Roll on/spray/other. How do you stop yourself being a stinking fucking prick?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Roll on works far better than any spray for me, and I can't use anti-perspirant spray as the sweat inhibitors make me itch. Spray deodorant, the Lynxy stuff is rubbish at stopping you from smelling bad, I find. 10 minutes of perfume followed by a full day of aroma coagulation with whatever gross sebumy crap you emit from your gland holes.

Roll on is a little on the damp side for some but I got used to it and now smell the least of shit that I ever have done.

[Sebastian Cobb]

sure (purple) or right guard (green) depending which happens to be on special that week.

[Sin Agog]

You could shave all your pubic bits until you resemble a sleek, sexy seal.  Body hairs are odour-forests.

[Sebastian Cobb]

if you use a roll on down there i bet it looks like a baby mouse sleeping in a greasy nest,

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

You could shave all your pubic bits until you resemble a sleek, sexy seal.  Body hairs are odour-forests.

That said, I bet seals stink.

[Butchers Blind]

Mitchum roll-on for the pits.  Brut deodorant for the all over spray.

[Sebastian Cobb]

That said, I bet seals stink.

just ask trevor horn

[Sin Agog]

Alternatively you could try not moving.  I mean, you'll need a little latitude for your heartbeats and the occasional breath, but other than that I bet not moving will make your deodorant last far longer.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Mitchum roll-on for the pits.  Brut deodorant for the all over spray.

That Mitchum ain't bad. Brut is definitely a bold option. Hi everyone, smell at me bro! Yes that's right. Brut. Any problems/questions?

[bgmnts]

Roll on just for environmental reasons and it works just as well, baffled my brain that cunts still go with aerosol.

[Better Midlands]

just ask trevor horn

Apparently it was a lot better when he shaved off the dreads.

[Inspector Norse]

Roll-on, the Lynx ("Axe" as they call it outside GREAT britian) anti-everything ones seem to work well although not sure how good they are for the environment, must be all manner of chemical bollocks in there.
I have a three-year-old daughter with a really strong sense of smell and she is perfectly happy to let people know if they smell bad, for example after running or eating garlic, so pretty sure my roll-on regime works as she doesn't comment on a typical day.

Also some other tips for really sweaty bastards: let armpits dry after showering before wiping on roll-on, then let roll-on dry before dressing. Also don't drink too much coffee in the morning as it makes you warm. Also don't live in fucking Spain or the desert or somewhere stupid like that.

[Norton Canes]

Roll on is a little on the damp side for some but I got used to it and now smell the least of shit that I ever have done

They do dry ones you know

[Kryton]

Ignore

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

£3.19?!

[Sebastian Cobb]

Also some other tips for really sweaty bastards: let armpits dry after showering before wiping on roll-on, then let roll-on dry before dressing. Also don't drink too much coffee in the morning as it makes you warm. Also don't live in fucking Spain or the desert or somewhere stupid like that.

Are you wearing the deodorant or is it wearing you?

[Sebastian Cobb]

Also Lynx? Are you trying to get through a stressful meeting without anyone noticing your musk or are you trying to get fingers and tops at the school disco?

[Inspector Norse]

Also Lynx? Are you trying to get through a stressful meeting without anyone noticing your musk or are you trying to get fingers and tops at the school disco?

It's more that it's a choice between that and the supermarket own brand one (scents available: Pub Bog Dinge; Towel Game; Dog Owner) at the nearest shop.

[Jockice]

Roll on just for environmental reasons and it works just as well, baffled my brain that cunts still go with aerosol.

I use aerosol because - how shall I put this? - I have a problem with leakage from a certain part of my body and feel less smelly if I've sprayed round the immediate area. I do have some Body Shop roll-on (a birthday present a couple of years ago) in the bathroom that I use occasionally (and I had another in my swimming bag until some twat decided to break into my car last year. Great haul, my oldest pair of  trunks, a towel and toilet bag plus a little voice recorder and a tenner I had in the glove compartment).

But on this desk to this left I have some Nivea Men Black & White Original deodorant. And a selection of aftershaves (all presents: Paul Smith, Calvin Klein and Davidoff. I also have some XS in the bathroom.) Someday I'm going to mix them altogether and watch the world implode. While smelling lovely

[Pingers]

Ball or aerosol?

Neither, it's for my armpits

[idunnosomename]

I have been curating a musky husk for over 41 years now, just waiting for it to attract the right person

[Ray Travez]

I've got a stick deodorant that you rub on; it's nice, but I don't know what it is or who made it 'cos I peeled off the label. It's eucalyptus and tea-tree oil or something similar. Very pleasant smell.

[Dex Sawash]

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I have a problem with leakage from a certain part of my body and feel less smelly if I've sprayed round the immediate area

Ripe conditions for an inner ear infection, that.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I've got a stick deodorant that you rub on; it's nice

Disgusting

[Jockice]

Also Lynx? Are you trying to get through a stressful meeting without anyone noticing your musk or are you trying to get fingers and tops at the school disco?

I had a bottle of Lynx Africa shower gel that split open in my swimming bag in the car a couple of years ago.  I don't know why I even bought the stuff. Must have been on very cheap offer or something. I don't think I could go within half a mile of someone wearing it without retching nowadays. Which means that my ultimate nightmare is being in the same room as someone who has been eating curry, smoking cigars, drinking whisky and has that stuff on.

[wooders1978]

Gotta concur with the Mitchum roll on lads, I'm a changed man since that entered my life

Aqua di Parma for the cologne - I like to pretend I'm a middle class 50 something Mediterranean type when I wear it, which i am very much not in reality

[holyzombiejesus]

I use a pump dispenser one. I thought it had been discontinued but I saw it in the women's section in Boots the other day.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Suppository deodorants, whatever next!

[Endicott]

I've been told on impeccable authority that there are medical conditions where you just don't sweat. Possibly you need to undergo some sort of trauma but gotta be worth it right?