Wedding list du Jour

[Adrian Brezhnev]

I'm sure I'm not the only one going to a wedding this summer.

The question is.... what to get a friend who already has everything he wants.

[TJ]

That photo of Rats appears to be the 'in' thing this season.

[Burn The Witch]

I'm rather predictable and buy whatever is left on the John Lewis, or heaven forfend, the Selfridges wedding list...usually ends up being a gravy boat, four forks and a soup spoon.

[Adrian Brezhnev]

No, it's John Lewis- but the invitations only went out this week, so there should still be plenty left on the list.

Actually, four forks and a Felch Spoon might be a good idea.

[Burn The Witch]

Get in there early and buy something that comes in a big box then! Makes you feel like an excellent friend.

[Adrian Brezhnev]

Loo rolls, bought in bulk, come in huge boxes, don't they. As do Corn Flakes.

The problem is though that I am not sure John Lewis sells either. The budget is a little tight at the moment, what with my impending homelessness, divorce, child custody battle, and Nigenan business dealings and everything.

[Burn The Witch]

I bet they could do you a lovely big box full of those packing bits that look like Wotsits for a reasonable enough price...imagine their little shining newlywed faces, unwrapping the gift, wondering what on earth you might have bought them, only to realise it was nothing.

I find bursting into tears usually helps no end when dealing with divorces, custody battles and homelessness...Nigerians are possibly going to be slightly less sympathetic than my ex tho. Not sure what to advise vis a vis the Nigerian thing actually.

[Adrian Brezhnev]

It's OK- the Nigerian thing is the least of my problems.

Whenever I receive a cheque for £2,500 from someone pretenting he's called John, I just bank it, and sit back waiting for the amusing letter when it bounces.

[mook]

Sorry for the slight thread de-rail, but this whole wedding list thing pisses me off, the last few weddings I've been forced to attend has been for people that have been living together for donkeys years anyway and should have by that time got most of the crap they needed anyway. I thought the whole idea of the wedding list was to help the newly weds get started in life, not to buy a bunch of new shit to replace the old shit the "happy couple" have fucked up in their time of living together.

[Purple Tentacle]

Don't buy anything "wacky" or "original", they won't thank you for it.

Get them £30 of John Lewis vouchers.

[terminallyrelaxed]

That photo of Rats appears to be the 'in' thing this season.

Indeed, although it would churlish not to include a frame. A .99p stainless steel one from the Oxfam shop should suffice.

[terminallyrelaxed]

Don't buy them anything at all. Smug bastards.

[Gazeuse]

Yes, it's a bloody cheek. People like me and Mrs. Gaz, happily living togethered for years but not married get bugger all.

I should get a medal at least and Mrs. Gaz demands compensation (Cash).

[TJ]

That photo of Rats appears to be the 'in' thing this season.

Indeed, although it would churlish not to include a frame. A .99p stainless steel one from the Oxfam shop should suffice.

I spy a monging opportunity for anyone who wants to take advantage of it...

[slim]

Sorry for the slight thread de-rail, but this whole wedding list thing pisses me off, the last few weddings I've been forced to attend has been for people that have been living together for donkeys years anyway and should have by that time got most of the crap they needed anyway. I thought the whole idea of the wedding list was to help the newly weds get started in life, not to buy a bunch of new shit to replace the old shit the "happy couple" have fucked up in their time of living together.

In complete agreeance here. I'm not a tightarse by any means, but I know people who have literally just married for the presents. Fuck them, I'm not going to buy some fucking plates for them - they can get into debt buying them like I had to.

That said, I'd happily take them out for a meal or whatever to celebrate.

[TraceyQ]

A gold sequin bolero.

[Burn The Witch]

Oooh very now. I'd heard that ponchos were out in favour of shrugs/boleros.

Good gift.

[TraceyQ]

Oooh very now. I'd heard that ponchos were out in favour of shrugs/boleros.

Good gift.

You are more correct than you could ever understand.

[The Man With Brass Eyes]

The question is.... what to get a friend who already has everything he wants.

(Joke about giving them your ex-girlfriend's rotting corpse)

Stephen Fry bought the Prince o' Wales weasle coffee.  Which is coffee that's been consumed and shat out by a weasle.  It's either been shitted out or vomited, one of those.  Ask the weasle.
See Selfridges for details (next to the honey-coated scorpians, to the left a bit of the Belgium chocolates).

[TraceyQ]

Those scorpions give me The Fear.

Point of note, while we are talking about gifts, that is is my birthday in 10 (TEN) days time. I have a paypal account (pm for details) for gifts of cash, my shoe size is seven and I am a size 12( twelve). Please do not send jewellery as I wont wear it and I don't want to appear ungrateful. Thank you.

[butnut]

Point of note, while we are talking about gifts, that is is my birthday in 10 (TEN) days time.

You're not the only one, Little Miss Greedy!

[Rubella]

Those scorpions give me The Fear.

Point of note, while we are talking about gifts, that is is my birthday in 10 (TEN) days time. I have a paypal account (pm for details) for gifts of cash, my shoe size is seven and I am a size 12( twelve). Please do not send jewellery as I wont wear it and I don't want to appear ungrateful. Thank you.

It's my birthday on Monday, Frinky's on Tuesday...lost of people I know are having birthdays soon too.

Edit: and butnut!

Um...as you were

I'd like a Pearl 5 piece drumkit with Zildjian cymbals for my birthday please.  In sparkly green.

[Gazeuse]

I'd like a Pearl 5 piece drumkit with Zildjian cymbals for my birthday please.  In sparkly green.

Don't forget to ask for some sticks and a rubber ring too!!!

[Rubella]

I'd like a Pearl 5 piece drumkit with Zildjian cymbals for my birthday please.  In sparkly green.

Don't forget to ask for some sticks and a rubber ring too!!!

Haha - I have some Stagg sticks already but no rubber ring :-)

I like to play my sofa.

[The Man With Brass Eyes]

Sorry for the slight thread de-rail, but this whole wedding list thing pisses me off...I thought the whole idea of the wedding list was to help the newly weds get started in life, not to buy a bunch of new shit to replace the old shit the "happy couple" have fucked up in their time of living together.

Yes, I quite agree.
I'm mixed feelings about wedding lists.  On one hand it's a "good idea" to avoid duplication and "get what you want"... but it's also a bit impersonal I think.  "here, I've bought you these Pyrex dishes and Jane Asher spaghetti fork to express my love for you both as a couple seeing that I've known you for over three decades now..."
Despite the "it's stuff we want" discrepancy, it always strikes me as being stupendously boring and lacking any creativity for something that's supposed to be this marvellously passionate day.  There's also the side-issue of not allowing your guests the chance to buy really thoughtful, innovative presents because they're just reading off a list.

[TraceyQ]

Anyone any ideas what I could give Frinky for his birthday?

[Rubella]

Anyone any ideas what I could give Frinky for his birthday?

Haha.  Gee, let me think....a De Lorean?

[TraceyQ]

I think that's a sore point at the minute. I need to be a little more sensitive.

[The Man With Brass Eyes]

I'd like a Pearl 5 piece drumkit with Zildjian cymbals for my birthday please.  In sparkly green.

I know a few drummer who have exploded.

[The Man With Brass Eyes]

Haha.  Gee, let me think....a De Lorean?

I can sort you out.  Meet me at Twin Pines mall at 1.20.  Bring Einnie.