The shitness of dating and indifference from the opposite sex

[madhair60]

I find the looks thing horrific.  I know a man, who likes me a lot, he's pretty much exactly the sort of man, looks-wise, that appeals.  But in the head, fuck me, that man's a pig.  Having any sort of relationship with him, any sort, would injure my mind.  He's not dim or anything, just likes to kill things, is greedy, sexist, a bit racist, proud and rich.

Having sex with a beautiful person whose mind is ugly is really horror film stuff.

(Writing down on pad of paper while mumbling) Pretend... to be... good person...

[Pdine]

I find the looks thing horrific.  I know a man, who likes me a lot, he's pretty much exactly the sort of man, looks-wise, that appeals.  But in the head, fuck me, that man's a pig.  Having any sort of relationship with him, any sort, would injure my mind.  He's not dim or anything, just likes to kill things, is greedy, sexist, a bit racist, proud and rich.

Sounds hot. Give him my number.

[phes]

The thought of having to write what amounts to a dating cv is what's keeping me prepared to die alone. That and the fact I have the personality of a chilly speculum.

Mine's 15 words long. And yes, one of them is bald

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I was minding my own business on a night out on Saturday and these girls came up to me and my mates, being drunken and flirty and what-not. They decided they were going to guess our ages, for reasons unknown - we're all similar ages, within a year or two of each other. They immediately decided my mates were both mid-to-late 20's then they just point at me and go "he looks about 40", "oh yeah, he's well old..." then they proceeded to rub it in a bit more: "I bet you're the nice one aren't you? The quiet one who never gets much action..."

Yeah, alright - I got the fucking message. I look like an thousand-year old mummified corpse and my mates make me look like a sack of shit in comparison. Jesus.

Why I would I bother with online rejection and mockery when I can just stumble upon it in the real world whilst going about my normal life?

Definitely bald this one lads. Premature too, it sounds like. Gooble Gobble.

Edit: Quote from Quote. I like that.

[Blue Jam]

Regarding "looks match", as mentioned upthread a lot of people are treating it like shopping on ASOS for a new dress and as such are thinking how you'd look together as a couple on the 'Gram.

What I meant by that was people complaining that a lot of women apparently specify men over 6' tall only, and a lot of men specify women who are of slender build, plus all the age requirements etc. I know it seems unfair to shorter men, larger women etc but if you can put your ideal attributes into a search, then that's what you're going to do isn't it?

In any case it's horrible: you just can't shop for humans like that because someone who seems ideal on paper may still have all the sex appeal of a scotch egg. People may have types, but you can't predict chemistry.

[phes]

What I meant by that was people complaining that a lot of women apparently specify men over 6' tall only, and a lot of men specify women who are of slender build, plus all the age requirements etc. I know it seems unfair to shorter men, larger women etc but if you can put your ideal attributes into a search, then that's what you're going to do isn't it?

In any case it's horrible: you just can't shop for humans like that because someone who seems ideal on paper may still have all the sex appeal of a scotch egg. People may have types, but you can't predict chemistry.

No problem with this at all, but what does make my teeth itch is utterly the cunty

'I'm 5ft 10" so you need to be tall'

[bgmnts]

Get on fabswingers for five minutes you'd all fucking explode.


Is Clownbaby married yet?

[gilbertharding]

I was minding my own business on a night out on Saturday and these girls came up to me and my mates, being drunken and flirty and what-not. They decided they were going to guess our ages, for reasons unknown - we're all similar ages, within a year or two of each other. They immediately decided my mates were both mid-to-late 20's then they just point at me and go "he looks about 40", "oh yeah, he's well old..." then they proceeded to rub it in a bit more: "I bet you're the nice one aren't you? The quiet one who never gets much action..."

Yeah, alright - I got the fucking message. I look like an thousand-year old mummified corpse and my mates make me look like a sack of shit in comparison. Jesus.

