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Monday lunchtime, 10mg of barbiturates into the mainline.

Started by Paul Calf, February 11, 2020, 12:33:13 PM

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Paul Calf

Not an edgy-as-fuck Burrows rip-off, but a man in a backless gown waiting to have the tip of his knob removed.

But at least I get the drugs.

BlodwynPig


Paul Calf

What I want to know is this: why do I have identity tags on BOTH wrists? Are they worried that they're going to cut an arm off?


Cerys

Quote from: Paul Calf on February 11, 2020, 01:01:26 PM
What I want to know is this: why do I have identity tags on BOTH wrists?

To make restraint easier, should it be necessary.

pancreas

Quote from: Paul Calf on February 11, 2020, 01:01:26 PM
What I want to know is this: why do I have identity tags on BOTH wrists? Are they worried that they're going to cut an arm off?

If the knob cut turns into a major fissure and there are two bits of you at the end.

No matter what anyone says, you'll be no less a man for having it done. God bless.

Mr_Simnock

Quote from: Paul Calf on February 11, 2020, 12:33:13 PM
Not an edgy-as-fuck Burrows rip-off, but a man in a backless gown waiting to have the tip of his knob removed.

But at least I get the drugs.

How are you going to think after that?

Quote from: Paul Calf on February 11, 2020, 12:33:13 PM
Not an edgy-as-fuck Burrows rip-off, but a man in a backless gown waiting to have the tip of his knob removed.

But at least I get the drugs.

Just remember, even if it all goes wrong and your knob falls off, there are still literally billions of people with penises in the world, so no-one's going to be too bothered if one or two fall by the wayside.  Hope this puts your mind at rest.

Shit Good Nose

Ask them to put it in a jar for you.  And then ask for a sticky tab and pen so you can name it.

What will you name it?

Paul Calf


BlodwynPig


touchingcloth

When they're all done, do a joke to them about leaving a tip. Bet they've never heard that one.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy


Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

Make sure they've put an arrow on it so they scalp the correct penis.


shiftwork2

Q: What's the useless piece of skin on the end of a penis?
A: Paul Calf

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Not posted back for a while. Complications I reckon. Probably dead.

Honestly though, hope it all went well and you're not in too much pain. God bless you and your newly unpeeled bell.

Bazooka

Just think you are doing your bit for this forum, as they throw scrap skins into those tinned burgers that feed the members of this board.

Paul Calf

Well, my painful, sutured knob is keeping me awake but the positive spin is that at least I've got a concrete reason to be awake rather than lying here with looping nonsensical puzzles running through my head wondering if I've totally lost my swede this time.

Kryton




Paul Calf

Quote from: Kryton on February 11, 2020, 11:34:03 PM
Have you tried having a piss yet?


Yeah. Hurts like a bastard. Have to change the dressing every time because it ends up soaked with piss.

Quote from: gib on February 11, 2020, 11:37:13 PM
did you get any more free drugs?

No. My wife got a load of codeine phosphate when she went in so I feel somewhat ripped off.

gib


Cerys


Paul Calf


BlodwynPig


touchingcloth

Quote from: Paul Calf on February 11, 2020, 11:39:28 PM
Yeah. Hurts like a bastard. Have to change the dressing every time because it ends up soaked with piss.

No. My wife got a load of codeine phosphate when she went in so I feel somewhat ripped off.

How long are you an in patient for? When the nursing staff go on their morning bloods rounds ask if you can have some painkillers but say that you've had paracetamol and it didn't take the edge off[nb]Unlike the surgery, eh?[/nb]. With luck they'll send the pharmacist round to shower you with lovely codeine, or just hand some over themselves if they've got the ability. The single good thing about a hospital trip which involved a lumbar puncture was the takeaway stash of drugs.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: touchingcloth on February 12, 2020, 08:36:54 AM
How long are you an in patient for? When the nursing staff go on their morning bloods rounds ask if you can have some painkillers but say that you've had paracetamol and it didn't take the edge off[nb]Unlike the surgery, eh?[/nb]. With luck they'll send the pharmacist round to shower you with lovely codeine, or just hand some over themselves if they've got the ability. The single good thing about a hospital trip which involved a lumbar puncture was the takeaway stash of drugs.

fuck opioids