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Asking if this seat is taken - rudeness

Started by shiftwork2, January 30, 2020, 06:45:10 PM

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Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Lost Oliver on January 31, 2020, 10:26:20 AM
About two weeks ago Mrs LO and me were in a pub in a booth that could house four people. Anyway, half an hour in and a chap came over and asked us if we'd like to move because there was three of his gang and only two of us. I told him no, obviously. I remember thinking that that was really rude and it pissed me off  proper. What if we'd been on a date etc? But written down his point kind of made sense. I guess it's the way you go about asking. Still, the nerve of the cunt.

What about when you've got a table to yourself (cos the bar was full) and someone or a couple ask if you they can sit, yes fine, then a whole gaggle of them and their mates appear and start loudly chatting and you're all of a sudden an unwelcome guest at your own table.

Paul Calf

"Is anyone sat here?"

"Sitting. 'Is anyone sitting here?'"

"Cunt."

"You rang?"

Sebastian Cobb

Another pub one that boiled my piss was being sat at a bar with coat hooks running along it, and some bellend hung his hench jacket on one then fucked off to a big table with bench seats and ample room to put his coat. It was hench and right between my legs, I ended up having to manspread round it.

Icehaven

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on January 31, 2020, 12:48:33 PM
What about when you've got a table to yourself (cos the bar was full) and someone or a couple ask if you they can sit, yes fine, then a whole gaggle of them and their mates appear and start loudly chatting and you're all of a sudden an unwelcome guest at your own table.

Exactly this happened to me a few years back only with a slightly better outcome. I was in the pub on my own at a table, two blokes sat down (they asked first), then a few more people turned up, then a few more, and it turned out they were on a big work's night out, someone's birthday or leaving do or something, and once they clocked I was on my own they were quite keen for me to join in. People were asking me what department I worked in and if I liked working there (can't remember where they all worked, some office). When they moved on they asked me to come along but I didn't, I felt a bit silly by that point and they were going to some club I wouldn't have liked anyway, but it was a good evening, I'm still fb friends with a few of them.

bgmnts

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on January 31, 2020, 12:48:33 PM
What about when you've got a table to yourself (cos the bar was full) and someone or a couple ask if you they can sit, yes fine, then a whole gaggle of them and their mates appear and start loudly chatting and you're all of a sudden an unwelcome guest at your own table.

This happened to me in a pub in NYC. Sitting down at an empty table with sofa seats, staring desperately into my phone and waiting for my friend when these two girls come over and sit down. Then after 10 minutes they ask if I can watch their drinks while they go for a smoke, presumably so no dodgy cunt puts some bill crosby rape pill in it I guess. So now i'm on drink watching duty for two strangers and I sat there being perversely offended that they found me such a beta cuck soyboy that they trusted me to look after their drinks. Not even masculine enough to be a sexual threat for fucksake.


Endicott

If you won the lottery you'd find a downside to it.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on January 31, 2020, 12:48:33 PM
What about when you've got a table to yourself (cos the bar was full) and someone or a couple ask if you they can sit, yes fine, then a whole gaggle of them and their mates appear and start loudly chatting and you're all of a sudden an unwelcome guest at your own table.

This happened to me last night  having a quiet pint and reading an enthralling Throwing Muses interview in a copy of " Mojo", opposite another solitary chap. Eventually table filled up with a group of five people who didn't seem to mind that I was sitting right next to them with me mag, then the female mate of the other feller turned up, at which point he chose to ask me what I was reading. That was it from that point, jolly conversation all round, photos taken, etc. The Muscovites: a great bunch of lads.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteNot even masculine enough to be a sexual threat for fucksake.

Did you pop across to Boots to get some johnnies for them too?

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: bgmnts on January 31, 2020, 01:36:37 PM
This happened to me in a pub in NYC. Sitting down at an empty table with sofa seats, staring desperately into my phone and waiting for my friend when these two girls come over and sit down. Then after 10 minutes they ask if I can watch their drinks while they go for a smoke, presumably so no dodgy cunt puts some bill crosby rape pill in it I guess. So now i'm on drink watching duty for two strangers and I sat there being perversely offended that they found me such a beta cuck soyboy that they trusted me to look after their drinks. Not even masculine enough to be a sexual threat for fucksake.

This is the IRL version of that bit from " Love, Actually".

Blinder Data

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on January 31, 2020, 12:26:08 PM
It's not crippling to just not want the huge sigh, the slow shuffle and passive aggressive after-grunting that accompanies the fair request to allow a train passenger access to a fucking seat on a busy train.

I'll look out for you, the one gracious space-conscious one.

