Author Topic: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.  (Read 1061 times)

Paul Calf

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Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« on: February 11, 2020, 12:33:13 PM »
Not an edgy-as-fuck Burrows rip-off, but a man in a backless gown waiting to have the tip of his knob removed.

But at least I get the drugs.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2020, 12:34:02 PM »
Pics or black the fuck out

Enjoy the recovery

Paul Calf

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2020, 01:01:26 PM »
What I want to know is this: why do I have identity tags on BOTH wrists? Are they worried that they’re going to cut an arm off?

gib

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2020, 01:03:13 PM »
Hope it all goes well for you mate.

Cerys

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2020, 01:16:08 PM »
What I want to know is this: why do I have identity tags on BOTH wrists?

To make restraint easier, should it be necessary.

pancreas

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2020, 01:17:28 PM »
What I want to know is this: why do I have identity tags on BOTH wrists? Are they worried that they’re going to cut an arm off?

If the knob cut turns into a major fissure and there are two bits of you at the end.

Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2020, 01:37:40 PM »
No matter what anyone says, you’ll be no less a man for having it done. God bless.

Mr_Simnock

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2020, 01:43:04 PM »
Not an edgy-as-fuck Burrows rip-off, but a man in a backless gown waiting to have the tip of his knob removed.

But at least I get the drugs.

How are you going to think after that?

Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2020, 02:22:37 PM »
Not an edgy-as-fuck Burrows rip-off, but a man in a backless gown waiting to have the tip of his knob removed.

But at least I get the drugs.

Just remember, even if it all goes wrong and your knob falls off, there are still literally billions of people with penises in the world, so no-one’s going to be too bothered if one or two fall by the wayside.  Hope this puts your mind at rest.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2020, 02:23:52 PM »
Ask them to put it in a jar for you.  And then ask for a sticky tab and pen so you can name it.

What will you name it?

Paul Calf

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2020, 02:53:53 PM »
Cal Amari.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2020, 03:09:06 PM »
ETChop Paul? Live posting during Op?

touchingcloth

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #12 on: February 11, 2020, 03:48:46 PM »
When they're all done, do a joke to them about leaving a tip. Bet they've never heard that one.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #13 on: February 11, 2020, 04:20:45 PM »
Phimotic
Phimotic
Put your hands all over my body

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #14 on: February 11, 2020, 05:21:22 PM »
Make sure they've put an arrow on it so they scalp the correct penis.

Dex Sawash

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shiftwork2

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #16 on: February 11, 2020, 05:57:42 PM »
Q: What's the useless piece of skin on the end of a penis?
A: Paul Calf

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

  • In France we call it le bellend
Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #17 on: February 11, 2020, 07:12:08 PM »
Not posted back for a while. Complications I reckon. Probably dead.

Honestly though, hope it all went well and you're not in too much pain. God bless you and your newly unpeeled bell.

Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #18 on: February 11, 2020, 07:16:15 PM »
Just think you are doing your bit for this forum, as they throw scrap skins into those tinned burgers that feed the members of this board.

Paul Calf

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #19 on: February 11, 2020, 11:30:56 PM »
Well, my painful, sutured knob is keeping me awake but the positive spin is that at least I’ve got a concrete reason to be awake rather than lying here with looping nonsensical puzzles running through my head wondering if I’ve totally lost my swede this time.

Kryton

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #20 on: February 11, 2020, 11:34:03 PM »
Have you tried having a piss yet?

gib

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #21 on: February 11, 2020, 11:37:13 PM »
did you get any more free drugs?

Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #22 on: February 11, 2020, 11:38:30 PM »
did you get any more free drugs?

his pharmacist took them

Paul Calf

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #23 on: February 11, 2020, 11:39:28 PM »
Have you tried having a piss yet?


Yeah. Hurts like a bastard. Have to change the dressing every time because it ends up soaked with piss.

did you get any more free drugs?

No. My wife got a load of codeine phosphate when she went in so I feel somewhat ripped off.

gib

  • weak and wobbly
Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #24 on: February 11, 2020, 11:42:19 PM »
keep saying ow until they share the good drugs

Cerys

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #25 on: February 12, 2020, 01:32:56 AM »
somewhat ripped off.

They didn't use a scalpel?!

Paul Calf

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #26 on: February 12, 2020, 05:41:37 AM »
That made me wince involuntarily:)

BlodwynPig

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #27 on: February 12, 2020, 06:27:07 AM »
Now wank please

touchingcloth

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #28 on: February 12, 2020, 08:36:54 AM »
Yeah. Hurts like a bastard. Have to change the dressing every time because it ends up soaked with piss.

No. My wife got a load of codeine phosphate when she went in so I feel somewhat ripped off.

How long are you an in patient for? When the nursing staff go on their morning bloods rounds ask if you can have some painkillers but say that you’ve had paracetamol and it didn’t take the edge off[1]. With luck they’ll send the pharmacist round to shower you with lovely codeine, or just hand some over themselves if they’ve got the ability. The single good thing about a hospital trip which involved a lumbar puncture was the takeaway stash of drugs.
 1. Unlike the surgery, eh?

BlodwynPig

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Re: Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.
« Reply #29 on: February 12, 2020, 10:08:38 AM »
How long are you an in patient for? When the nursing staff go on their morning bloods rounds ask if you can have some painkillers but say that you’ve had paracetamol and it didn’t take the edge off[1]. With luck they’ll send the pharmacist round to shower you with lovely codeine, or just hand some over themselves if they’ve got the ability. The single good thing about a hospital trip which involved a lumbar puncture was the takeaway stash of drugs.
 1. Unlike the surgery, eh?

fuck opioids

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