Why I would I bother with online rejection and mockery when I can just stumble upon it in the real world whilst going about my normal life?

Dude - they were flirting with you.

[Quote]

Definitely bald this one lads. Premature too, it sounds like. Gooble Gobble.

Balding. Reckon I've got a couple of years before these rotten genes fully rob me of hair.

I'll be looking back wistfully on the days when I received even dismissive, mocking female attention.

[phes]

Get on fabswingers for five minutes you'd all fucking explode.


Is Clownbaby married yet?

I checked that out but it seems you have to get in a 12 month queue for a hook up so fuck that. Also the whole review system is understandable but, well, weird.

[bgmnts]

I once drunkenly asked a woman for a hug on New Years Eve 3 years ago, during the celebrations, and she said no because I am "a fat ugly cunt."

Which seemed harsh at the time.

[bgmnts]

I checked that out but it seems you have to get in a 12 month queue for a hook up so fuck that. Also the whole review system is understandable but, well, weird.

They're incredible, they read like punting reviews.

[phes]

They're incredible, they read like punting reviews.

It took 6 months to get a date but boy was it worth it. I met this beautifully turned out woman for a vino. She held an interesting and insightful conversation and within an hour we were back at hers where she was draining me and lapping up my cum like a thirsty cat. Incredible mouth skills. Incredible woman. Can't wait to meet again! X

etc

The site would never work for me because even if I could get a date, I couldn't in all seriousness display reviews

Besides which, if all you're after really is just a straight up hook-up then it must be a hell of a lot easier to just use a reputable 'sauna'

NSWF



Free wine and a(?) chocolate

[Sebastian Cobb]

Mine's 15 words long. And yes, one of them is bald

I once saw one in the Scotads that had 'unemployed TV watcher, shaved head'

[phes]

I once saw one in the Scotads that had 'unemployed TV watcher, shaved head'

Hi, my name is George. I'm unemployed, and I live with my parents

[wooders1978]

The "about 40" story earlier reminded me of a bleak moment t in my life I'd blotted out
Me and 2 mates went mountain climbing in Wales - after the climb we headed to a local pub where 2 girls, one of which immediately made it clear to my mate he was very, very much in there

i got chatting to her friend and we hit it off pretty well, or so I thought, because at last orders her mate pointed to me and my other mate and told her, pick one and let's go


to my dismay she, and to be fair to her she feigned making her mind up, picked my mate who had previously not shown any interest in even talking to her all night and off they scuttled to their flat leaving me to cut a lonely path to the b&b

[GMTV]

My best online meet was a girl who I'd been talking to for a few months, and finally arranged to meet. She was with her mates just outside a pub, and there was a cash machine beside the pub. I said hi how you doing, just getting some money out. They waited, and then we all proceeded to walk into the pub where they all got in and I got knocked back. Never saw or heard from her again.

[Hat FM]

when i was on tinder a few years back i got talking to some 'girl' who got my number, chatted with me on whatsapp then sent me some naughty videos before suggesting we meet in a hotel in croydon (deso). I resisted presuming there would be some big guys waiting at said hotel to take my money (and possibly my anal virginity) so swerved it. does this sort of thing usually happen on tinder?

[Blue Jam]

No problem with this at all, but what does make my teeth itch is utterly the cunty

'I'm 5ft 10" so you need to be tall'

To be fair this works both ways. We have this horrible society that tells us men need to be protective and women need to be protected, that a man being shorter than his girlfriend is the most emasculating thing ever, that a woman who is taller than her boyfriend in heels is unfeminine etc.

I personally don't give a fuck about height but those men who go for petite women "because I like to feel protective" give me the creeps. Also I'm 164cm with (UK) size 7 feet and once had a bloke tell me "Urrrrgghh, I hate birds with big feet!", but I suspect this particular bloke had probably been kicked in the bollocks quite a lot.

