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March 29, 2024, 10:44:44 AM

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Average text adventure

Started by Kryton, February 13, 2020, 12:40:22 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Kryton

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on February 17, 2020, 10:53:19 PM
You're telling me the lad with a flaming stick attacked me, holding a bog full of gasoline, outside a gas station, and the cunt didn't self immolate? I'll be honest - that's what I was relying on.

You have 13 luck! Sonny Jim.

Quote
Knock the branch out his hand into the gasoline and take everyone down with me.

It's a very painful and blurry moment. He ignites with a KABOMPH and flies off in a KERPHUMPH of a noise, blazing and arcing into the sky like a fiery dickhead. He vanishes into the shadows. Nothing but a dim glowing mess. Undoubtedly dead. You gain 5000 XP.

As for YOU.

You're blown sideways in a blaze of flame and agony. A bit of the BOG strikes you on your head. -4 HP all goes black....... Your last memory is getting a bit of old poo on you.









YOU wake up in hospital many moons later.
Your hands and eye hurt. You're hooked up to a life machine, something is bleeping. You're surrounded by people with masks and concerned eyes. A strange man with bad teeth in a mustard coat begins asking you 'WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER?'.


PART 2 SOON. (DEAD SOON)


Ferris

"fiery dickhead" really made me laugh.

Will let plankton drive for a bit now that I've dealt with the Tory.

Kryton

Well done Ferris and Plankton.


Ferris

Quote from: Kryton on February 17, 2020, 11:02:29 PM
You have 13 luck! Sonny Jim.

It's a very painful and blurry moment. He ignites with a KABOMPH and flies off in a KERPHUMPH of a noise, blazing and arcing into the sky like a fiery dickhead. He vanishes into the shadows. Nothing but a dim glowing mess. Undoubtedly dead. You gain 5000 XP.

As for YOU.

You're blown sideways in a blaze of flame and agony. A bit of the BOG strikes you on your head. -4 HP all goes black....... Your last memory is getting a bit of old poo on you.









YOU wake up in hospital many moons later.
Your hands and eye hurt. You're hooked up to a life machine, something is bleeping. You're surrounded by people with masks and concerned eyes. A strange man with bad teeth in a mustard coat begins asking you 'WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER?'.


PART 2 SOON. (DEAD SOON)

Ok well I have no reason to be suspicious so I'm going to tell him I don't remember anything and please can you give me all the info you have ok cheers

Kryton

He tells you you were caught up in a massive explosion at a Tesco petrol station that killed a Tory adviser and some guy who was vaping.
He claims to be a Detective and also tells you 'you've been out for weeks, just lying there pissing the bed'.

As he starts prying, a Nurse tells him to come back later as the patient (you) isn't well, losing an eye in the explosion and taking a knock to the head (toilet) and also getting poo on you.

The Detective tells you he'll be back tomorrow and gives you a wink.

Soon the Nurse leave you alone. You realise that you've probably lost your job since nobody has contacted work.

You're alone in an otherwise empty ward, hooked up to a saline drip.

To the EAST is a window

To the SOUTH is a doorway to a manned reception desk.

PlanktonSideburns

grab change of clothes and medical supplies, do a haircut and ESCAPE EAST like it's the fugitive

Kryton

You can't find any spare clothes, so you're just in a bare bottom gown.

You grab some bandages, an empty syringe and a leaflet about the Corona virus.

There's nothing in the room to cut your hair with, but in your manic state you pull out several clumps.

You approach the window and exit EAST.

You fall two floors downards expecting the concrete but find yourself cushioned by the sagging weight of a now dead man in a mustard coat.

To the North is a motorway.

To the East is a car park.

To the South is a large fence.

Below you is a dead man with a broken neck.

PlanktonSideburns

love it

fashion pants out of bandages and get in that car park!

Kryton

Continued tomorrow (shitty internet/phone typing).
Loving this so far.

PlanktonSideburns

Yea yours is truly the well made text adventure

Looking forward

Kryton

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on February 18, 2020, 10:14:35 PM
love it

fashion pants out of bandages and get in that car park!

You fashion an extremely crude set of 'trousers' and then leg it to the car park.

Strangely it's mostly empty, besides a few none-descript vehicles. However the twinkling of blue lights catches your eyes.

An ambulance! The driver side door is open and a paramedic stands a few feet away texting on her phone, oblivious.

To the South is the car park exit.

To the North is a motorway.

It's getting dark, you feel hungry and it's starting to rain.

You're still dragging a burst saline bag.

gib

investigate ambulance interior

Kryton

Keys are in the ignition!
There's a packet of cheese and onion crisps on the dashboard and half a lion bar next to a full apple (green).

The paramedic hasn't noticed you.

gib


PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: Kryton on February 19, 2020, 03:38:52 PM
Keys are in the ignition!
There's a packet of cheese and onion crisps on the dashboard and half a lion bar next to a full apple (green).

The paramedic hasn't noticed you.

cashback!

drive that thing the hell away!

also, pull over and do a shit when the coast is clear


Kryton

You jump in and drive away, since nobody picked a direction I roll a 2. East.

You hurtle over a small concrete divide and notice the sound of screaming from the back of the ambulance. You crash through a wire mesh fence and end up rolling the damn thing down an embankment, but as luck would have it you manage  to land on the wheels.

The screaming from the back has now stopped.

The ambulance is damaged but operable.

Whilst you figure out what to do next, you pop out for a long constipated shit. It hurts and you lose one constitution point.

To the South lies a bridge over a canal.

To the East lies the town centre. You can hear the distant sound of muffled bass music.




Ferris

Check the back of the ambulance

Kryton

You pry open the doors and find a rather silent paramedic, all knackered.

There's a ton of medical supplies.

Suddenly thunder roars above you and the rain comes down in sheets.

Also you now hear police sirens.


Kryton

This is getting dark. Four deaths so far.
I'll lighten the tone?
You scratch your anus through the bandages. it feels nice.

GentleJoshing

Eat medical supplies and proceed on foot towards bass music

Kryton

You gobble down several scattered pills of all colours and sizes (including a shirt button).

Wisely you abandon the wreckage and slip into the drenched shadows of night, staggering through the streets. Behind you several police cars speed off to your crash site.

You seek out the source of the bass beats.

A night club called Shingles.

A very large pair of bouncers man the doors. You realise you have no money. You're half-blind, drenched to the skin, dressed in bandages, dragging the remains of whatever apparatus you were hooked up to in hospital. And the drugs are beginning to kick in.


gib


Kryton

An empty syringe, a leaflet about the Wuhan virus, an apple (green), a burst bag of crisps, a burst saline bag, some tubes still attached to you. Bandage trousers. Hospital gown.

gib

examine leaflet for clues as to how we did that shit earlier

examine arse bandages for further clues

discard apple (green)

chveik

investigate outside the club

try to find an isolated person (preferably drunk and/or drugged) in order to steal their money and clothes

Bum Flaps

Attempt to persuade nightclub bouncers to allow entry by doing an amusing 'mad' dance.

gib