Mad wind.

[bgmnts]

No, I haven't just had a tin of beans, this storm should be coming soon and it's already getting a fair wind outside my home. Now my area is representative of the whole UK but want to know how everyone is getting on, are you all okay? Stocked for the weekend? Going outside may kill you.

[Cerys]

Going outside may always kill you.  You could be decapitated by a low-flying cormorant within yards of your door.  It happens.

[Sin Agog]

It's surreal living in a house after being on a boat for over a decade.  I...don't have to care about the weather anymore now I'm no longer a floating pleb.

[Annie Labuntur]

Saturday night and Sunday will be the worst. Seems like the whole of the UK have a weather warning, with a higher amber alert for South-East England #prayforLondon

[shiftwork2]

Fence blew down last year, put off fixing it.  Procrastination blinder

[bgmnts]

Going outside may always kill you.  You could be decapitated by a low-flying cormorant within yards of your door.  It happens.

Now imagine that cormorant flying on a gust of 100mph wind, deadly.

[Cerys]

Imagine two cormorants.  High speed pincer decapitation by two cormorants.  Imagine that.

[bgmnts]

Just came.

[Ray Travez]

It's surreal living in a house after being on a boat for over a decade.  I...don't have to care about the weather anymore now I'm no longer a floating pleb.

where did you live on a boat? What kind? /nosey

I wanted to live on a boat as a way of having my own place but it never happened.

[marquis_de_sad]

BREAKING: Experts believe that the air content of Storm Ciara will likely be made of up to 50% coronavirus vapours. The MET Office has advised anyone venturing outdoors to make significant savings on their breathing.

[steve98]

We should all be making significant reductions in our breathing output all the time; it shouldn't take a big storm to ram that home to us.

[Ray Travez]

SLAMMED IN THE BUTT BY A BIG GAY AMERICAN STORM

[weekender]

SLAMMED IN THE BUTT BY A BIG GAY AMERICAN STORM

Well, it is the Oscars soon.

[JesusAndYourBush]

A few nights ago it was windy and I heard what sounded like a tree falling down, but next morning when I looked there were no fallen trees.

[Cerys]

Probably felt embarrassed and got back up again.

[C_Larence]

A few nights ago it was windy and I heard what sounded like a tree falling down, but next morning when I looked there were no fallen trees.

If a tree doesn't fall in the woods but someone hears it, did it really not fall?

[Captain Crunch]

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When trampolines run in circles it's a very very
Mad wind.

[idunnosomename]

HAHA FARTS

[Shit Good Nose]

It's currently a lovely calm and mild day here in near-Bath - me and Little Nose have been to the park this morning.  But I'm not some denying Duncan - spent the last twenty minutes checking ours and our elderly neighbours' gardens to make sure anything that's blow-awayable and/or likely to cause damage if picked up by the wind is either stowed away or tied/weighed down.

A tad concerned about our shed as it is on its last legs and our neighbours on the other side park their car right next to it.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

A tad concerned about our shed as it is on its last legs...

Bit odd.

[Shit Good Nose]

Bit odd.

I wish it were in that good a state of repair...

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

But it is on legs, right? I'll be so disappointed if it's not. :(

[BlodwynPig]

I just saw a wind shove another wind into a lake

[Shit Good Nose]

But it is on legs, right? I'll be so disappointed if it's not. :(

Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but...they were amputated at birth...

I just saw a wind shove another wind into a lake

Was there a smaller wind stood behind the wind that did the shoving, waving a cloudy fist and going "yeeeeaaaahhhhh"?

[BlodwynPig]

Was there a smaller wind stood behind the wind that did the shoving, waving a cloudy fist and going "yeeeeaaaahhhhh"?

Yeh, litte sneering gust

[Shit Good Nose]

Yeh, litte sneering gust

Always the worst kind of winds.  Not that I'm windest, or anything.  Some of my best friends are small winds.

[Butchers Blind]

Two wind turbines in a field. One asks, "What's your favorite music?" The other says, "Well...I'm a huge metal fan"

Feel free to add your favourite wind related jokes.

[steve98]

I HATE Puffs

[idunnosomename]

Bit odd.

oh now i get pictures at an exhibition

[José]

actually, the gary jules version is shite.