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Lying on your CV

Started by popcorn, February 14, 2020, 03:15:15 PM

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Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Looper on February 14, 2020, 11:05:01 PM
Experience is way more sort after than a bunch of O levels and wot not. In my trade at least.

Grade D in English Language for this lad.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

If people haven't realised by 30 that getting in and getting ahead is largely about bullshitting and brown-nosing (in non-technical work), there is no hope for you.

Yes picking up and applying essential knowledge along the way is compulsory up to a point. There does seem to be a 'wing it' threshold where senior managers can just wing it, occasionally asking pretty simple questions.

Noonling

Quote from: kittens on February 15, 2020, 08:09:22 AM
my cv is a tissue of lies. in that it is a list of made up jobs written on some bog roll.

I am quite sceptical of this claim for the following reasons:


  • Toilet paper falls apart quite easily - if you handed in a CV at reception or brought one along with you to an interview etc it would most likely fall apart while the person was reading it, if not before.
  • Toilet paper tends to be difficult to write on due to the texture being quite unlike normal paper.
  • Most (all?) places would not accept a handwritten CV, and getting toilet paper through the printer would be exceptionally difficult, if not impossible - see point 1.
  • When was the last time anyone gave a physical CV rather than emailing it across? I admit, it is possible that you wrote it on bog roll and then scanned it in to email across though.
  • Most employers have a specific way they want a CV  - on A4 paper, for example.

kalowski

Quote from: popcorn on February 14, 2020, 03:15:15 PM
Asking for a friend. A genuine actual friend. This is not about me, my CV is honest and I have a nice job. Please do NOT call the police.

A mate of mine is currently midway through the interviewing process for a job he's really excited about. The first interview went well and he's been invited to the next stage - meanwhile they are doing a "background check".

Mate has now realised, having dug up his old certificates, that his GCSEs weren't quite as good as he thought they were. He said he got five As and three Cs on his CV, but actually it was three As, two Bs and a C, or something like that.

I don't know if employers are actually able to check your grades without specifically asking you for certificates (I get mixed results when I google this question). Can they do this? Is it possible he might have to sign something as part of a background check that entitles them to check his grades?

Also, ordinarily I don't think employers would really bother about this thing, but because of the nature of the job - it's a sort of educational training apprenticeship thing - I wonder if it will be a bit more qualification-focused, like applying for uni. Also, because he didn't go to uni, I wonder if his GCSEs carry more weight.

Sorry for the boring thread. Please post your interesting stories about lying on your CVs here. THANKS
Are you applying to be a teacher? You'll need to show your certificates before you start a teacher training course but nothing after that (well, schools will want to see your degree certificate).

popcorn

Quote from: kalowski on February 15, 2020, 09:21:02 AM
Are you applying to be a teacher? You'll need to show your certificates before you start a teacher training course but nothing after that (well, schools will want to see your degree certificate).

It's some sort of programming apprenticeship at a bank, I don't know any more than that. AND IT ENT ME.

The replies have been interesting but perhaps predictably contradictory. Most people think it won't matter but a few people are insisting that people can check these things. And as I said before, ordinarily I wouldn't think they'd care about GCSEs but because this is a specialist apprenticeship thing (I think a lot of applicants might be teenagers and young people) and because mate doesn't have a degree it gives me pause.

kittens

Quote from: Noonling on February 15, 2020, 09:17:12 AM
I am quite sceptical of this claim for the following reasons:


  • Toilet paper falls apart quite easily - if you handed in a CV at reception or brought one along with you to an interview etc it would most likely fall apart while the person was reading it, if not before.
  • Toilet paper tends to be difficult to write on due to the texture being quite unlike normal paper.
  • Most (all?) places would not accept a handwritten CV, and getting toilet paper through the printer would be exceptionally difficult, if not impossible - see point 1.
  • When was the last time anyone gave a physical CV rather than emailing it across? I admit, it is possible that you wrote it on bog roll and then scanned it in to email across though.
  • Most employers have a specific way they want a CV  - on A4 paper, for example.

i never thought i would be accused of being a liar just for posting about my made-up cv of lies. i am constantly astounded by the depths to which the posters of cab will sink.

Beagle 2

I've never lied on my CV but I do put my the years I was at university and what I studied without actually listing what degree I got, because I didn't get a degree, I fucked it off with six months to go. In my last three jobs it's been clear through conversations that my boss hasn't really looked at my application properly and assumed I have a degree.


Quote from: Beagle 2 on February 15, 2020, 11:11:22 AM
I've never lied on my CV but I do put my the years I was at university and what I studied without actually listing what degree I got, because I didn't get a degree, I fucked it off with six months to go. In my last three jobs it's been clear through conversations that my boss hasn't really looked at my application properly and assumed I have a degree.

