Author Topic: winning the lottery  (Read 5996 times)

Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #30 on: February 10, 2020, 11:14:20 PM »
I am the real lottery, you will win me, a treat for the senses. You've got everything you wanted, but every day I will cry in my gilded cage until you set me free. Bittersweet, but you will become a better person from it, a better lover and a better grandson.


Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #31 on: February 11, 2020, 12:01:37 AM »
MILLION POND ISTANBUL SURGERY FUCK MYSELF UP THE ARSE REST OF MY LIFE

Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #32 on: February 11, 2020, 08:12:02 AM »
I watched the first ever lottery with my mate Tim and his Dad. Tim picked the numbers but the Dad bought the tickets as we were children. The Dad went apeshit and screamed "YOU'VE DONE IT TIM! YOU'VE DONE IT!" thinking he had won the lottery as he got 3 numbers. But one of them was the bonus ball so Tim had not actually done it. He'd also only have won a tenner so I don't think the Dad understood the lottery.

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #33 on: February 11, 2020, 08:52:10 AM »
I once won 30 million pounds on the lottery, but spent it all on chips.

real chips or gaming chips?

Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #34 on: February 11, 2020, 09:11:46 AM »
The RTP (Return To Player) of the lottery is terrible. You're better off doing high-odds accumulators. Pick ten horses to win and put a quid on, that sort of thing.

Was thinking that, only thing is I can't be arsed to sit there and set up a new accy every week, so that's how they get me.

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #35 on: February 11, 2020, 09:13:56 AM »
The RTP (Return To Player) of the lottery is terrible. You're better off doing high-odds accumulators. Pick ten horses to win and put a quid on, that sort of thing.

You can't pick ten winners, surely. If you can, then William Hill is going to be furious when he finds out about this one weird gambling tip this Liverpool mum found.

kittens

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #36 on: February 11, 2020, 09:19:24 AM »
pretty sure I'm going to win the lottery!!!!

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #37 on: February 11, 2020, 09:19:39 AM »
Early days of the lottery my brother and I used to sit there with two A4 sheets of numbers to check, as my parents both belonged to lottery pools at their various works.

My dad was once allowed to pick the numbers and chose the numbers 1 through 6. He was laughed at as thpose numbers will never come up, and encouraged to pick something more random. He relented, but had he stuck to his original numbers he would have won the jackpot £10!

touchingcloth

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #38 on: February 11, 2020, 09:24:37 AM »
My dad was once allowed to pick the numbers and chose the numbers 1 through 6. He was laughed at as thpose numbers will never come up, and encouraged to pick something more random. He relented, but had he stuck to his original numbers he would have won the jackpot £10!

If infinity monkeys chose those numbers infinity times they'd win infinity pounds, or dollars if they were infinity American monkeys.

Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #39 on: February 11, 2020, 09:45:31 AM »
I watched the first ever lottery with my mate Tim and his Dad. Tim picked the numbers but the Dad bought the tickets as we were children. The Dad went apeshit and screamed "YOU'VE DONE IT TIM! YOU'VE DONE IT!" thinking he had won the lottery as he got 3 numbers. But one of them was the bonus ball so Tim had not actually done it. He'd also only have won a tenner so I don't think the Dad understood the lottery.

One of my dad's friends was so convinced he was going to win that first draw that he bought a load of new clothes, booked a cruise for him and his wife and put a deposit down for a new Jag the week before. His wife had totally bought into the delusion too.

Imagine his surprise when he got precisely zero numbers and had to go about the next week grovelling for refunds.

Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #40 on: February 11, 2020, 09:47:16 AM »
Lotteries are a symptom of a sick society and a weak mind. You are mental midgets contributing to the problem if you take part. Buying lottery tickets is directly comparable to paying £1 for a 3% chance to win a tenner. You don't understand maths. But the prize is so big! And to counter that, there are so many poor losers. I genuinely believe they are a scam and should be banned.

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #41 on: February 11, 2020, 10:09:37 AM »
like to see you being all smart while chowing down on the dust from my golden lambo. gotta be in it to win it and i'm in it big time.

Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #42 on: February 11, 2020, 10:13:57 AM »
The boner ball

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #43 on: February 11, 2020, 12:02:35 PM »
Was thinking that, only thing is I can't be arsed to sit there and set up a new accy every week, so that's how they get me.

Fair enough. I like the idea of doing an acca every week; the fantasy of God smiling on you. You pick your ten horses, and the names form a magical code, a secret between you and the creator, and the money cascades gloriously into your lap.

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #44 on: February 11, 2020, 12:05:27 PM »
My dad was once allowed to pick the numbers and chose the numbers 1 through 6. He was laughed at as thpose numbers will never come up, and encouraged to pick something more random. He relented, but had he stuck to his original numbers he would have won the jackpot £10!

1-6 are the worst numbers to pick. Each week thousands of people pick 1-6. If you win big don't expect much of a cut.

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #45 on: February 11, 2020, 12:06:47 PM »
Lotteries are a symptom of a sick society and a weak mind.

