Going apeshit at unisex bogs

[Shit Good Nose]

I'm not an expert in ladies toilets, but my wife assures me that they're frequently appalling.

That's good to hear. 

My defining memory of the bogs at gigs was seeing the JaMC at Brixton Academy in about 1994. There was quite a queue, which someone had decided to jump by pissing in the sink. The reason this was so striking was because without any effort at all on my part I could see his entire penis - which was pierced - in the mirror.

Pissing in the sink in a busy bog is something I've not thought of before, but it makes total sense - free cock wash after.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I pissed in the sink at a warehouse rave recently because there was only one male andffemale bog and people were taking ages to drugs in it, which, being a rave with no bouncers, they could've done in a corner.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

think it's fine to break the seat.

I was waiting for a chance to LAY INTO SOME EAST ASIANS and now it's here. Don't climb on to the toilet and grip the seat with your hands, guys. Because it doesn't work, does it? It just makes a mess.

[Dex Sawash]

Unisex bogs; not as sexy as it sounds

[Shit Good Nose]

Unisex bogs; not as sexy as it sounds

Does it not mean you can have sex with everyone?

I thought we were a progressive society now!

[Lord Mandrake]

Just have Shitting room and Pissing room (standing room only). That'll sort the wheat from the chaff.

[Marner and Me]

Sink pissing is fine, tbf, even if you couldn't wait for that you could piss in a pint glass and pour it down the sink.

This thread reminds me of Mark Lamarr on Room 101.

[Cuellar]

We were having our bathroom done a month or so ago and were without toilet for about TWO WEEKS which was bullshit, but I was like "well, I suppose, in extremis, I could...wee in the kitchen sink?", my partner was aghast "Oh god, really? I suppose if you HAVE to"

Lads (and ladies), I've been pissing in that sink since we moved in about 5 years ago. And I'm still doing it now the bathroom is finished.

[honeychile]

Please can gilbertharding, Shit Good Nose or some other cunt explain to me why there are almost always fewer hand dryers than wash basins and cubicles.

In a busy toilet - gig, shopping centre, influencer promotional event - steady and efficient traffic flow is essential. Why have eg 4 cubicles/equivalent urinal space, 4 basins but only 2 hand dryers? The lack of hand dryers causes a bottle neck as hapless service users are unable to graduate from the basin.

Surely if anything you want the opposite. Sometimes drying your hands can take longer than washing, especially with the inferior older dryers, in which case dryers should outnumber basins.

I saw this ever-present problem reach its nadir at a Labour party election campaign event in November, where it was - i think - 8 basins to 2 dryers.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Just dry your hands on your jeans for fucks sake.

[imitationleather]

just piss yourself ffs

[Shit Good Nose]

Please can gilbertharding, Shit Good Nose or some other cunt explain to me why there are almost always fewer hand dryers than wash basins and cubicles.

Sorry to say I can't give you a proper answer (sounds like gilbertharding should be able to stump up the goods), BUT one tradesman's answer I once had was "cos most cunts don't bother washing their hands".  Which was almost certainly a cynical response based on absolutely nothing at all.  On the other hand, the number of people I see who don't bother washing their hands, even after a shit...

[PlanktonSideburns]

We were having our bathroom done a month or so ago and were without toilet for about TWO WEEKS which was bullshit, but I was like "well, I suppose, in extremis, I could...wee in the kitchen sink?", my partner was aghast "Oh god, really? I suppose if you HAVE to"

Lads (and ladies), I've been pissing in that sink since we moved in about 5 years ago. And I'm still doing it now the bathroom is finished.

you piss

in the kitchen sink?

FUCK ON

[Cuellar]

Is that good?

[Sebastian Cobb]

One of my pals said he does that when it's late at night and his missus is upstairs asleep and doesn'tt want to wake her (can''t be arsed) by going up the stairs.

I said 'your back door is closer to you than the sink, why not go in your back garden'.

He just shrugged and said 'sometimes it's raining'.

[imitationleather]

you piss

in the kitchen sink?

FUCK ON

It's not unusual. Sometimes when my bathroom is engaged for ages (what is she doing in there?!) I have been known to shit into a condom. Later I satisfyingly squeeze the contents of the prophylactic into the bowl it was originally intended for while contemplating life. We can run from our destiny as much as we want, but we can never escape.