If it helps give you aspergers I can sign the first cross in the box to confirm that no matter what your rationale, you look like a selfish twat for doing it.

I need to get off at the first stop. Train is empty when I get on. I sit in the aisle seat so I have easy access to the exit. What is point of moving into the window seat for a fellow passenger when five minutes later I will have to ask that person to move so I can get past?

Plus I like the aisle seat - I saw it first so IT'S MINE.

I'm afraid you are wrong on this, totally and utterly.

---

In answer to the OP's question of asking about spare seats:
- on commuter trains: unnecessary
- on long-distance trains: encouraged, but not essential in all circumstances

madhair60

yeah I'm 6'7" and I will be sitting in the aisle seat - so fuck off.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: madhair60 on January 31, 2020, 03:49:33 PM
yeah I'm 6'7" and I will be sitting in the aisle seat - so fuck off.

I was in the cinema last night, got a seat nice and early. Two bellends then come and ask me to shift and one of them ends up sitting next to me, immediately nicking the arm rest, then two tall lasses sit in front the one directly in front had hair the perfect length to brush all over my knees, which I was well aware of as I was in shorts. Then I spent the film alternating between knees together and seat in-front clipping them as the person with the hair leant back or apart and worrying about manspreading against an armrest theif. Nightmare.

I did actually enjoy The Holy Mountain in spite of this though.

Sony Walkman Prophecies

#72
QuoteI've been on trains in Poland, Austria and Germany in the last few months and they all make the entire existence of trains in Britain look like a big old pile of honking dog shit covered in shit and piss. Feel sorry for anyone who has to use trains here.

It's an enduring mystery. The English pride themselves on being one of the most practical peoples in the world - exceptional at anything that involves fastening rivets to panels. And yet they do seem to be plagued by one of the ugliest, inefficient, unjustifiably expensive transport systems in the world. Go to other countries and subway cars look tough and hard-wearing. Built to last. In ours, every train looks like it's come straight out the Fisher Price factory. There seems to be an unnatural desire to clad every available space in garish plastic and employ 1980s coach station decor throughout. Even the French have got this stuff sorted.

Though having said that, against the French, the last seat altercation was with a French West African in Paris. Absolute bellend and old enough to know better. We had the bits of paper to prove he was it was our seat but he still wouldn't move. Almost resulted in all of us getting kicked out - jolly good fun all round.

As to the UK, as with everything else, it's a divided land - but I find London on the whole to be the easiest. People are used to the daily give-and-take that goes with living a huge, populous, overcrowded city. It's where you go out to the provinces that the fists start to tighten and the arses clench with righteous constipated rage. Here it becomes a point of pride not to give a single inch. I've been verbally confronted in York (York ffs) just got daring to look at someone's seat number; and then I'm reminded, seeing that kind of every day territorialism that is the default setting in virtually every small village and town, why I moved as soon as I had the chance.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteThough having said that, funnily enough, the last seat altercation was with a French/west African man in Paris

Generally if you mention someone's race for no particular reason, it looks a bit bad.

For example, I was once trapped on a megabus with a mega fucking cunt who decided that what everyone wanted to hear was him swanning down the aisle with an acoustic guitar performing reggae, and interspersing that with questioning people's religious beliefs, while smelling really bad. It's the one time I have experienced a driver get that worked up he stopped the coach and shouted BE QUIET NOW OR YOU'RE GETTING OFF AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. The rest of the coach broke into applause.

That's the inverse of your anecdote because while mine is vivid and places the emphasis on behaviour, yours adds the detail for no particular reason than to say 'who was black by the way'.

To sum up, this is how easy it is to be even slightly better of a person.

Cuellar

I fucking love kicking people out of seats when they're sitting there illegally.

Best one was some smug bastards on the Eurostar a year or two ago -
"Ah I think these are our seats"
"No, this is coach E, you've got F, see?"
"...This is coach F, E is the next one along"
"Don't think so!"
"Yes, look up there it says F"
"...Oh ha ha, oops! Ha ha"

Cue them trying to make light of it, struggling with their baggage in the overhead bit, gathering belongings while holding everyone else up. I didn't help at all naturally. Best part was I gave them ZERO banter back. Not even a smile, didn't even speak to them after pointing out their error. Stone cold. FUCK OFF.

Marner and Me

I'm meant to be going out with some friends tomorrow and it involves a train, I fucking hate trains, so tempted to not even go.

Sony Walkman Prophecies

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on January 31, 2020, 04:35:55 PM
Generally if you mention someone's race for no particular reason, it looks a bit bad.