A tax on your dreams.

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #46 on: February 11, 2020, 12:15:04 PM »
Lotteries are a symptom of a sick society and a weak mind.

The slogan "You have to say 'innit' to win it" blatantly aimed at the poor working class.

Quote
Buying lottery tickets is directly comparable to paying £1 for a 3% chance to win a tenner. You don't understand maths. But the prize is so big!

Actually it's £2 for a ticket now, so that makes it a 6% chance of getting 3 numbers. Plus you get a £30 prize for 3 numbers these days, not £10, which makes it an 18% chance of winning.

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #47 on: February 11, 2020, 12:16:46 PM »
like to see you being all smart while chowing down on the dust from my golden lambo. gotta be in it to win it and i'm in it big time.

You're VERY optimistic about the reliability of a Lambo...

Ray Travez

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #48 on: February 11, 2020, 12:27:56 PM »
1-6 are the worst numbers to pick. Each week thousands of people pick 1-6. If you win big don't expect much of a cut.

Yeah, there's a science to picking numbers that will give you the biggest rate of return. The most popular numbers each week in the Canadian lottery are surprisingly consistent, according to John Haigh, author of Taking Chances- Winning with Probability[1]. The most popular, in order, are 7 11 3 9 5 27 31 8 17, and the least popular in descending order- 30 46 38 45 20 41 48 39 40. However, the least-picked six numbers (individually) are often chosen as a set because they are unpopular, making that particular combination less profitable. Other combinations to avoid if you want to maximise your winnings are the previous draw's winning numbers, and combinations where the numbers form a sequence, eg 35,36,37,38,39,40.
 1. (Oxford University Press, 2003)

kittens

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #49 on: February 11, 2020, 12:34:27 PM »
You're VERY optimistic about the reliability of a Lambo...

this sounds like a threat. have you been tinkering with my lambo?

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #50 on: February 11, 2020, 05:59:17 PM »
I got five numbers on the Wednesday lottery a few years ago. The prize was in the region of £1200 which me and Mrs TTT blew on a new dishwasher and cooker for her and a spiffing winter coat for myself. The remainder went on a slap up dinner out where I didn't have to stint by choosing the second cheapest bottle of wine on the list.

I remember I had to take the ticket to a post office as largish amounts won are obviously not paid out from your local shopkeepers till. It was paid in the form of a National Lottery branded cheque which caused the bank tellers eyes to light up when I paid it in.

My wife pointed out that had we got one more number we would have been richer to the tune of 1.4 Million though I pointed out that had it been one less we would have gotten £75. 

Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #51 on: February 11, 2020, 06:04:19 PM »
I’d spend it all on birds, booze, fags and fast cars and waste the rest

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #52 on: February 11, 2020, 06:07:06 PM »
gotta be in it to win it

In that case, I won your mum

Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #53 on: February 11, 2020, 06:14:08 PM »
People who say money doesn't buy you happiness should be minced in a machine and recycled into flesh lottery tickets, so people who know that money does actually buy happiness can win and enjoy it.

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #54 on: February 11, 2020, 06:50:29 PM »
Money can't buy you happiness, but poverty can definitely lend you misery for an indefinite period.

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #55 on: February 11, 2020, 07:00:35 PM »
Quote
I genuinely believe they are a scam and should be banned

Countries with gambling bans are pretty unhealthy ones too. The debt is 'managed' by people who don't care too much for due process and ethics.

The lottery is rotten though. Take money from ordinary people and give the vast majority to one person for no reason, some for the lovely lottery organiser and some crumbs for a handful to keep them interested. Then do it every week at least twice.

Urgh.

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #56 on: February 11, 2020, 08:03:53 PM »
The Set For Life top prize is great. £3.6million overall but in £10k chunks so you don't blow it all on a yacht like a massive twat.

Would a bank give you a mortgage on the strength of that? They should, it's more guaranteed than any wages.

The RTP (Return To Player) of the lottery is terrible. You're better off doing high-odds accumulators. Pick ten horses to win and put a quid on, that sort of thing.

Wouldn't a ten horse accumulator be loads worse? The vig* on the lottery is 50%. Now, say it's 15% on a random horse race, wouldn't the overall return on a 10 horse accumlator be 85% of 85% of 85% to the power of 10, making it much worse than the lottery?


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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #57 on: February 11, 2020, 08:05:47 PM »
Quote
Would a bank give you a mortgage on the strength of that? They should, it's more guaranteed than any wages

And if not then just wait 2 or 3 years, or a few more if you want a small London flat, and buy one outright.

Or wait half a year and buy one outright in Darlington (both a joke and technically possible)

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Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #58 on: February 11, 2020, 08:28:07 PM »
this sounds like a threat. have you been tinkering with my lambo?

I've tinkered with all of them.  Just in case/to be sure (delete as appropriate).

Re: winning the lottery
« Reply #59 on: February 11, 2020, 08:36:30 PM »
I've been poor and miserable my whole life. I'd like to give rich and miserable a chance. See what that's like.

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