The shitness of dating and indifference from the opposite sex

[shiftwork2]

^^^ Nice and/or clarification; must have had pint-sized slapheads going in on a technicality.

[phes]

But if she can't take me at my baldest, she doesn't deserve me at my best (after an easyJet flight to Istanbul for a transplant).

I read one of these recently and paraphrasing it was

"If you can't take me at what you have wrongly assumed to be my worst then strap in because I am a total cunt"

Which was a nice palate cleanser

[touchingcloth]

I like all girls, me; Spice Girls...         ...plain.

[phes]

I like all girls, me; Spice Girls...         ...plain.

Bez releases Lizzo cover

I have to move to Worcester in a few weeks. Dating deso awaits

[Pdine]

I think that the thing about social media in general, and I guess online dating in particular, is that you accept schematisation for efficiency's sake. When your self-expression has to go into a template, which sits alongside a thousand other templates, you're forced to squash your individuality in both those dimensions: you can't break out of the template's fenced fields and you are painfully aware of where your own self-representation falls short of those selves represented on the surrounding cards in the stack. Both these factors tend to create the low variance OP is commenting on: duckface, angle shot, nightclub, jet ski, Machu fucking Picchu, ten lads mad etc. I stopped using Facebook years ago because people I knew to be lovely nevertheless came across as dull, needy and embarrassing when they chose that medium of self-expression. In fact that sometimes helps me with these things. When Twitter or any other of these efficient, procrustean streams of self-declaration seem just too fucking awful to bear and you begin to wonder whether people deserve to exist at all, you can look at how the people you know are decent, loveable, fascinating - because you see them in real life -nevertheless come across as poorly rolled RPG characters on their social media streams.

[BlodwynPig]

Bez releases Lizzo cover

I have to move to Worcester in a few weeks. Dating deso awaits

https://worlddatingguides.com/worcester/

Looks alright, there is also Boston

[BlodwynPig]

Oh you mean Worcester UK!

[drummersaredeaf]

3astside till I die.

[Dr Trouser]

it's nice that the youths in Worcester still like to pay tribute to Terry Nutkins

[momatt]

Bumble

Stay strong, Bumble can be great fun.
I was single and sad this time last year.  Now I'm happy, engaged to a lovely lady and making big awesome plans.

Also met some other nice people on the way.  But it can be a proper fucking slog at times.  Just swipe right on everybody and see what happens.

Yeah, most profiles are annoyingly shit (group photos, dog filters, 'gin' as a hobby), but those people are likely to be awful dullards who won't take it seriously anyway.  You've almost got to treat it like a second job and just go on as many dates as possible.
X

As we both in a cultural wasteland, my girlfriend is no also using bumble to meet friends (there is a different version of the app for that) and was met some lovely friends too.  I asked her nicely not have sex with any of them though.

[Buelligan]

I genuinely think humans are disappointing as life-partners.  The more specialised and rare you've evolved, the less likely it is that you'll ever meet someone truly compatible. 

I wanted someone that pleased my eyes and my mind, someone that could teach me a thing or two but didn't treat me like a child.  Turns out, it's just not possible, so I agreed to live with them in a quantum reality, worked out perfect.

Being serious, I do believe that we humans are constantly bombarded with messages from outside and within, insisting that we cannot be complete, cannot be alive, cannot be us, without pairing up.  Absolute balderdash.  Ask people serving in the far end of a long relationship, many, many, of them feel alone and trapped.  Unhappy.  Let it go, build your own good life, let the rest fall as it will.

[madhair60]

Y'all

Stopped reading there.

[madhair60]

I will probably be single very soon so I'm staring into the "dating" abyss, I don't think I'll bother my arse to be honest. Dating profile would basically be hi, I'm tall but don't let that fool you into thinking I have anything but a small knob.

[imitationleather]

I will probably be single very soon so I'm staring into the "dating" abyss, I don't think I'll bother my arse to be honest. Dating profile would basically be hi, I'm tall but don't let that fool you into thinking I have anything but a small knob.

I think you could do a lot worse than hitting my mum up. I reckon you'd be a sweet couple.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I suggest you fuck it all off and buy a cave.

[GMTV]

I suggest you fuck it all off and buy a cave.

And dedicate your life to posting relentlessly on CaB

[Clownbaby]

Although Bumble forces the woman to go first

See, I don't like this about it. I'd rather you could choose in settings if you want it to be women first or open to either man or woman, I dunno. I get why they've done it but the one saving grace about nasty messagers is they usually are nasty straight off the bat in my experience. Getting a nasty message straight away before I've opened with a nice one like I've avoided embarrassment and disappointment more. But on the flipside I suppose guys may like the women-only initiation more cause they can suss out actual interest/are sick of initiating themselves. I just don't like it being an unchangeable security option because honestly I've had a whole life so far of guys not really wanting to approach me and being told it has to be me initiating everytime, oddly doesn't make feel empowered. Using the block or typing ''fuck off'' did

[Clownbaby]

I think that the thing about social media in general, and I guess online dating in particular, is that you accept schematisation for efficiency's sake. When your self-expression has to go into a template, which sits alongside a thousand other templates, you're forced to squash your individuality in both those dimensions: you can't break out of the template's fenced fields and you are painfully aware of where your own self-representation falls short of those selves represented on the surrounding cards in the stack. Both these factors tend to create the low variance OP is commenting on: duckface, angle shot, nightclub, jet ski, Machu fucking Picchu, ten lads mad etc. I stopped using Facebook years ago because people I knew to be lovely nevertheless came across as dull, needy and embarrassing when they chose that medium of self-expression. In fact that sometimes helps me with these things. When Twitter or any other of these efficient, procrustean streams of self-declaration seem just too fucking awful to bear and you begin to wonder whether people deserve to exist at all, you can look at how the people you know are decent, loveable, fascinating - because you see them in real life -nevertheless come across as poorly rolled RPG characters on their social media streams.

