Your local newspaper's letters page

[JPA]

I liked this, the insane ramblings of a madman:

ONE morning, when I was listening to BBC radio, there was a mention of sick children, so switching on my sympathy mode, I listened intently, only to discover that the item was about six children, mispronounced 'sick.'
Since then, I've heard the BBC radio and television constantly pronouncing 'six' as 'sick' and even 'sixty' as 'sickty.' It must be an instruction they're following, but from whom, and why? Did Her Majesty say it accidentally, so it became Queen's English, or perhaps newcomers are unable to pronounce the letter 'X' so we all have to mispronounce it to level down.

If anybody from the BBC reads this, I'd love to know the reason. How about setting up a society for the preservation of the English language?

Just has to get in the little dig at 'Newcomers' there.

[weekender]

Ah, that's delightful.  These bloody 'newcomers', coming over here, taking our jobs, raping our women etc etc.

[quadraspazzed]

I find it sixening.

[Santa's Boyfriend]

Stephen Fry recently made a wonderful podcast about the idea of preserving the English language, and the inherent absurdity in such a concept.  I'd thoroughly recommend a listen.

Also really got me thinking on how the use of language, particularly the simple naming of things, can be used to inflame or pacify a population without their noticing.

[An tSaoi]

Saw a letter on Teletext the other day where some old codger wrote in about how excited he was that fish fingers would now be available in salmon variety. He said that it showed that fish fingers were moving into the twenty-first century or some guff. At first I thought he was joking but it seems like he was genuinely chuffed at this totally minor development.

[Jemble Fred]

SALMON FISHFINGERS??At last!

_{I don't like salmon though.}

[An tSaoi]

I can find today's reply on the teletext website, but not the original:

Let's hope JF (15/4) your salmon fishfingers are more tasty than the salmon fishcakes I was caught into buying a few weeks ago.

A P, Eastbourne, East Sussex

[Father O`Blivion]

Wonderfully mad letter from today's Sunday Mail.

The complete letter.

When my daughter was wee, she was watching the penguin parade at Edinburgh Zoo when one the birds pecked her foot.
Another time a squirrel ran up and punched her in the Botanic Gardens. She was really upset.
I was reminded when I saw the pictures of the woman screaming in agony as she was getting mauled by a polar bear at the Berlin Zoo.

I really hope it's genuine.

[waste of chops]

Another time a squirrel ran up and punched her in the Botanic Gardens.

Best euphemism ever!

[Desi Rascal]

Saw a letter on Teletext the other day where some old codger wrote in about how excited he was that fish fingers would now be available in salmon variety. He said that it showed that fish fingers were moving into the twenty-first century or some guff. At first I thought he was joking but it seems like he was genuinely chuffed at this totally minor development.

That sounds like a bit of viral marketing to me, a bit like Jaqui smith's husband writing to the press to tell them what a good job she is doing

[An tSaoi]

Never thought of that. Seems possible I suppose.

[The Plaque Goblin]

I heard letters pages mainly consist of messages sent in by political party activists which they've barely rewritten.

[Famous Mortimer]

Mine, the Derbyshire Times, seems like that. The Lib Dems and Labour just snipe at each other using the letters page every week.

[JPA]

More fantastic insanity.

Published Date: 24 April 2009

WHY do men at big conferences, less a sheikh or two, all dress alike?
Maybe the tie is slightly different and, if one cares to peer at ground level, the sock may be of a slightly different hue. Even Mrs Thatcher wore a suit, even if with a skirt.

In Regency times, the men copied the peacock, with clothes of different colours and patterns.

Even the stockings were different, and many wore stilettos. As for their heads, well, we know that men do lose their hair much sooner than women, but they wore lustrous wigs of many curls, patches on their faces and, I suppose, probably make-up. Even in Africa and India, and other hot countries, men dress in Western style and speak English. If it wasn't for the colour of their skin, we wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

So let's have a bit more variety. What is the use of colour television if there is no colour to record. At least footballers are dressed in a different colour for each side.

Come on, representatives, give us something to smile about, even a mop of ginger curls, or fantastic moustaches would help to cheer us up.

[the midnight watch baboon]

I found this to be of interest, seeing as it's from a dead, aviation-obsessed Texan. Who seems to have a worrying amount of knowledge of how East Anglian towns are treating their youngsters.

Published Date: 17 April 2009
By Staff Copy
From: Howard Hughes, Valley Drive, Harrogate.
HOW wonderful it was to see the pleasure, excitement and enjoyment that was brought to hundreds of young people by the installation of a temporary bike/skateboard park set up in Valley Gardens over Easter. Full marks to the Council for this initiative, albeit temporary, that proved so popular and rewarding for so many.

How much more wonderful it would be if our local community could provide such a facility on a permanent basis for our youngsters, as did the good people of Saffron Walden for theirs, for example.

[JPA]

Silence of the person in black

Published Date: 09 September 2009

I WAS on my way home one evening and had to pass some people.
I said excuse me please, and a person draped in black turned to me.

I saw only a pair of deep brown eyes look at me. I walked to my bus stop and those brown eyes watched me until I got on the bus 10 minutes later.

Was that person a man or a woman? No-one would know, they don't speak, so no voice, man or woman! Scary.

Mrs JL.

Luckily the Star readership are on hand to pass comment on the online version of this insidious piece of racism:

Sheffield-born 46,09/09/2009 10:43:52
Get used to it, they're taking over.

[Serge]

When I was growing up in Derby, the local paper had several hardened nutcases writing in on a regular basis, with the usual borderline racist/sexist/etc opinions. Last year, when the BNP membership leaked online, I spotted one of the nutcases was on it.