It's not an experience i can see catching on, but neither is it one i regret

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Cunt walks into a multiple award-winning gelateria in Verona and asks for a fucking 99.

Like I'd be seen dead in something pretentious like a gelateria. Or Verona. Or Italy. I bet Italians don't order plaice from the chippy.

[Ferris]

Place near my old gaff in Sheffield offered to deep fry anything for a quid.

Imagine my surprise when rocking up to a new gaff in Edinburgh and finding a chippy offering the same service for 50p.

That's inflation for you.

[weekender]

That's Desolation for you, I think.

[Ferris]

Oh, I'm much too middle class to have ever ventured inside.

[Dex Sawash]

Yep.  The chocolate is fucking horrible and the peanut "butter" has a really odd texture.  But something about them just works.  Lightning in a bottle I reckon.

The hard serrated edge is important too, somehow. Reece's does football shapes, xmas trees, eggs, etc that are absolutely terrible.

[thenoise]

Well, I'm no Van Gogh or Rolf Harris but I gave it my best shot.

How did you manage to paint a back view self portrait?

I have no idea what I look like from the back, though I suspect it's rather hairy. I wonder if the boil I had removed from my bum a few years back left a scar?

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

How did you manage to paint a back view self portrait?

I have no idea what I look like from the back, though I suspect it's rather hairy. I wonder if the boil I had removed from my bum a few years back left a scar?

Mirrors. (You've still got a small scar but it's barely noticeable).