well made text adventure mk3

[PlanktonSideburns]

Right, you're a goblin, your on top of a demolished Halfords in a smoldering pit that smells of burnt swindon

You know this:

It's Wednesday

There's a magical goblet in the back office of Llandeilo civic hall, and if you don't return it to Twm Sion Cati's Cave in Rhandyrmwyn, south Wales by Friday, the world will end horribly

You have

A catapult
An urn
And a
Blue box

What do you do?

ONE COMMAND AT A TIME or a hand grenade appears magically in your loin cloth

[chveik]

open blue box

[PlanktonSideburns]

You open the blue box, and a swirling mist envelopes your head

In flashback, you suddenly remember all the previous text adventures, Swindon, Halfords, double commands, lightning strikes, the lot.

Looks like it's going to be a long couple of days.

You notice a gleaming EBIKE amongst the debris of Halfords, miracously unharmed

Wat now

[Gregory Torso]

> summon Yeti.

[PlanktonSideburns]

You do a magic incantation or dance or something like that, and

PUFFF

a yeti appears

Aright Stuart? Bloody hell, is this swindon? It's fucked isn't it?

You nod gravely

[poo]

Go Llandeilo get goblet

[PlanktonSideburns]

Go Llandeilo get goblet

you begin to walk towards llandeilo.

with your gait, allowing for breaks and sleep, it will take you [78hours] to get to Llandeilo. the goblet is set to destroy the earth at midnight on friday, which is in  [72 hours], which will leave you with [6 hours] to retreive the goblet from llandeilo civic hall [spitting in the goblet will nullify the thermonuclear qualities of the goblet immediatley]

you turn left where the remains of the marks and spencer was and head down the A3102 [west].

you approach [wooton basset]

you notice a [strange man in a long coat] staring at you from wooton basset tennis club

he becons you with a long, sinsiter finger

you are now [72 hours]from the extinciton event, [66 hours] from llandeilo civic hall

what do you do?

[PlanktonSideburns]

[65 hours left]

hes still beckoning

[Gregory Torso]

> ride YETI through CHAINLINK FENCE and devour OLD MAN

[PlanktonSideburns]

you walk the 4 hour round trip to get yeti where you got him from, and eat the mysterious bloke

he pleads something about no wait im on your side i have something important to tell you, but fuck that, eat the bloke

now re-united with the yeti - i should take about [20 hours] to get to llandeilo,

[60 hours] left

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

>fuck yeti

[PlanktonSideburns]

you and the yeti get to the nearest travel lodge (bridgend) and have sex, not for the first or last time

i should take about [10 hours] to get to llandeilo,

[40 hours] left till goblet based cataclysm

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

>continue to llandeilo

[PlanktonSideburns]

you arrive at [llandeilo]

llandeilo jazz festival is happening, and the streets are crammed with jazzists and general pissheads.

a flamenco band is playing in the courtyard of the White Horse pub, and the sun is shining

you have 30 hours left till extincion event

[GentleJoshing]

> dance with yeti

[PlanktonSideburns]

the flamenco band looks like a bit of a sit down job, so you head over to the angel, where a big band are doing some more dancy stuff

as you walk past the bar, the yeti asks 'do you want a pint?'

on the taps theres

GOWER POWER

HAPPY DAYZ CIDER

and

CWRW HAF pale

[GentleJoshing]

> Threaten barman with CATAPULT

[PlanktonSideburns]

'i WILL fuken kill you face in with this catapault you fucking prick!'

barman nods at security who have been put on for the festival, who conviscate your catapault, and lob you in the back of a police van

Yeti was already chatting to an old mate at the end of the bar, and didnt see the kerfuffle

what now?

you have 29 hours left till extincion event

[poo]

> Sleep

[PlanktonSideburns]

You bide your time, and drift off to sleep

You awake In a cell in carmarthen police station

Unknown amount of hours till extinction event

[GentleJoshing]

> loudly claim to be good friends with Llandeilo town councillors. Demand release

[PlanktonSideburns]

your demand is completley hillarious to the guards - they inform you that llandeilo dosent mean SHIT round these parts, Hugh Towns isnt even the current mayor! you may as well of told them you were head of the ramblers association of kidwelli

[poo]

> rub cock on Ammanford

[PlanktonSideburns]

you rub cock on AMMANFORD, and die of every single disease known to man at once

THE END

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

>new game?

[PlanktonSideburns]

ok

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

DO PISS