trump predictably calling this 'fake news'. I hope someone sneezes up his arse.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Trump predictably calling this 'fake news'. I hope someone sneezes up his arse.

LOVE IT IF HE DIES FROM THIS

LOVE IT

[QDRPHNC]

[Kryton]

LOVE IT IF HE DIES FROM THIS

LOVE IT

Rumours abound that the Iranian minister for health has it and was diagnosed AFTER meeting the Iranian President. So some world leaders might die.

[Zetetic]

The deputy health minister of Iran has been diagnosed with it.

[Uncle TechTip]

We shouldn't lose sight of the fact that this is great business for The Media.