Absolutely agree with all of this yeah.

[Buelligan]

And dedicate your life to posting relentlessly on CaB

Bit cunty.

Not that I give a fucking toss.  Nevertheless, thanks for making the effort.

[a peepee tipi]

Edit glitch removal

[a peepee tipi]

Edit: please excuse me I am drunk

[a peepee tipi]

Be a single man on a dating site lol.

Fuck knows, I tend to converse in a different dimension to people, it's a skill I have. being ugly helps, people are much more tolerant of lookers.

You're funny as fuck, have you tried staying in that zone? On the dating apps at least, keeping things light and saving deeper conversation for the date itself is often for the best. With friendship, even with common interests you're more drawn to people you enjoy being around and who amuse you - the other person is a lot less likely to go silent or worse if they think you're fun just from a few messages.

Another thing too, and I think Clownbaby's post sort of corroborates this, I've found that it's not always easy to get beyond the surface level of flirting at times with women of our age because it's easy (and understandable) for them to think that men are only affecting emotional intelligence to get sex. I'm a bi man who has only been in one very shitty relationship with a woman who was just as fucked up as me at my worst, I've tried being vulnerable and am foolishly quick to get intimate and it never seems to last more than a night, and it's always a surprise finding out that that is all it will be and it is so fucking deflating. So I certainly understand the lack of faith.

I like the apps though, I've always hated the way I look, I'm incredibly short and still sound the way I did when I was 14, and I've never had much optimism when it comes to dating. It took me a while to be okay with myself just as a person participating and operating in society, and even still my self-esteem is shot. I just have a hard time trusting the idea that someone could be attracted to me and even if we don't hit it off or they don't respond, so even being matched with is a nice feeling

[Pdine]

Bit cunty.

Yeah I thought so too.

[Sebastian Cobb]

The thought of having to write what amounts to a dating cv is what's keeping me prepared to die alone. That and the fact I have the personality of a chilly speculum.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

The thought of having to write what amounts to a dating cv is what's keeping me prepared to die alone. That and the fact I have the personality of a chilly speculum.

Aw. If it's any consolation, I'd happily insert you into my rectum, then you could open yourself up, and I in turn would open up to you.

[Blue Jam]

- "You're a woman, you could have sex with anyone you want, it's much harder for men to meet people" Nah. It's equally difficult for some men and some women

Amen- I hate this attitude so much. Often you get incel and MRA types whining that life is easier for women because they can get laid by just existing because there will always be men who are desperate for sex, but that's like saying "You can get all the free food you want, but the catch is that you have to forage for it from bins- it might not be to your taste, it might not be safe, but hey, the point still stands".

Also it works both ways- there are plenty of desperate women, plenty of promiscuous ones, but a lot of men won't even consider those women...

- "Your standards are too high you're not going to bump into a male model" Honey I don't want to.

- "You're probably plain and the people you're picking are way out of your league"

The "looks match" thing is another bit of bollocks that seems to have emerged of late. Attraction is a weird thing, totally subjective and not to be predicted by giving someone a score out of ten and expecting them to go for someone with the same score.

I had enough bad experiences with dating in my twenties but modern dating sounds like it would be even worse. Part of me wishes Tinder had been around earlier so I could have had a bit of fun with it, but a much larger part of thinks it would just be depressing. Shopping for a date with specific criteria like you're searching for a specific dress on Asos, and treating dating like a bit of a hobby, lining up multiple dates and never giving anyone a chance, with the attitude that there could always be someone better around the corner... I'm glad I'm out of the game.

I met someone when I wasn't looking- I know that old cliche isn't very helpful, but personally I'm glad there's still a little bit of truth in it. The one time I tried online dating- Guardian Soulmates- years ago I came away thinking  "this just isn't for me" and I'm glad people can and do still meet offline.

Anyway, good luck to you Clownbaby. I remember your pic and you most certainly aren't plain, and I enjoy your posts on here and I suspect you are probably funny and charming in real life too. There's someone out there for you I'm sure.

[Buelligan]

I find the looks thing horrific.  I know a man, who likes me a lot, he's pretty much exactly the sort of man, looks-wise, that appeals.  But in the head, fuck me, that man's a pig.  Having any sort of relationship with him, any sort, would injure my mind.  He's not dim or anything, just likes to kill things, is greedy, sexist, a bit racist, proud and rich.

Having sex with a beautiful person whose mind is ugly is really horror film stuff.

[Quote]

I was minding my own business on a night out on Saturday and these girls came up to me and my mates, being drunken and flirty and what-not. They decided they were going to guess our ages, for reasons unknown - we're all similar ages, within a year or two of each other. They immediately decided my mates were both mid-to-late 20's then they just point at me and go "he looks about 40", "oh yeah, he's well old..." then they proceeded to rub it in a bit more: "I bet you're the nice one aren't you? The quiet one who never gets much action..."

Yeah, alright - I got the fucking message. I look like an thousand-year old mummified corpse and my mates make me look like a sack of shit in comparison. Jesus.

Why I would I bother with online rejection and mockery when I can just stumble upon it in the real world whilst going about my normal life?

[GMTV]

Yeah I thought so too.

Yeah I was, apologies.

[Better Midlands]

Is there some sort of algorithm which pushes you down in the pack after a while, because I'm getting zero interest now after getting several bites at the beginning? I'm no oil-painting at all but the complete drop off is weird.

Yes, delete your profile and start a new one with new pics/patter if possible.

Regarding "looks match", as mentioned upthread a lot of people are treating it like shopping on ASOS for a new dress and as such are thinking how you'd look together as a couple on the 'Gram.