Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 28, 2024, 12:42:06 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Valentine's Day!!!!!

Started by Danger Man, February 14, 2020, 09:24:05 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Danger Man

I'm doing nothing.

How about you?

Cuellar

I tell you what, I came downstairs this morning and I couldn't open my door!

pancreas

Quote from: Danger Man on February 14, 2020, 09:24:05 AM
I'm doing nothing.

How about you?

Can't believe you've forgotten about our dinner at the Waterside Inn already.


Cloud


Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Most people on here think this day's a load of old bollocks, don't they? I was rather hoping there wouldnae be any threads at all about it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to phone the Samaritans.

Danger Man

I wonder what my wife is doing today.....

poo


Norton Canes

Already had my Valentine's insertion. Can only go downhill from here.

DrGreggles

I'm treating my good lady to a romantic evening of Stewart Lee comedy stylings in Peterborough.

EOLAN

I am hoping that Leicester can come close to their emphatic victory over Southampton when they play Wolves tonight; so I can read plenty of headlines tomorrow with 'Valentine's Day Massacre' in them.

Also taking our dog out for a meal (with my good lady wife accompanying us).

Jodie Comer

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on February 14, 2020, 09:31:17 AM
Most people on here think this day's a load of old bollocks, don't they? I was rather hoping there wouldnae be any threads at all about it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to phone the Samaritans.


Small Man Big Horse

I won't be seeing the new Mrs SMBH today sadly but we're spending the day together tomorrow so that makes up for it. Plus it means when we go for a meal we won't have to pay inflated Valentine's Day prices too (which is what she said, rather than me, but I so can't argue with it).

Pingers

Quote from: Cuellar on February 14, 2020, 09:25:52 AM
I tell you what, I came downstairs this morning and I couldn't open my door!

Yeah, I've piled a load of dead dogs outside it.

Cuellar

And they say romance is dead

touchingcloth

Quote from: Danger Man on February 14, 2020, 09:24:05 AM
I'm doing nothing.

How about you?

I'm in the hospital for a checkup, and because of the nature of the day I'm planning to whip my knob out and ask if he has any cream for it. He's a neurologist[nb]Not the specialism which sounds identical and for which whipping a member out would be more expected. [/nb].

Icehaven

Quote from: touchingcloth on February 14, 2020, 10:09:06 AM
I'm in the hospital for a checkup, and because of the nature of the day I'm planning to whip my knob out and ask if he has any cream for it. He's a neurologist[nb]Not the specialism which sounds identical and for which whipping a member out would be more expected. [/nb].

Knobologist?

touchingcloth

Quote from: icehaven on February 14, 2020, 10:14:12 AM
Knobologist?

That's the one. I was due to see the knobologist, but they said they had run out of magnifying glasses after Paul Calf's visit.

Head Gardener


Butchers Blind

Another wanking and crying thread.

Danger Man

Quote from: touchingcloth on February 14, 2020, 10:18:04 AM
That's the one. I was due to see the knobologist, but they said they had run out of magnifying glasses electron microscopes after Paul Calf's visit.

Neville Chamberlain

I shall be taking my wife out for a meal tonight, after which we shall return home and make love.

Jockice

Quote from: Cuellar on February 14, 2020, 09:25:52 AM
I tell you what, I came downstairs this morning and I couldn't open my door!

I couldn't open my door because of the post. The wooden one that someone's nailed across it!!!!!!!!
I couldn't open my door because of the mail. The chain mail that someone's wrapped around it!!!!!!
I couldn't open my door because of the cards. That's the last time I'm using my house as the stake in a poker game!!!!!!!

Etc.

Beagle 2

I had a short argument about parking permits and a dry peck on the cheek.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Neville Chamberlain on February 14, 2020, 10:33:27 AM
I shall be taking my wife out for a meal tonight, after which we shall return home and make love.

You've changed.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain


Shit Good Nose

Usual valentine's day at chez nose - excuse for a takeaway.  Chinese I think.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: touchingcloth on February 14, 2020, 10:18:04 AM
That's the one. I was due to see the knobologist, but they said they had run out of magnifying glasses after Paul Calf's visit.

Eh, why's that? Did his knob break all the magnifying glasses, or something?

hamfist

Roses are red
I'm in the garage
Harming myself*
Due to my sexless marriage




* I'm not, and it's not funny

Artie Fufkin

Are roses red?
Are violets blue?
I have colour blindness.
Caused by fucking a gnu.

A couple of drinks with Mrs Fufkin then back to ours for a Chinese & Picard.
I will then squash her with my huge bulk as I perform the carnal delights on her.