rude customers and things like that

[kittens]

hello folks,

just had the world's rudest man come into my shop. don't want to type it all up right now cos i'm still shaking from him being so rude. but maybe I'll do it later

if you have any good stories of rude customers please put them in this thread. be good if there are ones where they get some kind of comeuppance, but stories about just total rude cunts would also be great.

thanks,

[Icehaven]

I was in a Toby carvery years ago and some extremely pompous sounding man was telling the waiter bringing the drinks that he wouldn't be eating at the same time as his family as he "didn't queue." In other words he was going to sit there like a prick until either there was no queue at the carvery counter, or he wasn't going to be eating at all. I bet it took all the waiter's energy not to say "Arsed mate, go hungry then."

[Deyv]

Couldn't refund an item for a customer as she didn't have the receipt and the Oxfam label had been removed.

"I thought you'd make an exception. It's not like you're a proper shop."

[Sin Agog]

I remember popping by to see my brother in a skate clothes shop he used to work at.  He was sitting on a rather angry fellow at the time.  When I inquired why he was sitting on this gentleman, he replied it was because, after finding out that he couldn't get a refund on a battered pair of home-brand trainers from George/Asda, he had proceeded to grab display shoes and lob them at the other customers.  The only way to stop him was to sit on him until the police arrived.  I seem to recall trying to make a little small talk with the shoe-thrower to pass the time, but he wasn't really a talker.

[Dewt]

hello folks,

just had the world's rudest man come into my shop. don't want to type it all up right now cos i'm still shaking from him being so rude. but maybe I'll do it later

if you have any good stories of rude customers please put them in this thread. be good if there are ones where they get some kind of comeuppance, but stories about just total rude cunts would also be great.

thanks,

"You man of tod! I can't believe this is happening to lovely me!"

[Icehaven]

Couldn't refund an item for a customer as she didn't have the receipt and the Oxfam label had been removed.

"I thought you'd make an exception. It's not like you're a proper shop."

Saw a bloke trying to haggle in a charity shop the other day, being borderline intimidating to the girl on the till, who really did look about 13 but was presumably older. She did well though, just repeatedly told him she wasn't allowed to change any prices until he gave up and slunk out.

[sevendaughters]

Angry Geordie screaming at me while I work for a broadband provider "WORKING IN A CALL CENTRE LIKE A FUCKING LOSER" was probably the high point. I hung up on him and got into trouble.

[shoulders]

Part of my job is to listen through recorded calls when investigating complaints and one consistent theme is how fucking rude people are to first line customer support, then how they turn into obsequious butter-wouldn't-melt arsekissers once they reach anyone in authority.

I always try my best to be nice to anyone in an entry level position as it must be a tough job already without some head in the clouds buy to let landlord cunting on about their 'portfolio' and how they can't be waiting on the phone for ten minutes!

A recent one is customers researching their case owners on LinkedIn then refusing the service because 'I'm not having my remortgage worked on by some hairdresser' etc.

All the while having opted for the cheapest possible option (fees free legals).

But solicitors are even worse. So many are haughty, breakdown-tier cardiac arrest nominees who have no perspective and no manners. Feet stomping bullies who make everyone else's lives a misery because they are having a bad day. Why don't you lay off the coke and get a proper night's sleep mate?

[Buelligan]

I wrote a story, quite a long one, about this.  True, as well.  Then I deleted it.  I'm not giving any power to this cunt.

[Dex Sawash]

At cafeteria for lunch, man in front asked for 'Salisbury steak, no gravy'. Salisbury steak is floating in a trough of gravy. The server is only armed with a spoon. She did a fairly good job of fishing out a steak without an excess of gravy. Before it hits the plate the man repeats a crescendo of 'no gravy no gravy NO GRAVY'
She slaps the plate on the counter and moves on to next customer.

This is a poor story of customer rudeness. Slightly more entertaining, This particular cafeteria the servers in the mains section alert the next customer it is their turn to select an entree by cycling through the phrases 'help you with your meat'  'your meat, sir' which is very entertaining to the very immature.

[holyzombiejesus]

Went in to a restaurant/ bistro thing in South Manchester a few years back and our waitress looked a bit upset. We asked if she was ok and she told us how the previous customer had kicked off because the fish he'd ordered came with the head still attached. When she tried to explain that that was how it was generally served, the man bellowed "Don't fuck with the rich!" at her. Monumental cunt there.

[kittens]

I wrote a story, quite a long one, about this.  True, as well.  Then I deleted it.  I'm not giving any power to this cunt.

oh go on

[shoulders]

Went in to a restaurant/ bistro thing in South Manchester a few years back and our waitress looked a bit upset. We asked if she was ok and she told us how the previous customer had kicked off because the fish he'd ordered came with the head still attached. When she tried to explain that that was how it was generally served, the man bellowed "Don't fuck with the rich!" at her. Monumental cunt there.

Christ, what a buffoon.

Imagine the shit-eating satisfaction I get from unwinding and unpicking the arguments of people like these.

I can be Santa if they play nice, but if the person is going to be a dick I'll find every sub-clause visible to the naked eye to get Satany with.

[Replies From View]

Other things that are like rude customers include dog owners permitting their dogs to park their shit all on everything, and those ones that put their verrucas on every single object you need to swim on.

