Author Topic: Valentine's Day!!!!!  (Read 1387 times)

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #30 on: February 14, 2020, 11:18:40 AM »
I wonder what my wife is doing today.....

Me. LOL

OR I'm doing her. FFS - this is not as snappy as i thought it would be.

Seriously though = best wishes.

icehaven

  • Please don't hi five people in Tamworth
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #31 on: February 14, 2020, 11:25:10 AM »
We're going to Spoons, possibly double dating with Mr. H's brother and his girlfriend, which will be delightful as they literally never stop arguing. All these takeaways you're all having sound far more appealing, I might have to fake a fit of the vapours.

Dex Sawash

  • Silver Member
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  • Upph√§ngningspunkterna
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #32 on: February 14, 2020, 11:41:30 AM »

Naan Stop has sent me a 20% off code to use a dinner tonight. Might try the paneer bhurji.

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #33 on: February 14, 2020, 12:43:22 PM »
Roses are red
Violets are blue
This meme is fucking old
Potatoes

Voltan (Man of Steel)

  • 8% English, apparently
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #34 on: February 14, 2020, 12:52:57 PM »
I tell you what, I came downstairs this morning and I couldn't open my door!

https://trustedtraders.which.co.uk/

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #35 on: February 14, 2020, 01:39:05 PM »
Struggle through this Malaysian Laksa Naked Soup, watch some shite on Netflix, possibly some horrible videos on youtube about disappearances and murders and then bed I suppose.

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #36 on: February 14, 2020, 01:56:11 PM »
I tell you what, I came downstairs this morning and I couldn't open my door!
what the fuck are you an idiot


Blue Jam

  • GO LAND CRABS!
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #38 on: February 14, 2020, 02:09:21 PM »
Two mains, two desserts, two drinks for £20 at 'spoons

(I wish)

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #39 on: February 14, 2020, 02:26:59 PM »
In related V-Day news, that fella that put up a billboard of himself looking all cool laying on his side and wearing sunglasses has landed an actual date.  On valentine's day!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-51493282

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #40 on: February 14, 2020, 02:35:26 PM »
In related V-Day news, that fella that put up a billboard of himself looking all cool laying on his side and wearing sunglasses has landed an actual date.  On valentine's day!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-51493282

Quote
"It's just been crazy. I've been offered a role on the Channel 4 show Naked Attraction, which is hilarious."

A "role".

Blue Jam

  • GO LAND CRABS!
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #41 on: February 14, 2020, 02:40:51 PM »
Probably meant a "hole". For his nob, like.

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #42 on: February 14, 2020, 02:42:48 PM »
Or maybe he thinks it's a porn shoot.  Someone ought to tell him what's actually going to happen...

Blue Jam

  • GO LAND CRABS!
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #43 on: February 14, 2020, 02:47:34 PM »
I must confess I have never actually watched Nekkid Attraction and just assumed the contestants stand with their nobs/fannies behind a hole. I know I watch a lot of crap telly but that one's too tawdry even for me.

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #44 on: February 14, 2020, 02:50:43 PM »
I must confess I have never actually watched Nekkid Attraction and just assumed the contestants stand with their nobs/fannies behind a hole. I know I watch a lot of crap telly but that one's too tawdry even for me.

Ignoring EVERYTHING else about it, it's really really really dull.

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #45 on: February 14, 2020, 02:52:15 PM »
"You'll stand next to Anna Richardson and talk about fannies in troubling detail. You'll want to get rid of the fat lass in round one, but you need to wait until later so you can say that you didn't like her sense of humour so you don't look shallow. You'll inevitably pick the fittest one there, but she won't actually fancy you back so the whole thing is a massive waste of your time. 2million people will see your disgusting naked body. You're welcome."

Noonling

  • Fuck does Cuno care?!
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #46 on: February 14, 2020, 03:04:59 PM »
Roses are red
Hearts can be also
I'm saving myself
for Gregory Torso

Blue Jam

  • GO LAND CRABS!
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #47 on: February 14, 2020, 03:06:08 PM »
Blue is for violets
Red is for roses
We're mental and bald
And we've all got phimosis

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Are we human? Or are we toilet
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #48 on: February 14, 2020, 03:10:37 PM »
Only got the missus some card and a cake lol bricking it lads

Any ideas

Blue Jam

  • GO LAND CRABS!
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #49 on: February 14, 2020, 03:11:14 PM »
Ironing board

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #50 on: February 14, 2020, 03:22:56 PM »
Blue is for violets
Red is for roses
We're mental and bald
And we've all got phimosis

Even the women?

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #51 on: February 14, 2020, 03:27:57 PM »
I'm doing nothing.

How about you?

Treated myself to a chicken and mushroom pukka pie.

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #52 on: February 14, 2020, 04:01:48 PM »
Roses are red,
Fish are much wetter,
You give good head,
But your sister is better.

Pingers

  • I can produce 3,500 water voles a year if required
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #53 on: February 14, 2020, 04:02:55 PM »
Treated myself to a chicken and mushroom pukka pie.

You can't fuck a pie! Oh wait, you can.

Artie Fufkin

  • Let Me In, Sparks
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #54 on: February 14, 2020, 04:31:51 PM »
My cock is disgusting
My cock is vile
Still, I'm gonna stick it
Into your pie-hole

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #55 on: February 14, 2020, 04:33:10 PM »
I have it on good authority that kittens just received a valentine's card.

Shameless Custard

  • PAUSE FOR THE JET
    • My RUBBISH
Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #56 on: February 14, 2020, 04:34:37 PM »
I've pulled out just to type this xxx

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #57 on: February 14, 2020, 04:36:55 PM »
You can't fuck a pie! Oh wait, you can.

I'm trying out something new.
The texture of Gregg's pasties got boring after a while.

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #58 on: February 14, 2020, 04:42:27 PM »
Already had my Valentine's insertion.

What state is your arse in now?

Re: Valentine's Day!!!!!
« Reply #59 on: February 14, 2020, 04:45:00 PM »
after which we shall return home and make love.

With each other?

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