[phes]

Oh I get it, see also the endless sex-shaming women perpetrate against one another on dating apps. I get it, I know that I'll always get an easy ride (wahey etc) by comparison. It's still depressingly cunty to see

[Blue Jam]

see also the endless sex-shaming women perpetrate against one another on dating apps

Could you expand on that please? I know about internalised misogyny and how women do this in real life but I have no experience of them doing it on dating apps. Is it "I'm not like other girls"-type stuff?

It's all horrible though, yes.

[Shaky]

Yes, delete your profile and start a new one with new pics/patter if possible.

Regarding "looks match", as mentioned upthread a lot of people are treating it like shopping on ASOS for a new dress and as such are thinking how you'd look together as a couple on the 'Gram.

Cheers. I'd heard about people deleting and starting a new profile but I guess a certain pigheadedness kicked and I refused to concede defeat. Maybe I need to fight this bitch on it's own terms.

[checkoutgirl]

Y'all pray for me I installed Bumble on my phone. I dont know why, ill probably delete it after 2 weeks. You best believe Bumble is still 70% oiks from school and 29% lads in climbing gear posing on a fell, wearing stupid shaped sunglasses and their second photo is them in a nightclub hugging 3 drunk lasses at once, just like Tinder. Oh you like Netflix do you? That's about as revealing as saying you have feet. You like someone with a sense of humour? Pretty sure everyone does, even boring people with a shit sense of humour still have one. I kid obviously, I know it's shit trying to think of something interesting to put about yourself in a bio and they do recommend you put up pics of yourself doing wholesome physical things so you look adventurous and healthy

If your one picture is of you amongst 10 other mates in a pub and someone else has took the photo so you're not the focus of the picture, I'm going to assume you're one of the pints. I've been in a pissy stupid mood lately because a lad I vaguely fancied likes every lasses' Instagram photos but mine it seems. Yes it's childish of me and I'm not even that arsed about him, still I'm human and humans can be petty. I don't want to become bitter cause I'm only 23 but repeated, persistent indifference just weighs you down after a while.

Also I don't know what it is about me that attracts emotionally needy men that are twice my age, who I always find out just scattershot messages to various other lasses I know as well over facebook at midnight whining about how depressed they are, so that doesnt really count as attention eh. The only person my age who made their interest in me actually legit and concrete is a total away with the fairies drughead who is a spot-on mate but absolutely would be a nightmare to actually date.

It's always a tricky thing to talk to people about because the usual answers pop up

- "You're a woman, you could have sex with anyone you want, it's much harder for men to meet people" Nah. It's equally difficult for some men and some women

- "Your standards are too high you're not going to bump into a male model" Honey I don't want to.

- "You're probably plain and the people you're picking are way out of your league" I'm not plain. I don't mind saying that. I don't think having pride in your appearance and thinking you're not that horrendous looking should automatically mean you're big headed. I don't think I'm ugly, because I'm not. I don't think I dress badly either. I don't think my figure is bad. I've been feeling quite good about my figure lately because my new job is keeping the flab off a bit. I would not dream of ever acting smug or telling people I was a catch though. That's big headed. Not being hard on yourself for how you look, is not. Thing is though, all of this is kind of irrelevant anyway because everyone has a different opinion themselves on what is attractive or not. Plain or not plain is different to most people

- "Go out and meet people" There's only so much of that I can do. And I know so many people who are borderline shut ins and still somehow get through em

I could question what it is about me or anyone else who struggles to attract the opposite sex what exactly is wrong all day but it seems to be completely random. Finding love or even just a nice lil hookup is shit. Everything is shit. I'm shit and everyone else is shit. Excuse me while I get into this bin. I'm not feeling great at the moment. I'm sure posting anonymously on a forum is going to make me feel much better and I certainly won't regret it. I'm not even drunk! I haven't drank a single thing and I'm still whining like a twat

I would like to point out before some smart cunt inevitably tries to use it against me - this is an anonymous written rant. I don't get this intense when I talk in the real world unless I'm around people I love or am close friends with and who have expressed an interest in hearing me vent in the first place. Many of you may have read this whole thing and thought "well no wonder she isn't finding any lads are interested in her being that gobby and bad tempered." Believe it or not I have enough self-awareness to know what would be toxic and unattractive to go on about to people, especially to people I wanted to date

Not being critical or anything but a big thing in your favour is you're only 23. In the grander scheme of human chronology you are still a baby. No matter how bad it seems you will still have youth on your side for at least another 5 years which is fantastic stuff, believe me.