[BlodwynPig]

Angry Geordie screaming at me while I work for a broadband provider "WORKING IN A CALL CENTRE LIKE A FUCKING LOSER" was probably the high point. I hung up on him and got into trouble.

sorry about that

[Pingers]

I used to work in a council office that was bang next to a police station. The queues could be pretty hefty to be fair, with all manner of low-quality humans waiting their turn, but hey. Anyway, after about 40 minute wait this woman gets to see my mate next to me, he looks at what she's brought with her and points out this isn't the police station, which is where she thought she was. She stormed out, shouting "fuck off!", we all had a good chuckle. Another woman was really shitty to the same colleague while he resolved her issue, and as she got up to leave without a word he said loudly and pointedly "Mention it".

[Utter Shit]

I worked for Legal and General for a year or so around 2009, taking incoming calls from people who had been missold life assurance policies - told that they were guaranteed their original investment (minimum £5k) when this wasn't the case, then fucked by the worldwide banking crisis and left with very little.

I never actually minded the rude callers because, frankly, they were entitled to be pissed off that they had essentially been tricked into losing a shitload of money, and the upset, often elderly callers who didn't really understand what had happened were much more difficult to cope with. The sheer variety of insults I received was actually quite entertaining once I'd got used to it - my favourite was a very wealthy man who called me a "stinking rat".

[Sebastian Cobb]

Used to get some prick in the bookies who'd try the bog door, find it's locked then go up saying 'I can't get in the toilet' then I'd hand him the key and he'd have a benny about it being locked. EVERY FUCKING TIME.

I just used to say 'it's to keep the smack heads out' then repeat 'phone customer services' until he went away.

[mrpupkin]

Working at a call centre an old friend was once called a

FAT
FUCKING
DISMAL
SLAG

which is a bit rude.

[Dewt]

I love the word dismal.

[Utter Shit]

Working at a call centre an old friend was once called a

FAT
FUCKING
DISMAL
SLAG

which is a bit rude.

Ahahaha amazing. I hope the intonation was like that too, a word at a time.

[jobotic]

I was called a fucking depressant. That did hurt a bit, I thought I brought joy to people's hearts, like a squirrel with mittens.

[Blinder Data]

Every single customer referenced in these stories was BlodwynPig

[shoulders]

The people who can't distinguish between you the individu and the wider reason why there has been poor service are the best. The sort who presumably used to lynch messengers for dispensing bad news.

Their brains are gone, long past the yardarm
Biowaste.

[Kryton]

I once served some uniformed services types (basically students studying to become police officers) and one woman in particular was particularly rude to me, commenting on how much ice I was placing in someone's drink, what type of glass I was using etc, how I was doing it wrong. Anyway it got to her turn and she had this shit eating grin on her face and I made a point of asking her for ID / proof of age. Which she didn't have.

'Sorry but the law is the law'.

Never fuck with bar staff.

[Better Midlands]

I once served some uniformed services types (basically students studying to become police officers) and one woman in particular was particularly rude to me, commenting on how much ice I was placing in someone's drink, what type of glass I was using etc, how I was doing it wrong. Anyway it got to her turn and she had this shit eating grin on her face and I made a point of asking her for ID / proof of age. Which she didn't have.

'Sorry but the law is the law'.

Never fuck with bar staff.

Lovely

[Pingers]

You know in opticians when they have signs that say "We can dispense your prescription in an hour*" with loads of caveats about how it's simple prescriptions only? One time this puffed up little teapot of a man, wearing a blazer with gold buttons, for the love of God, came in and demanded we dispense his complex varifocals in an hour as he was going on holiday that very day and couldn't wait. What kind of prick demands this sort of shit anyway, rather than enquiring whether it's possible? Mr MacNaughton from Kensington, that's who. Once it was patiently explained to him that it just wasn't possible, he detonated his tantrum vest and we all had a good snigger. I hope that while on holiday with the wrong glasses he fell into a chasm.

[Dewt]

He definitely was not going on holiday.

[Captain Crunch]

Just before Christmas I tried to rebalance a bit of this.  I was queuing for tickets at the cinema, two service points, one was working fine but the other one had a very polite little sign saying 'out of use sorry' and an employee on the computer.  The lady serving was very apologetic and helpful but you know there's always one.  Some prick starting kicking off, looked like the type of bloke who'd been retired for all of five minutes and hasn't quite got out of the habit of throwing his weight around.  It was obvious there was something wrong with the second computer but he was all "never mind the computer customers you've got REAL CUSTOMERS waiting here!"  Luckily no one joined in and when it was my turn to be served I apologised to the lady.  On reflection it might have sounded a bit naff but I would have felt worse if I'd said nothing.

It's not that people complain because something is wrong (which is fair enough), it's that some people really enjoy having a go.

[Sebastian Cobb]

You know in opticians when they have signs that say "We can dispense your prescription in an hour*" with loads of caveats about how it's simple prescriptions only? One time this puffed up little teapot of a man, wearing a blazer with gold buttons, for the love of God, came in and demanded we dispense his complex varifocals in an hour as he was going on holiday that very day and couldn't wait. What kind of prick demands this sort of shit anyway, rather than enquiring whether it's possible? Mr MacNaughton from Kensington, that's who. Once it was patiently explained to him that it just wasn't possible, he detonated his tantrum vest and we all had a good snigger. I hope that while on holiday with the wrong glasses he fell into a chasm.

I once lost a pair of glasses because I forgot about the existence of a stream between me and my tent. I went to the opticians with a really old pair of glasses which were several prescriptions old. The optician commented on this and I told her what happened and she got the glasses makers to put me to the front of the queue and they were ready in the afternoon. Which was nice of her.