Jackson Carlaw elected leader of Scottish Conservatives

[machotrouts]

Succeeds Ruth Davidson with the votes of 4,917 party members. (6,498 people voted in total.)



I can't believe it's physically possible to say this about a person, but: Jim Davidson has let himself go.

[greencalx]

During the election campaign I was called by ICM and asked how satisfied I was with various political leaders. The interviewer got to "Jackson Carlaw" to which I responded "Who's that?" "The leader of the Scottish Conservatives" "OK - I guess you have your answer."

[machotrouts]

I'm very unsatisfied with Jackson Carlaw. He doesn't look like a Jackson Carlaw. I would want and expect a Jackson Carlaw to be some sort of birdlike pointy-faced Bond villain. Jackson Carlaw could be Rami Malek's name in 'No Time to Die'. This man? No.

He absolutely looks like a Scottish Tory, I'll give him that. But he's not a Jackson Carlaw, not one bit.

[Captain Z]

Jackson Carlaw sounds like another one of those alt-right Youtubers that becomes ubiquitous overnight largely due to thousands of people Tweeting that he should be ignored.

[bgmnts]

Sounds very Wild West to me.

The guy in the Quick and the Dead who is a trick shot artist but a fraudster, that kind of snake oil vibe.

[dissolute ocelot]

If the Scottish Tories can't get someone as distinctive as Ruth Davidson there's probably something to be said for picking a leader who's completely unmemorable. He looks exactly like every other gammon-faced middle-aged Scottish man with too much roast beef and money. I bet he enjoys beating salmon to death.

His name sounds like a hillwalker's social media status. That's my submission for the best Jackson Carlaw joke competition.

[pancreas]

Call me racits if you like but that is one mound of gammon.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Jackson Bollock

[Cuellar]

Idea for a tv programme: Jacks On Car Law with Jackson Carlaw - several Jacks discuss the world of automotive law.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Real hair? Y/N

[Blinder Data]

Idea for a tv programme: Jacks On Car Law with Jackson Carlaw - several Jacks discuss the world of automotive law.

Followed by 'Jack Son Carl, Aw', a heartwarming documentary that reunites people called Jack with their sons called Carl. Other prodigal sons are NOT required.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Imagine believing a former car salesman is the one who best represents your interests. Just fucking imagine it.

[greencalx]

Tories have this knack of single-handedly sounding like a firm of solicitors or property managers. Jackson Carlaw. Grant Shapps. Er, the other one.

[easytarget]

Is he the leader of both Scottish Conservatives?

[Clatty McCutcheon]

Succeeds Ruth Davidson with the votes of 4,917 party members. (6,498 people voted in total.)
I can't believe it's physically possible to say this about a person, but: Jim Davidson has let himself go.

The BBC Scotland news programme did that thing today where they took a photo of old Jacko out onto the streets to see if anyone recognised the cunt.  Some guy in Hamilton said just that - "naw, oh er...is it that comedian...Jim Davidson?"

Shocking ignorance.  Imagine describing Jim Davidson as a comedian.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

Idea for a tv programme: Jacks On Car Law with Jackson Carlaw - several Jacks discuss the world of automotive law.

Jacko used to be a used car salesman (in Scotland used car salesmen become leaders of the Tory Party) so he's probably taking notes.

[jamiefairlie]

Is he the leader of both Scottish Conservatives?

No, the other one hates him due to his craven appeasement of the papes/tarriers and is actively plotting to have removed and replaced by Mason RANGERS! FTP! Boyne.

[Sherman Krank]

Tories have this knack of single-handedly sounding like a firm of solicitors or property managers. Jackson Carlaw. Grant Shapps. Er, the other one.

Jacob Rees And Mogg?

was joint head of FirstFord car dealership in the west of Scotland until it was placed into receivership in November 2002. He was also a director of Wylies (Automotive Services) until it went into administration in February 2003

Pure Jonah.


Still congratulations to wee Davy Carlaw for managing to grasp a poison chalice that even the utterly batshit Kirstene Hair didn't want.
I wonder if anyone has checked to see if that woman who stood against him actually exists?

[machotrouts]

His opponent was someone named Michelle Ballantyne. I don't know her. She has fewer Twitter followers than an old Big Brother parody account I used to run. Can't believe I conceded the moral high ground in this thread but there you go.

Hope she had a happy Ballantyne's Day!

edit: Oh no she already made that pun. I'm really coming across terribly in this thread, just a pitiful show.

[Cuellar]

Tories have this knack of single-handedly sounding like a firm of solicitors or property managers. Jackson Carlaw. Grant Shapps. Er, the other one.

Jack & Son: Car Law

[Dex Sawash]

Ain't Ballantyne's day

[Fambo Number Mive]

Carlaw supported remain during the 2016 EU referendum and attacked Boris Johnson. Since the referendum result, he has supported both Brexit and Johnson, including in his role as interim Scottish Conservative leader.

Should be a fun job trying to convince people in Scotland that Johnson actually cares about anywhere outside of the South East. The offensive anti-Scottish poem published in the Spectator while he was editor doesn't look great, for example (Johnson didn't write it himself, as some think). Nor does his comment in 2005 that a Scot should not be the next PM. He gave the West Lothian question as one of his reasons.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

His opponent was someone named Michelle Ballantyne. I don't know her. She has fewer Twitter followers than an old Big Brother parody account I used to run. Can't believe I conceded the moral high ground in this thread but there you go.

Hope she had a happy Ballantyne's Day!

edit: Oh no she already made that pun. I'm really coming across terribly in this thread, just a pitiful show.

I think the only time most people have noticed Ballantyne was when she was Tory social security spokeswoman at Holyrood and said that people on benefits should be limited to 2 kids. And then it turned out that she had 6 kids and had claimed child benefit and tax credits in the past.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=5&ved=2ahUKEwjHg-D8_NPnAhV1ShUIHcfJC3wQFjAEegQICBAB&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.co.uk%2Fnews%2Fav%2Fuk-scotland-scotland-politics-45970837%2Fmichelle-ballantyne-msp-people-on-benefits-cannot-have-as-many-children-as-they-like&usg=AOvVaw1Vtc9lbhtUQHN8Cp1wr97s

[machotrouts]

Ah now let's not get on our high horses. Who among us has not at some point dedicated our life to being a total fucking Tory cunt

[thenoise]

Should be a fun job trying to convince people in Scotland that Johnson actually cares about anywhere outside of the South East. The offensive anti-Scottish poem published in the Spectator while he was editor doesn't look great, for example (Johnson didn't write it himself, as some think). Nor does his comment in 2005 that a Scot should not be the next PM. He gave the West Lothian question as one of his reasons.

Tory voters don't want a government that cares about them. They just want them to hate the same people that they hate.