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March 29, 2024, 09:37:49 AM

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INSOLENT, GEEZER! STAY FRESH YEAH?

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, February 07, 2020, 07:13:58 AM

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Shoulders?-Stomach!

Theres a charity box guy in the Tesco near work that regales everyone leaving in different ways.

Guy with headphones on
MY MAN LISTENING TO THE CHOOOONz

Guy just wearing goth clothes
INSOLENT GEEZER! STAY FRESH, YEAH?

Me
EEEEEEEEEEZEAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY

I love the sheer bollocks on the bloke gulching out guff like this to order. Probably with the charity box he is fireproofed from having the shit kicked out of him, but even so.

But really I want to watch all day to see if he has a different hailing for everyone or just does 6 on a loop.

EYYY PARKINSONS, SHAKE IT EASY BRO, YEH... HEHE WICKED

FORTY LAMBERRRTTTZZZZ YEAH CANCER IT UP WINGMAN

BOOOOOM FIFTY FIVE YEAR OLD MAIIILLL CLEERRRRK

GENDERQUUUUUEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR

HEY BUBBLE BOY DEMOCRACYS COMING HOME YEAH

SLICK GAIT MISSUS, LOVE DAT STRIDE

GOD BE WITH YOU AND LOVE IN YOUR HEART FATTY DROOL MAN IN CART

DIS IS GLOVES DIS IS GLOVES DIS IS GLOVES WHAT YOU BUYIN

EY SANTA, KEEP THEM PRESENTS WARM YEAH, HEHE SAFE

TRIPLE AAAs YEAH YOU POWER THAT SHIT MAN, BRING IT

WELL MET PRINCESS - GARGANTUANN






PlanktonSideburns

PUBLIC SUICIDE - BETTER OUT THAN IN!

EDL MARCH- TAKES ALL SORTS I SUPPOSE, HAVE A GOOD UN

And he's a middle-class white man in his sixties.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

QuoteEDL MARCH- TAKES ALL SORTS I SUPPOSE, HAVE A GOOD UN

This nails the character first time. All he does is size someone up, in maybe 3 seconds flat then blurt out whatever goodwill or gee-up comment springs to mind.

Fuck knows what he does if you donate. Probably shag you right there in the store like a randy Labrador.

PlanktonSideburns

Like the sound of this guy I must admit

PIGEON EH? LOVELY PLUMAGE!

GMTV

Would've been a good guy to have standing beside you in the trenches if you were about to go over the top

touchingcloth

Yo you wanna give me lickle bick of cheddar for charity, Oxfam? Come on come on rude boi give it to me for the Mencapdem.

Cuellar

Did he really say 'insolent geezer'? If so I think that's lovely.

BlodwynPig

OI SHINY DOME, PULL THE FACKIN SHADES DOWN CUNT


That sort of thing?

madhair60

MALTEASERS, LIGHTER WAY TO ENJOY CHOCOLATE INNIT, BE LUCKY

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: BlodwynPig on February 07, 2020, 09:39:52 AM
OI SHINY DOME, PULL THE FACKIN SHADES DOWN CUNT


That sort of thing?

I got EEEEEEEEEEEEEEAZAAAAAAYYYYYYYY

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

PARAPLEGIC, YOU CAN'T WALK, NEVER MIND, EH?

madhair60

THREE KIDS!? 'KINELL CLOSE YER LEGS LOVE! NAH THOUGH

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

WANDA VENTHAM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ERE, YOU WERE WELL LUSH IN THEM HAMMER HORROR FILMS, STILL WOULD, DON'T TELL SHERLOCK

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

A GHOST, OOOOOH I'M FRIGHTENED,STAY SPOOKY, YEAH?

BlodwynPig

NATHAN BARLEY AS I LIVE AND BREATHE. WHY THE FACKIN SOUR FACE LEDGE?

Maybe he's got Tourettes and the only way he can live with it is by turning his outbursts into shout-outs.

BREKKY BOY, I EAT THREE, STAY MILKY BRUV!

the

I'm imagining him chummily labelling a passer-by INSOLVENT

Shoulders?-Stomach!

YESSSSSSS

I just went back Tesco and he was there.

Got fist bumped and he shouted YES MATE I HEAR YOU BRUV

Also called a woman a 'young chicken' before that

Cuellar


touchingcloth


Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Why does he say easy at you? Do you look easy?

Ferris


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Quote from: touchingcloth on February 07, 2020, 01:41:41 PM
Was it a chicken woman or a human one?

A human, he wasn't wandering down the poultry aisle. Maybe he bigs up items of stock when it's quiet.

touchingcloth

Quote from: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on February 07, 2020, 01:53:57 PM
Why does he say easy at you? Do you look easy?

It's because he looks like he has AIDS.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Oh shit he is back in Tesco, the Valentines bonhomie has been turned to schizo

'YOU GONNA BRING DEM ROSES IN TO ME YEAH, SLICK! SWITCH THAT ON!'

Charming to some women, I'm sure. I wonder if he keeps his charity box handy when he's approaching strangers in car parks.


Elderly Sumo Prophecy

He sounds like an annoying cunt. Chin him.


Elderly Sumo Prophecy

^ Am I allowed to still find that scene funny? All sorts of problematic shit going on. Guide me, CaB hivemind.