WHAT?

[madhair60]

Cunt: What's wrong with the printer?
Me: It's jammed.
Cunt: Probably not enough paper.
Me: No, it says it's jammed.
Cunt: You'll need to put more paper in.
Me: No, it's jammed, see -- (opens printer, removes very significant paper jam, closes printer)
Cunt: If you don't put more paper in it'll happen again.
Me: WHAT?

Give me those situations where all you could do is go WHAT?

[SpiderChrist]

Cunt: We're leaving the EU and letting the Tories organise it.
Me: WHAT?

[madhair60]

Bumping this because while it's a false start I genuinely believe this could be a banger

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Bumping this because while it's a false start I genuinely believe this could be a banger

Me: WHAT?

[marquis_de_sad]

Captain?
WHAT?

[bgmnts]

Traveller 1: Have you seen those glorious Buddhist temples in Laos?
Traveller 2: Wat?

[Inspector Norse]

Doctor: you've got something on your nose there.
Witch: WART?

[Huxleys Babkins]

Posted this one before, but I had a cash point blue screen on me, swallowing my card and rebooting to the Windows XP desktop.

Told everyone in the queue, but one bloke decided that this was all some sort of conspiracy to stop him getting to the pub so he barged his way to the front, calling us all kinds of cunts, before putting his card in and staring at the rolling green hills of Windows XP before it finally sunk in that, no, we weren't just being wankers and that, yes, his card was gone and he'd have no cash for the weekend.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Slim Shady: Hi! My name is...
Me: WHAT?

[madhair60]

Posted this one before, but I had a cash point blue screen on me, swallowing my card and rebooting to the Windows XP desktop.

Told everyone in the queue, but one bloke decided that this was all some sort of conspiracy to stop him getting to the pub so he barged his way to the front, calling us all kinds of cunts, before putting his card in and staring at the rolling green hills of Windows XP before it finally sunk in that, no, we weren't just being wankers and that, yes, his card was gone and he'd have no cash for the weekend.

Hahaha, I hope that had lasting severe consequences for him.

[pancreas]

Chemtrails

[gilbertharding]

Who, or why, or which, or what, Is the Akond of SWAT?

[Pingers]

The other day when the head of some private school federation complained that if top universities had to take more kids from state schools it wouldn't be fair because it would mean some people got the best university education because of which class they were born into

*agape*

[madhair60]

The other day when the head of some private school federation complained that if top universities had to take more kids from state schools it wouldn't be fair because it would mean some people got the best university education because of which class they were born into

*agape*

Fucking WOW.

[Pingers]

I know. In fact I wasn't just agape, but also agog. A two ag_ situation. If it had made me agogo it would have been the End of Days lads.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Were you aghast?

[Pingers]

Were you aghast?

Oh shit. We're in bother now.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POv-3yIPSWc

[Sherman Krank]

Cunt: What's wrong with the printer?
Me: It's jammed.
Cunt: Probably not enough paper.
Me: No, it says it's jammed.
Cunt: You'll need to put more paper in.
Me: No, it's jammed, see -- (opens printer, removes very significant paper jam, closes printer)
Cunt: If you don't put more paper in it'll happen again.
Me: WHAT?

Mr Cunt might have a (somewhat confused) point as I remember from my brief career as a printer repair man that some models of large commercial printers were prone to jamming when the paper in the hopper went below a certain level. That was getting on for 20 years ago though and you'd think the industry would have solved that particular design flaw by now.
Is the printer at your workplace as old as fuck?

[Replies From View]

Doctor: you've got something on your nose there.
Witch: WART?

*Chris Chibnall smugly sits back from his writing desk and puts his feet up*

[Glebe]

[Pingers]

Here's another belter, about the Tory candidate who's being banged up because he claimed he was going to pay people to kill Yvette Cooper.

Tory MP Andrea Jenkins gave this guy a character reference because

she said Spencer was "a decent and honest person whose heart is in the right place and who always helps people in need".

She said she did not condone what he had done but claimed he had been "let down by the system" and desperately needed help for his mental health problems, including biopolar disorder and suicidal thoughts.

So to recap: I, a TORY, vouch for this TORY, because we TORIES have spent the last 10 years cunting mental health services to death so that this TORY cannot get help for his mental health needs because of TORIES like him and me. Therefore you must let this TORY off at the say-so of this other TORY. Thank you, your honour.

[SteK]

My son thought Fax machines actually sent the paper over the phone line.

[BlodwynPig]

My son thought Fax machines actually sent the paper over the phone line.

His dad too

[Icehaven]

A little while ago I was chatting with about 6 other people, a random selection of acquaintances from a very wide range of backgrounds, and the subject of 9/11 came up and it turned out I was the only non-Truther in the room. That was a real "What the fuck is going on here?" moment.

[Sebastian Cobb]

My son thought Fax machines actually sent the paper over the phone line.

Clue's in the name.

[SteK]

My missus ex-best friend (she moved to NZ), qualified Chartered Accountant and Degree in Accountancy, genuinely thought babies come out of a woman's pee-hole.

29 years old. No kids, obviously....