How did you word that on your CV?

Ferris

Quote from: magval on February 15, 2020, 06:39:00 AM
Yes - we do. You can reorder your certificates. People appointed to teaching positions have lost jobs they've earned at interview over this. I can't stress this enough, don't lie about things that can be checked. Feel free to lie about things that can't. But statistically "true" information, like qualifications and the dates they were obtained, don't fuck about.m

Unless the job is displaying your own GCSEs for public enjoyment, having someone verify the qualifications you get aged 15/16 is madness (especially if you have A levels and a degree/professional qualifications).

If I found out our HR was calling up exam boards to see how people did in high school, I'd assume we had too many HR staff for our own good.

Quote from: Better Midlands on February 15, 2020, 11:44:51 AM
How did you word that on your CV?

"University of XYZ, 2002-2005"

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: popcorn on February 15, 2020, 09:32:55 AM
It's some sort of programming apprenticeship at a bank, I don't know any more than that. AND IT ENT ME.

The replies have been interesting but perhaps predictably contradictory. Most people think it won't matter but a few people are insisting that people can check these things. And as I said before, ordinarily I wouldn't think they'd care about GCSEs but because this is a specialist apprenticeship thing (I think a lot of applicants might be teenagers and young people) and because mate doesn't have a degree it gives me pause.

The last place I worked lost quite a few staff to the two banks with Morgan in their names and Barclays. I'm not sure about the Morgans, but Barclays used a third party company that did several rounds of 'screening' but I think it was more gathering references, googling your name to make sure you've not been a massive racist online and presumably, being a bank doing a credit check as they're well cagey about employing people with debts as they think they might get desperate and do something bent to get themselves out of a hole. You know despite the facts banks are massively bent themselves.

Dex Sawash

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on February 15, 2020, 01:22:37 PM

"University of XYZ, 2002-2005"

I was there 85-89, does it still say KING DEX on the water tower?

magval

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on February 15, 2020, 01:22:37 PM
Unless the job is displaying your own GCSEs for public enjoyment, having someone verify the qualifications you get aged 15/16 is madness (especially if you have A levels and a degree/professional qualifications).

If I found out our HR was calling up exam boards to see how people did in high school, I'd assume we had too many HR staff for our own good.

We don't call the exam boards, the onus is on appointees to produce certification for exams they've stated they have. If you've got a higher qualification we'll not need sight of GCSEs, but if we've asked for something specific (English and Maths between C and A* is most common), and you don't have anything higher, and the advert has specified that it's essential, then aye, fucking show us them.

Lads, don't lie on your CV about something that CAN be checked. Lie about experience from several jobs ago, lie about roles you've had even, but if it's about something that can be proven, don't take the risk.

Captain Poodle Basher

Quote from: magval on February 15, 2020, 02:05:06 PM
We don't call the exam boards, the onus is on appointees to produce certification for exams they've stated they have. If you've got a higher qualification we'll not need sight of GCSEs, but if we've asked for something specific (English and Maths between C and A* is most common), and you don't have anything higher, and the advert has specified that it's essential, then aye, fucking show us them.

Lads, don't lie on your CV about something that CAN be checked. Lie about experience from several jobs ago, lie about roles you've had even, but if it's about something that can be proven, don't take the risk.

An IT company I used to work for had both us permanent staff and a short-term contract side of things. The latter were very hot on chasing up references. I used to sit near the talent acquisition team and listened to fair amount of "So Brian wasn't the managing director and just made the tea you say?" phone conversations.

grassbath

Well I'm applying for something now and deliberately not putting my salary in the 'salary' box for all my previous employment. It's not marked mandatory to be fair but I feel a bit risky and naughty. This is how exciting my life has become.

shiftwork2

Don't lie about anything major, is that an option?  Amused that the conversation has centred around getting caught, rather than finding yourself in a job you can't reasonably do without serious consequences for yourself and others.  With this specific example of GCSEs then that may admittedly be a trifle but I fucking hate this 'blag it' mentality, we're not beholden to 90s Chris Evans.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Yes, though outside of lacking specific technical knowledge which you'll get found out about very soon, most jobs can be learnt through training and while on the job. And this is why employers are so keen on long probation, so they can quickly ditch people who aren't competent.

This whole CV embellishment stems from the high unemployment era where each vacancy was subject to an average of 65 application.

imitationleather

Quote from: shiftwork2 on February 15, 2020, 05:49:51 PM
Don't lie about anything major, is that an option?  Amused that the conversation has centred around getting caught, rather than finding yourself in a job you can't reasonably do without serious consequences for yourself and others.  With this specific example of GCSEs then that may admittedly be a trifle but I fucking hate this 'blag it' mentality, we're not beholden to 90s Chris Evans.

NAAAA MATE I LOVE A SCAM ME