Author Topic: Valentine's Day!!!!!  (Read 1737 times)

Danger Man

  • The original CABLAD
Valentine's Day!!!!!
« on: February 14, 2020, 09:24:05 AM »
I'm doing nothing.

How about you?

Cuellar

  • Taxes, they'll be lower...son
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2020, 09:25:52 AM »
I tell you what, I came downstairs this morning and I couldn't open my door!

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2020, 09:27:48 AM »
I'm doing nothing.

How about you?

Can't believe you've forgotten about our dinner at the Waterside Inn already.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2020, 09:28:28 AM »
I'm doing nothing.

How about you?

Posh wank.

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2020, 09:29:55 AM »
Beer festival with the lads

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Well ...enjoy your lifetime supply of virginity!
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2020, 09:31:17 AM »
Most people on here think this day's a load of old bollocks, don't they? I was rather hoping there wouldnae be any threads at all about it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to phone the Samaritans.

Danger Man

  • The original CABLAD
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2020, 09:31:43 AM »
I wonder what my wife is doing today.....

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2020, 09:39:15 AM »
flopsie insert

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2020, 09:41:50 AM »
Already had my Valentine's insertion. Can only go downhill from here.

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2020, 09:44:54 AM »
I'm treating my good lady to a romantic evening of Stewart Lee comedy stylings in Peterborough.

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2020, 09:56:20 AM »
I am hoping that Leicester can come close to their emphatic victory over Southampton when they play Wolves tonight; so I can read plenty of headlines tomorrow with 'Valentine's Day Massacre' in them.

Also taking our dog out for a meal (with my good lady wife accompanying us).

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #11 on: February 14, 2020, 09:59:36 AM »
Most people on here think this day's a load of old bollocks, don't they? I was rather hoping there wouldnae be any threads at all about it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to phone the Samaritans.


Small Man Big Horse

  • Member
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  • Writers wanted for comedy website, pls click below
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2020, 10:01:50 AM »
I won't be seeing the new Mrs SMBH today sadly but we're spending the day together tomorrow so that makes up for it. Plus it means when we go for a meal we won't have to pay inflated Valentine's Day prices too (which is what she said, rather than me, but I so can't argue with it).

Pingers

  • Just a twat off the internet
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Get on that!
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2020, 10:05:54 AM »
I tell you what, I came downstairs this morning and I couldn't open my door!

Yeah, I've piled a load of dead dogs outside it.

Cuellar

  • Taxes, they'll be lower...son
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #14 on: February 14, 2020, 10:08:33 AM »
And they say romance is dead

touchingcloth

  • Member
  • **
  • You wanna plack the rick, you ha.
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #15 on: February 14, 2020, 10:09:06 AM »
I'm doing nothing.

How about you?

I’m in the hospital for a checkup, and because of the nature of the day I’m planning to whip my knob out and ask if he has any cream for it. He’s a neurologist[1].
 1. Not the specialism which sounds identical and for which whipping a member out would be more expected.

icehaven

  • Marmalade's reared it's head in every course
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #16 on: February 14, 2020, 10:14:12 AM »
I’m in the hospital for a checkup, and because of the nature of the day I’m planning to whip my knob out and ask if he has any cream for it. He’s a neurologist[1].
 1. Not the specialism which sounds identical and for which whipping a member out would be more expected.

Knobologist?

touchingcloth

  • Member
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  • You wanna plack the rick, you ha.
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #17 on: February 14, 2020, 10:18:04 AM »
Knobologist?

That’s the one. I was due to see the knobologist, but they said they had run out of magnifying glasses after Paul Calf’s visit.

Head Gardener

  • weed specialist
    • Gardening mixes
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #18 on: February 14, 2020, 10:18:25 AM »

Butchers Blind

  • I don't want the undertaker stealing my sins
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #19 on: February 14, 2020, 10:19:31 AM »
Another wanking and crying thread.

Danger Man

  • The original CABLAD
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #20 on: February 14, 2020, 10:33:10 AM »
That’s the one. I was due to see the knobologist, but they said they had run out of magnifying glasses electron microscopes after Paul Calf’s visit.

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #21 on: February 14, 2020, 10:33:27 AM »
I shall be taking my wife out for a meal tonight, after which we shall return home and make love.

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #22 on: February 14, 2020, 10:34:11 AM »
I tell you what, I came downstairs this morning and I couldn't open my door!

I couldn't open my door because of the post. The wooden one that someone's nailed across it!!!!!!!!
I couldn't open my door because of the mail. The chain mail that someone's wrapped around it!!!!!!
I couldn't open my door because of the cards. That's the last time I'm using my house as the stake in a poker game!!!!!!!

Etc.

Beagle 2

  • Silver Member
  • ****
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #23 on: February 14, 2020, 10:40:55 AM »
I had a short argument about parking permits and a dry peck on the cheek.

Small Man Big Horse

  • Member
  • **
  • Writers wanted for comedy website, pls click below
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #24 on: February 14, 2020, 10:44:32 AM »
I shall be taking my wife out for a meal tonight, after which we shall return home and make love.

You've changed.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Well ...enjoy your lifetime supply of virginity!
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #25 on: February 14, 2020, 10:48:29 AM »

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #26 on: February 14, 2020, 10:49:39 AM »
Usual valentine's day at chez nose - excuse for a takeaway.  Chinese I think.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

  • Well ...enjoy your lifetime supply of virginity!
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #27 on: February 14, 2020, 10:50:49 AM »
That’s the one. I was due to see the knobologist, but they said they had run out of magnifying glasses after Paul Calf’s visit.

Eh, why's that? Did his knob break all the magnifying glasses, or something?

hamfist

  • Furry Asscandy
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #28 on: February 14, 2020, 10:58:47 AM »
Roses are red
I'm in the garage
Harming myself*
Due to my sexless marriage




* I'm not, and it's not funny

Artie Fufkin

  • Let Me In, Sparks
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #29 on: February 14, 2020, 11:05:03 AM »
Are roses red?
Are violets blue?
I have colour blindness.
Caused by fucking a gnu.

A couple of drinks with Mrs Fufkin then back to ours for a Chinese & Picard.
I will then squash her with my huge bulk as I perform the carnal delights on her.

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