I'm not going to give advice on dating as that would be like your local celibate priest giving advice on oral sex. You've got time on your side and as long as you can manage to avoid going insane in the next few years I'm sure someone will come along.

To be honest I feel really sorry for girls as pretty much all male humans make me sick. I don't envy any woman who has to actually have physical sexual contact with a man. Good luck with that though.

[Blue Jam]

One thing I remember from my brief time on Guardian Soulmates was the question about drinking alcohol. I put "moderate drinker"- I'm not teetotal, I'm not an alky, but I enjoy a drink and my ideal fella would be someone I could go down the pub with and share a bottle of wine with over dinner. I was then surprised to see myself getting matches where over 90% of our answers were aligned, but the second most common place where they weren't was drinking. Loads of men on there admitted to being moderate drinkers but were still looking for a woman who drinks "very little" or "not at all". Imagine that- sipping on a lime and soda while he gets pissed and sits there judging you if you decide you want a large glass of wine rather than half a lager.

The number one area of incompatibility was body type. I put "curvy" while most men wanted "slim" or "athletic". I guess "curvy" is often seen as a euphemism for "fat" though.

[bgmnts]

Could you expand on that please? I know about internalised misogyny and how women do this in real life but I have no experience of them doing it on dating apps. Is it "I'm not like other girls"-type stuff?

It's all horrible though, yes.

You'll see it a lot on fabswingers, which is primarily a sex site.

[Blue Jam]

Hang on, you mean people sex-shame other people on a sex site?

*head asplode*

[Better Midlands]

Cheers. I'd heard about people deleting and starting a new profile but I guess a certain pigheadedness kicked and I refused to concede defeat. Maybe I need to fight this bitch on it's own terms.

Don't feel bad about it you're fighting the algorithm, it's standard practice.

Also if you can face it run your photos through www.photofeeler.com to find the best- if you're looking for a female then pay as much attention to the trustworthy score as the attractive one.

[bgmnts]

Hang on, you mean people sex-shame other people on a sex site?

*head asplode*

Women sex shame women, yes.

[phes]

Could you expand on that please? I know about internalised misogyny and how women do this in real life but I have no experience of them doing it on dating apps. Is it "I'm not like other girls"-type stuff?

It's all horrible though, yes.

Yes. It is no surprise that when women are subject to sex shaming and bombarded by sexually aggressive messages that many take steps to protect themselves. Unfortunately a lot of it is not that kind of girl, I have morals and I'm worth more than that type stuff that feeds back into it. Presumably some people are just straight up hateful assholes, but if prefer to think it's just a shittily thought-out defence mechanism in most cases

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I was minding my own business on a night out on Saturday and these girls came up to me and my mates, being drunken and flirty and what-not. They decided they were going to guess our ages, for reasons unknown - we're all similar ages, within a year or two of each other. They immediately decided my mates were both mid-to-late 20's then they just point at me and go "he looks about 40", "oh yeah, he's well old..." then they proceeded to rub it in a bit more: "I bet you're the nice one aren't you? The quiet one who never gets much action..."

Similar thing has happened to me on maybe 3 or 4 occasions, albeit stretching back to late teens.

I expect some men were probably nasty to them previously and as bullying often works, it's just transference of the crap you feel when it's happening to you. Shame when it's at someone minding their business.

That's the kind of thing wearing a wedding ring would be perfect for. It's weird how many people suddenly desire something unappealing if you make it unobtainable.