Confit Potatoes

[Sebastian Cobb]

God I hate potatoes. In pretty much any form except chips. Horrible bland rubbish.

I can't trust people who don't like mash.

[Icehaven]

Potatoes are life.

[Cuellar]

I can't trust people who don't like mash.

Mash is 100% the worst form of potato.

[idunnosomename]

you are banned from entering lincolnshire

[Blue Jam]

Potatoes are amazing you freak

[Cuellar]

you are banned from entering lincolnshire

[Cuellar]

Fuck this, fuck this whole thing I'm out

[idunnosomename]

i know it is not the biggest sanction going. it's not even on the way to anywhere

[idunnosomename]

CON-FIT POTAYTOES

CAUSE THEY AINT GOT NO BONES

[shiftwork2]

Mash is 100% the worst form of potato.

I thought this for decades until one day I embraced mash.  It's just the best and you don't know it yet.  But, like jazz and gardening, mash is waiting for you in your future with an avuncular smile and it'll be kind to you even though you have spited it.  Heavenly mash.

[bgmnts]

Mash is 100% the worst form of potato.

Fucking hell.

[Cuellar]

I thought this for decades until one day I embraced mash.  It's just the best and you don't know it yet.  But, like jazz and gardening, mash is waiting for you in your future with an avuncular smile and it'll be kind to you even though you have spited it.  Heavenly mash.

I haven't cooked or eaten mash for about 12 years

[idunnosomename]

starvation once again

[Cuellar]

Imagine going to all the effort of making mash why not just chuck them straight in the bin

[Sebastian Cobb]

Which part of making mash tires you out the most? The 20 minutes of simmering or the 20 seconds of mashing?

[Dewt]

I see you're leaving out peeling and washing

You should be in politics mate

[Blue Jam]

My Potato Top 3:

3. Maris Piper. Not the most flavoursome but they make lovely smooth mash and they get a lovely glassy crust when roasted. Unbeatable as far as roasties are concerned.

2. Charlotte. Waxy and earthy and rich. Bit of olive oil and parmesan, nice. Also nice with a bit of oil and rosemary as a roast potato crush. Skins on, obviously.

1. Anya. Exclusive to Sainsbury's, knobbly, earthy and savoury as fuck. Just boil 'em, nothing more required.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I see you're leaving out peeling and washing

You should be in politics mate

Don't need to wash if they're supermarket ones and you're peeling.

[Gurke and Hare]

Where I am, it's all about hash browns these days. They're all charging £3.50 for a side order of hash browns which consist of someone squashing grated potato in their hand and throwing them in a fryer.

And they're never as good as the frozen ones you get at a greasy spoon.

[pancreas]

I agree with Cuellar.

Mashed potato is a substance for thickening cream. Bit of salt and pepper and you could just use a mixture of thicker cream and butter.

Shepherd's Pie? They only gave it to you for school dinners to sap your individuality.

Boiled potatoes. Christ. There had better be some fucking great dressing if you want me to get those down. And even then, I might allow myself off having to send down one or two bits at the end.

Jacket potatoes. Burnt tasting crumbly tasteless shite with a slab of margarine on it and then you top it with a load of un-reduced un-buttered baked beans, you absolute phlegm.

Gnocchi. Better made with ricotta.

Chips. Sure. Drizzled artfully with a mixture of okonomiyaki sauce and kewpie mayonnaise

Roast potatoes. I consider these to be large chips. Hours are spent making them crisp for them to be smashed apart in gravy.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Fuck mash, strewth. Food cloud.

Hi I'm British I prefer my food to be a dense bland clag of pile. Please just piping bag it into my enzymes like a turd-filled pterodactyl and have done with it.

[seepage]

Gnocchi. Better made with ricotta.

what, do you boil ricotta?

[Endicott]

Fuck mash, strewth. Food cloud.

Hi I'm British I prefer my food to be a dense bland clag of pile. Please just piping bag it into my enzymes like a turd-filled pterodactyl and have done with it.

Of course the French clag it up even more by turning it into Pommes Aligot.


Fascinating that it's now considered edgy to dis mash.

[Cuellar]

Which part of making mash tires you out the most? The 20 minutes of simmering or the 20 seconds of mashing?

This just confirms everything. With 20 seconds of mashing you're going to end up with the shittest 'mash' ever. Lumpy and half-arsed. If that's what you mean by mash you can keep it. I will never eat mash again.

[Sebastian Cobb]

This just confirms everything. With 20 seconds of mashing you're going to end up with the shittest 'mash' ever. Lumpy and half-arsed. If that's what you mean by mash you can keep it. I will never eat mash again.

maybe the problem is you have a rubbish potato masher.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Mashed potato is a substance for thickening cream. Bit of salt and pepper and you could just use a mixture of thicker cream and butter.

ahh yes, that famous british staple; bangers and cream.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Mashed potato, bitch.

[Blue Jam]

I bet pancreas makes mash with a ricer.

[Blue Jam]

maybe the problem is you have a rubbish potato masher.

My potato masher is a bit like this one:



Different handle, but looks the same at the business end. Note the circular holes. Doesn't look like anything special but it's a beast that will reduce any spud to the smoothest mash.

Masher design is important. Those ones that are basically a squiggle on a stick can get fucked.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Same. Metal definitely makes a difference.

I've been told to keep an eye out for one of these when they're cheap on prime day or whatever:


I'm not interested in their mash capability, as a good masher is fine. But it seems handy for doing boring stuff like whisking or making bechamel, which isn't hard but is really fucking boring.