For example, I was once trapped on a megabus with a mega fucking cunt who decided that what everyone wanted to hear was him swanning down the aisle with an acoustic guitar performing reggae, and interspersing that with questioning people's religious beliefs, while smelling really bad. It's the one time I have experienced a driver get that worked up he stopped the coach and shouted BE QUIET NOW OR YOU'RE GETTING OFF AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. The rest of the coach broke into applause.

That's the inverse of your anecdote because while mine is vivid and places the emphasis on behaviour, yours adds the detail for no particular reason than to say 'who was black by the way'.

To sum up, this is how easy it is to be even slightly better of a person.

Professional offence-taking.

It's quite simple: if I'd been in Nigeria and a Frenchman had kicked off, I'd have mentioned he was French. If I neglected to do that, it would reflect unfairly on the whole country. The details here are credible and important. They aren't pieces of unconscious abuse. And, as it happens, I know French well enough to know the West African guy in question wasn't native French. He was not an ordinary integrated member of French society. So yeah, it does matter that he wasn't French.

If you wan't to believe you're more accepting of other people because you refuse to ever mention anyone's race though, that's fine though. Tweet away.

bgmnts

Its inefficient and shit because its privatised.

Cuellar

Quote from: Sony Walkman Prophecies on January 31, 2020, 05:05:10 PM
He was not an ordinary integrated member of French society. So yeah, it does matter that he wasn't French.

If it's one thing the ordinary integrated French are known for it's politeness and deference in the face of authority.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: bgmnts on January 31, 2020, 05:07:36 PM
Its inefficient and shit because its privatised.

And the profits ofter get ploughed into other foreign public transport systems, because the operators are state owned.

Captain Z

If someone was in my seat and refused to move I reckon I'd just sit on their lap.

chveik

Quote from: Cuellar on January 31, 2020, 05:12:08 PM
If it's one thing the ordinary integrated French are known for it's politeness and deference in the face of authority.

hehe.

Gurke and Hare

Quote from: Sony Walkman Prophecies on January 31, 2020, 04:28:59 PMEven the French have got this stuff sorted.

I caught a train from Nice to Marseilles last June, and it was fucking rotten. Nowhere to put luggage, packed (I was lucky enough to get a seat, but it had one of those ashtrays European trains inexplicably still have poking badly into my knee) with the man sitting next to me falling asleep with his head on my shoulder. The TGV I caught from Marseilles to Montpelier was lovely though. That seems to be the thing with European railways (especially France) - great at the top end, less so on the slower services. Except the Dutch railways, which are all great in my experience.

Head Gardener


Ray Travez

Worst bag-on-seat guy I encountered was on the megabus to manchester. He was sat in the window seat, but when the coach stopped to let on passengers, he moved to the aisle seat, got his laptop out and pretended to be working. Then when it set off again, he put his laptop away, moved back to the window. A spectacularly brazen selfish cunt!

Quote from: Shoulders?-Stomach! on January 31, 2020, 04:35:55 PM
Generally if you mention someone's race for no particular reason, it looks a bit bad.

For example, I was once trapped on a megabus with a mega fucking cunt who decided that what everyone wanted to hear was him swanning down the aisle with an acoustic guitar performing reggae, and interspersing that with questioning people's religious beliefs, while smelling really bad. It's the one time I have experienced a driver get that worked up he stopped the coach and shouted BE QUIET NOW OR YOU'RE GETTING OFF AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. The rest of the coach broke into applause.

That's the inverse of your anecdote because while mine is vivid and places the emphasis on behaviour, yours adds the detail for no particular reason than to say 'who was black by the way'.

To sum up, this is how easy it is to be even slightly better of a person.

The "reagge" bit hints at his ethnicity a little.

thugler

Quote from: shiftwork2 on January 30, 2020, 06:45:10 PM
You're a decent sort.  You'd say 'is this seat taken?' before you took a seat on a busy train, wouldn't you?  Apparently not for this absolute melt.

Discuss the coarsening of our culture and the neoliberal every-man-for-himself prevailing attitude and its effect on basic manners and consideration in posts that you write underneath this one, alright cheers

No

I feel if someone is sitting in one of a double seat then it's not right for me to take the other- they'd probably find it intrusive, so I'll stand. This feeling does, admittedly, fade for journeys of over an hour or so.

Dex Sawash


Mister Six

Quote from: earl_sleek on January 31, 2020, 09:12:37 AM
This. Although partly because I've observed that it makes people less likely to sit next to you - possibly because it looks like you want someone to sit there, and only the worst of freaks actively want to sit next to someone on a train.

Which means that the worst of freaks will sit next to you if you don't block the space with your bag.