Author Topic: British man to build 28 miles penis extension  (Read 1226 times)

British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« on: February 09, 2020, 08:59:10 PM »
Johnson is talking about building his ludicrous bridge over the Irish Sea again, according to the right wing junk press - and no doubt will make Ireland pay for it.  A man who failed to bridge the Thames is definitely the man I’d want to oversee a civil engineering project of this size.

If anyone else has stories about using a ludicrous fiction to distract from their many failings, I’d be happy to hear them.

Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2020, 09:00:11 PM »
Apologies all - just noticed there was already a thread for this. 

Johnny Yesno

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2020, 09:03:11 PM »
CHECK OUT THIS DUNCE

weekender

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2020, 09:07:08 PM »
Let's burn him.  Oh her.  Or -

Actually, i think I'll stop myself there.

Butchers Blind

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2020, 09:09:49 PM »
We can save this... anyone thought of getting an actual penis extension?  You know, making your penis bigger.  Do those creams and stuff work?

Danger Man

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2020, 09:12:45 PM »
28 mile penis?

Penis reduction mate.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

imitationleather

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2020, 09:13:10 PM »
We can save this... anyone thought of getting an actual penis extension?  You know, making your penis bigger.  Do those creams and stuff work?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ3xXHb0rEs

(Not NSFW as it's on YouTube, but it's a non-explicit excerpt from a 1980s penis pump ad so you might not want to watch it where you are I dunno lol.)

weekender

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #7 on: February 09, 2020, 09:17:30 PM »
We can save this

We could, I suppose.

Alternatively we could just type "penis" into YouTube and see what happens.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UVw7cgv36A


Dex Sawash

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #8 on: February 09, 2020, 09:48:54 PM »
We can save this... anyone thought of getting an actual penis extension?  You know, making your penis bigger.  Do those creams and stuff work?

NSFW obviously.


Yeah, anyone used one of these?

I got one today and it's fucking massive, like, seriously.

Me and my gf/fiancee often watch porn and one of her favourite varieties is BBC[1] porn. Which, for the lesser porn viewer, stands for big black cock.
Often containing small women/teens and filmed from sympathetic angles, some of the penises on show appear far larger than the average.

There are a few films where they are crazy big, ludicrously so. However, some actors have been known for using prosthetics and there's a company that makes films under the title of "Freaks of Cock" that specialises in this line of work.

Anyway, we've used toys in our sex life for a long while.
Among the normal stuff, we've got a fairly large vibrator and a vibrating double strap on, where a bit goes in her.
A while back, after seeing that she really enjoyed watching the larger cock porn, I invested in a latex penis extender.
It's just a thin, see-through thing with a little bit of extra girth on the end and adds about an inch in length and half an inch in circumference.
She enjoys this every now and again, sometimes very much so, so I thought, let's expand on that idea and go for something a little nbigger.

So, fast forward to late on Friday night, I was just sorting through my porn collection, updating some things and downloading a few bits and pieces; when I thought, "those freaks of cocks videos, you must be able to buy something like those prosthetics online..."

Sure enough you can.

So, sparing no expense, I went for the whopper.

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21307
BEAST!!!

This thing was delivered by postman today and the box was fairly weighty.
I could feel the thing sliding around on the inside and took it inside to get a better look.

I got my girlfriend upstairs and we opened it together on the bed.
On opening it, I said "Fucking hell!". It was huge, dramatically big. I didn't think "WOW, that is amazingly big", I actually thought, "Ah, fucking hell, what a waste of money, it's TOO big".
I voiced my concerns to my finacee and she said, "Well, we'll give it a try, see how it goes. I think I'll be able to get the head in".

So, we're going to give it a whirl tomorrow night.

Stay tuned!
 1. worth the license fee alone

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #9 on: February 09, 2020, 09:50:32 PM »
Johnson is talking about building his ludicrous bridge over the Irish Sea again, according to the right wing junk press - and no doubt will make Ireland pay for it.
Make us?

Make us?

XD XD XD XD

imitationleather

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #10 on: February 09, 2020, 09:54:53 PM »
Strap in.

We're going to war with Ireland over paying for the bridge, Spain over Gibraltar and anyone who reckons they can fish our fucking waters is going to find a Trident missile shooting right up their jacksie.


Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #11 on: February 09, 2020, 09:59:38 PM »
No problem lemme just call our 26 friends who hate your guts

Ambient Sheep

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #12 on: February 09, 2020, 10:01:58 PM »

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #13 on: February 09, 2020, 10:04:15 PM »
Did you do that deliberately?

Heh I actually didn't. It was one of the top results when I Googled for a Union Jack gif and I didn't even notice.

Let's pretend it was a very clever gag though.

weekender

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #14 on: February 09, 2020, 10:06:22 PM »


This man is worth 497 million fish.

Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #15 on: February 09, 2020, 10:10:21 PM »
How do you manage to have shaved hair that looks greasy?

Ambient Sheep

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #16 on: February 09, 2020, 10:17:32 PM »
Heh I actually didn't. It was one of the top results when I Googled for a Union Jack gif and I didn't even notice.

Let's pretend it was a very clever gag though.

I love the idea that whoever made it might have done it deliberately to troll potential users of it.

Dex Sawash

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #17 on: February 09, 2020, 10:27:46 PM »
I love the idea that whoever made it might have done it deliberately to troll potential users of it.

I've been waiting for it to turn into Large Marge from Pee Wee's Big Adventure or something.

Ambient Sheep

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #18 on: February 09, 2020, 10:29:27 PM »
I've been waiting for it to turn into Large Marge from Pee Wee's Big Adventure or something.

It's upside down; traditionally a sign of incompetencedistress.

Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #19 on: February 10, 2020, 12:27:32 AM »
Make us?

Make us?

XD XD XD XD

He’ll ‘make’ Ireland pay for it in the same way Trump ‘made’ Mexico pay for the wall.  As in he won’t.

Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #20 on: February 10, 2020, 08:02:50 AM »
Heh I actually didn't. It was one of the top results when I Googled for a Union Jack gif and I didn't even notice.

Let's pretend it was a very clever gag though.

I don't get it. Is it upside down. Sorry for thickness (and not in the sense of Dangerman's post)

Ambient Sheep

  • everybody got paid :-)
Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #21 on: February 10, 2020, 08:04:38 AM »
I don't get it. Is it upside down. Sorry for thickness (and not in the sense of Dangerman's post)

It's upside down; traditionally a sign of incompetencedistress.

Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #22 on: February 10, 2020, 08:06:23 AM »
Oops. Missed that completely. Thnx

kittens

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #23 on: February 10, 2020, 08:27:23 AM »
it looks exactly the same upside down as the right way up

Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #24 on: February 10, 2020, 08:30:12 AM »
28 mile penis?

Penis reduction mate.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Liar. Just sounds like a big vibrator to me.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #25 on: February 10, 2020, 08:40:49 AM »
it looks exactly the same upside down as the right way up

They all look exactly the same upside down as the right way up by the time I've finished with 'em.

Endicott

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #26 on: February 10, 2020, 09:46:58 AM »
it looks exactly the same upside down as the right way up

it's the width of the diagonal white parts.

Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #27 on: February 10, 2020, 09:54:53 AM »
The irish red saltire should be lower than the scottish white one on the pole side (which is unarguably the left here)

Because scotland is implicitly more important in the union than ireland

touchingcloth

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #28 on: February 12, 2020, 09:21:49 AM »
Strap in.

We're going to war with Ireland over paying for the bridge, Spain over Gibraltar and anyone who reckons they can fish our fucking waters is going to find a Trident missile shooting right up their jacksie.



Did you do that deliberately?

Heh I actually didn't. It was one of the top results when I Googled for a Union Jack gif and I didn't even notice.

Let's pretend it was a very clever gag though.

What's the joke? An Irish saltire? What. Should have the hand and star from the NI flag.

touchingcloth

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Re: British man to build 28 miles penis extension
« Reply #29 on: February 12, 2020, 09:35:44 AM »
Jesus fuck, I've never noticed the thing is directional before.



I don't know how I'd remember the orientation easily, though. If the red saltire is supposed to be above the white, isn't it identically topmost and leftmost (in the top left, correctly flown hoist on the left version) depending on which bits of blue you're looking at? They both reach the very top left corner.

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