[Shit Good Nose]

I've mentioned before that one of my mates used to live in a four storey townhouse and the bog was on the ground floor.  The spare room was on the top floor.  I've never been able to go a whole night without getting up for a piss at least once.  I took a "glass of water" up with me, blatantly to use as a piss pot, which I emptied out the window.  Always made sure to remember to rinse it and put it straight in the dishwasher as soon as I got up the next morning.

Thank fuck they now live in a normal two storey with two bathrooms upstairs and a small cloakroom shitter downstairs.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Is that good?

NO IT ISNT

It's not unusual. Sometimes when my bathroom is engaged for ages (what is she doing in there?!) I have been known to shit into a condom. Later I satisfyingly squeeze the contents of the prophylactic into the bowl it was originally intended for while contemplating life. We can run from our destiny as much as we want, but we can never escape.

Cant bring myself to beleive this. where would you store the turd until your partner is out of there? its already in a perfect (your welcome) storage compartment as it is

[PlanktonSideburns]

also: 'been known?'

are you squatting into the garden to preform this atrocity?

[Gregory Torso]

It's not unusual. Sometimes when my bathroom is engaged for ages (what is she doing in there?!) I have been known to shit into a condom. Later I satisfyingly squeeze the contents of the prophylactic into the bowl it was originally intended for while contemplating life. We can run from our destiny as much as we want, but we can never escape.

I once diarrhoead into a plastic bag right in front of my own fully operational toilet, just to show it who was in charge.

[Cuellar]

NO IT ISNT

What? Why not?! It's just a sink.

He just shrugged and said 'sometimes it's raining'.

And the neighbours might see/hear. I often do it if I'm in the middle of something like playing computer games downstairs and can't be bothered to walk upstairs.

I think if I wasn't living with someone I'd be one of those neckbeards that just pisses into big empty two-litre bottles of coke and just leaves them under his desk.

[PlanktonSideburns]

What? Why not?! It's just a sink.

sorry i was being a bit hysterical for comic effect there - i guess im just a bit squirmish about piss in a food preperation area, - ill wind my neck in

[thenoise]

Do you move all the dirty dishes out of the way or just piss all over them too?

[Cuellar]

sorry i was being a bit hysterical for comic effect there - i guess im just a bit squirmish about piss in a food preperation area, - ill wind my neck in

Yeah I thought about that, and the proximity to recently washed up glasses/crockery and I thought fuck it I don't care.

[Cuellar]

Do you move all the dirty dishes out of the way or just piss all over them too?

No, move those out. Even though I would soon be washing them anyway. Good point, could save myself a fair chunk of time.

[imitationleather]

also: 'been known?'

are you squatting into the garden to preform this atrocity?

It is fun to revel in the pure opulence of having a massively inconvenient bowel movement that is nonetheless costing even more than using the loos at Kings' Cross station.

[PlanktonSideburns]

It is fun to revel in the pure opulence of having a massively incovenient bowel movement that is nonetheless costing even more than using the loos at Kings' Cross station.

its good to know that there are so many unknown pleasures waiting to be discovered

battered marsbars

pissing all the food off your plates while your wife shits

swinging a turd in a condom round like a prison guard with a set of keys

[touchingcloth]

Is it unisex or unispecies if the apes are shitting in them?

[Pijlstaart]

I've never mastered the social nous around shitting, and so they've ostracised me. Would prefer we all share a big open trough, percussion music, eye contact, maybe gig economy entrepreneurs could pan it for gold. In the fancier toilets you can have a merry diseased goat feeding from the trough, or a little japanese man rake calming zen-like patterns into our outpourings. To hide yourself away in a cubicle is an act of self-hatred, but I have heard you and I will set you free.

[Mr Farenheit]

I witnessed a woman 'going full unisex' in the men's toilets at Espionage nightclub in Edinburgh once.
She hammered on the doors of all the cubicles, shouting 'IS THIS THE JOBBY BIT?' but they were all full. Fortunately the urinal was the type where it's kind of a sunken trough at floor level. So she was able to squat over the edge and pee. Privacy was ensured by shouting 'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?' at the prudish bystanders.