Author Topic: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020  (Read 28939 times)

Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #180 on: September 27, 2020, 01:09:27 PM »
" I HAVE NOT CHANGED MY OPINION ON GEOFF COWBOY"

Inordinately pleased by this sentence for some reason.

famethrowa

  • mere rhetorical frippery
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #181 on: September 28, 2020, 12:26:50 AM »
Inordinately pleased by this sentence for some reason.

I'm just not sure if he did anything that would change one's opinion?

icehaven

  • Marmalade's reared it's head in every course
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #182 on: October 08, 2020, 01:57:14 PM »
Poured half a bottle of highly corrosive sink unblocker down the plughole the other day, then stood there trying very hard not to drink the rest of it.

Edit; I've just realised that makes me sound like Sylvia Plath. I'm not suicidal or anything, it was very much a mad thought of wanting to do the last, stupidest thing you should do with a bottle covered in hazard warnings.

Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #183 on: October 08, 2020, 02:07:30 PM »
Poured half a bottle of highly corrosive sink unblocker down the plughole the other day, then stood there trying very hard not to drink the rest of it.

Edit; I've just realised that makes me sound like Sylvia Plath.

A Psycho Plath.

Shameless Custard

  • PAUSE FOR THE JET
    • My RUBBISH
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #184 on: October 08, 2020, 10:55:21 PM »
To be fair, they shouldn't make the stuff look so delicious

Just the other day I wanted to bite into a Persil non-bio gel tablet, as it looked like it'd taste all minty and fresh. It wouldn't, would it

PlanktonSideburns

  • we got the funke
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #185 on: October 09, 2020, 12:03:42 AM »
you would die

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #186 on: October 09, 2020, 12:07:36 AM »
From a persil? You might be sick, at worst.

At best, you might foam at the anus.

Tony Tony Tony

  • CaB Worm Charming Runner Up 2018-2020
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #187 on: October 09, 2020, 12:19:35 AM »
The thought of biting into one of those laundry pouches and having sweet juice exploding into one's mouth is almost irresistible.



buttgammon

  • How thick is wall?
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #188 on: October 09, 2020, 09:05:04 AM »
They have those TV ads warning people to keep liquitabs away from children, lest they bite in to them. Yeah, right. Who hasn't wanted to bite into one when putting a wash on? Here's a thought: if you don't want people trying to eat them, don't make them look like especially delicious sweets.

Re: Peter%u2019s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #189 on: October 09, 2020, 12:34:39 PM »
They used to wash kids mouth out with soap, is that not allowed anymore?

No wonder they're such foul mouthed little cunts these days.

Artie Fufkin

  • Let Me In, Sparks
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #190 on: October 09, 2020, 12:49:30 PM »
At funerals I've been struck by the Mad Thought of saying 'he really was a twat, wasn't he?' instead of offering condolences, especially if I didn't actually know the deceased.

My manager died a while back. At the funeral, I really had to stop myself from going up to his wife and saying "Jeez, I spent more time with him than people I actually like", thinking it would be hilarious and break the ice.
I didn't, of course.
He was a massive cunt, however.

icehaven

  • Marmalade's reared it's head in every course
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #191 on: October 15, 2020, 09:53:03 AM »
I was walking to work this morning and at the top of a steep-ish hill that was virtually deserted there was an abandoned shopping trolley, which I deeply wanted to get in and ride down (and fall out and crack my skull). 

Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #192 on: October 15, 2020, 11:28:51 AM »
I was walking to work this morning and at the top of a steep-ish hill that was virtually deserted there was an abandoned shopping trolley, which I deeply wanted to get in and ride down (and fall out and crack my skull).

"I'm Nonny Jocksville, and this is 'Getting In A Deserted Shopping Trolley And Riding It Down A Steep-ish Hill And Falling Out And Cracking My Skull', welcome to Jackass!"

Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #193 on: October 17, 2020, 01:35:55 PM »
getting a bag of monster munch, ripping it open, and smushing it all over my genitals

Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #194 on: October 17, 2020, 04:43:41 PM »
eating smashed monster munch off someone's genitals

falafel

  • Yes, blue.
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #195 on: October 17, 2020, 11:49:36 PM »
watching someone eat sm

Artie Fufkin

  • Let Me In, Sparks
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #196 on: October 19, 2020, 12:11:15 PM »
Soggy Monster Munch

Shameless Custard

  • PAUSE FOR THE JET
    • My RUBBISH
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #197 on: October 19, 2020, 01:05:59 PM »
Whilst using a blender earlier (one of those Ninja things) to blend food for someone I support (they have choking issues), everything in me wanted to grab the finished slop and lob it all up the wall. Then blend both my hands

sirhenry

  • That worked out well...
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #198 on: October 25, 2020, 06:19:27 PM »
Every time I use a pressure cooker I think ”I wonder what would happen if I took the top off when it’s under pressure?” The imagined disaster scares me so much that I never use the weight to give it maximum pressure any more.

Turns out it just goes ‘Whum’ and fires the lid across the room in a cloud of super-heated steam.

Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #199 on: October 25, 2020, 06:27:57 PM »
Every time I use a pressure cooker I think ”I wonder what would happen if I took the top off when it’s under pressure?” The imagined disaster scares me so much that I never use the weight to give it maximum pressure any more.

My mum used to leave one with the hob turned up max then promptly fall asleep in the lounge, I kept getting the fear that I'd walk in the kitchen unknowingly and it would explode in my face. Even when I use one now it seems to take forever for it to reach the pressure to push the weight up and I get too scared it might not work and explode in my face so I just end up turning the hob off and running away until it cools.

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
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Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #200 on: October 25, 2020, 06:43:31 PM »
What would be the massive problem with having your face blown off anyway?

Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #201 on: October 25, 2020, 06:47:22 PM »
What would be the massive problem with having your face blown off anyway?

Not much now I suppose since we have self-service checkouts.

Paul Calf

  • LOTION MAN
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Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #202 on: October 25, 2020, 08:30:40 PM »
It'd be a bit tricky to unlock your iPhone.

Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #203 on: October 25, 2020, 08:32:43 PM »
It'd be a bit tricky to unlock your iPhone.

Be handy on Halloween, though.

sirhenry

  • That worked out well...
Re: Peter’s mad thoughts 2020
« Reply #204 on: October 25, 2020, 09:19:02 PM »
What would be the massive problem with having your face blown off anyway?
Not nearly as much as I had expected.

Probably the most annoying aspect is that I can't even feel sorry for myself as the guy before me at the burns clinic had had third degree burns over 43% of his body a few months ago and had been put in a coma for a few weeks while healing. Because his burns were so extensive he had to have someone else's skin grafted, so Friday was the day he was finally having the 'cadaver skin' removed. I felt like a fucking amateur.

But it has accelerated my acceptance into the CaB cabal by taking a couple of inches off my hairline.

And I'm really shiny.

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