Author Topic: Would you like Rory Stewart to stay with you? (Read 1103 times)

Cursus · « **on:** February 11, 2020, 12:38:21 PM »

Because now's your chance:

BlodwynPig · « **Reply #1 on:** February 11, 2020, 12:40:18 PM »

Use your imagination you fucking chancer

the · « **Reply #2 on:** February 11, 2020, 12:41:24 PM »

'Nah, I'm gonna need to see your British Gas ID before I let you in mate'

Urinal Cake · « **Reply #3 on:** February 11, 2020, 12:42:03 PM »

Somebody wants Stacey Dooley's gig.

canadagoose · « **Reply #4 on:** February 11, 2020, 12:42:53 PM »

"Simon Hedges liked" gave me a snort.

king_tubby · « **Reply #5 on:** February 11, 2020, 12:43:40 PM »

Butchers Blind · « **Reply #6 on:** February 11, 2020, 12:45:45 PM »

This'll be fine. Can't see this backfiring on him in anyway.

icehaven · « **Reply #7 on:** February 11, 2020, 12:55:55 PM »

Why is he doing this?

Edit, Oh he's running for Mayor.

king_tubby · « **Reply #8 on:** February 11, 2020, 12:58:43 PM »

I assume he's passed a DBS check.

imitationleather · « **Reply #9 on:** February 11, 2020, 01:03:39 PM »

If he's so desperate for poon he should have just put a billboard up like that Manchester guy.

Fambo Number Mive · « **Reply #10 on:** February 11, 2020, 01:16:46 PM »

First time I've missed living in London.

He's assuming I don't have a spare mattress. I'd rather stay with Rory for an evening and enjoy his posh pad. I will bring a box of chocolates, lots of books about the mess the Tories have caused for ordinary people and a farty bum.

dr beat · « **Reply #11 on:** February 11, 2020, 01:20:32 PM »

Just hope for his sake he doesn't have any fans who've got his face tattooed on their chest and drink tea out of laundry liquid dispensers.

Fambo Number Mive · « **Reply #12 on:** February 11, 2020, 01:21:45 PM »

Is that a big brush next to his arm?

steve98 · « **Reply #13 on:** February 11, 2020, 01:26:21 PM »

It's a loaf, a seeded loaf; you can see it's on a bread-board, beside the toaster, and has seeds in it.

He'll get no seedy loafs if he comes to live with me: it's Mothers Pride sliced white or it's do without.

Pinball · « **Reply #14 on:** February 11, 2020, 01:28:13 PM »

Some people will do anything for free broadband.

Shoulders?-Stomach! · « **Reply #15 on:** February 11, 2020, 01:33:24 PM »

Can a London rentslave send a message: 'Fuck off you false half-human' to him? Cheers.

Mr_Simnock · « **Reply #16 on:** February 11, 2020, 01:40:09 PM »

icehaven · « **Reply #17 on:** February 11, 2020, 01:48:41 PM »

This is all a bit reminiscent of those patronising TV shows where some well spoken Western "adventurer" goes out into the unknown wilderness and stays with remote tribes to try and better understand their way of life even though he never really can, cue awkward attempts at assimilation and ultimately their differences being highlighted rather than transcended. He even offers to take a sleeping bag ffs, as if he's going to be camping out in the jungle or something. Does he not get that most normal people would be mortified at the thought of having a guest sleeping in a bag on the couch or floor? Why does he actually need to live with people to understand their problems and difficulties? Does he not believe they're real unless he sees it for himself? Is he going to take some mamba and go on a spirit quest while out there in the wilds of South London?
In short, bellend.

Crabwalk · « **Reply #18 on:** February 11, 2020, 01:51:47 PM »

'Rory Stewart Presents: Fifty Homes, Fifty Wanks.'

icehaven · « **Reply #19 on:** February 11, 2020, 01:56:12 PM »

Haha, his real name is Roderick, so he's Rod Stewart.

Crabwalk · « **Reply #20 on:** February 11, 2020, 02:01:17 PM »

'Wake up Maggie, I think I've got something to say to you. How did the reduction of night bus services on the Penge to Holborn route affect your shift patterns?'

Bobloblawslawbomb · « **Reply #21 on:** February 11, 2020, 02:09:36 PM »

He’s basically stolen the ‘here to hear’ bit from the thick of it.

Dewt · « **Reply #22 on:** February 11, 2020, 02:13:55 PM »

Will he sing his big hit, "Toddler Jane"?

Fambo Number Mive · « **Reply #23 on:** February 11, 2020, 02:14:07 PM »

Thing is, Londoners can tell Stewart as much as they want, it doesn't mean he will change his mind on anything. All he seems to be doing is trying to show he is listening.

chveik · « **Reply #24 on:** February 11, 2020, 02:14:31 PM »

little creep

Crabwalk · « **Reply #25 on:** February 11, 2020, 02:17:28 PM »

If he wants to know what people really think he should do the decent thing and sneak into their attic with an empty glass.

Fambo Number Mive · « **Reply #26 on:** February 11, 2020, 02:17:31 PM »

Quote from: icehaven on February 11, 2020, 01:56:12 PM

Haha, his real name is Roderick, so he's Rod Stewart.

Maggie May (be a lot closer to Rory Stewart politically than he wants people to believe)

Blonds Have More Fun (as Prime Minister when they fool most of the country)

Everything I Own (is more expensive than a pleb like you can afford)

The First cut is the deepest (and I supported all the cuts)

Have I told you lately (about my very Tory voting record: https://www.theyworkforyou.com/mp/24964/rory_stewart/penrith_and_the_border/votes)

My Heart Can't Tell You Know (as I'm a Tory, I don't have one)

Sebastian Cobb · « **Reply #27 on:** February 11, 2020, 02:19:01 PM »

Is this a vague threat? I thought those were banned here.

bgmnts · « **Reply #28 on:** February 11, 2020, 02:19:31 PM »

Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? (God Help You.)

boki · « **Reply #29 on:** February 11, 2020, 02:25:59 PM »

He absolutely does not look like he might dismember you in your sleep. Not in the slightest.

News:

Author Topic: Would you like Rory Stewart to stay with you? (Read 1103 times)