MASTURBATING MASKED MAN CONFOUNDS CARDIFF COPS

[bgmnts]

I dont know.

[Noonling]

Perhaps nudist beaches should have a wanking area cordoned off with surfboard stuck in the sand.

...God I don't want to get that sand in between my toes.

[Bence Fekete]

Used to live in that area of Cardiff. As students we used to crash through the Conservatives club on top of City Road for last orders then break into our own house on Richmond Rd through the back.

That bridge always had it's dodgy side. Somewhat safe in the day but night you would have to be careful. Not the kind of narrow, elevated, cage-like environment you want to be trying to navigate a sex-pest at any time of the day though in fairness.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Why are we a bit more forgiving of people having sex in public than people who masturbate in public?

'Cos if someone's already getting pumped there's not much risk you're getting pumped. HTH.

[Mister Six]

Which, and this applies to SMBH's post too, was addressed in the first lines of my first reply.

Not sure if either of you were sickened and disgusted. Unnerved and threatened seems to be what you felt.

For someone who comes across in other threads as troubled by a lack of self-esteem, you seem weirdly incapable of questioning yourself when it really matters

[Lord Mandrake]

There was a fully suited gimp wanker a few months ago iirc. If you are wanking at someone, you are assaulting them.

[thenoise]

I'm sickened and disgusted by my own wanking habits, let alone other people's.

[buttgammon]

A few years ago, I was on a heavily delayed flight from Dublin to Liverpool. The bloke next to me had evidently come over to have sex with a couple (he was typing a text saying "lovely meeting and fucking you both"). I was trying to read but saw vigorous movement and quickly realised he was wanking (we were still taxiing before take-off at this point). He kept this up for the whole bumpy journey over the Irish Sea. It was a bloody horrible experience. What do you actually do in a situation like that?

For what it's worth, I just sat there trying to ignore him and desperately hoping he'd stop.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

For someone who comes across in other threads as troubled by a lack of self-esteem, you seem weirdly incapable of questioning yourself when it really matters

Sorry Dad

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A few years ago, I was on a heavily delayed flight from Dublin to Liverpool. The bloke next to me had evidently come over to have sex with a couple (he was typing a text saying "lovely meeting and fucking you both"). I was trying to read but saw vigorous movement and quickly realised he was wanking (we were still taxiing before take-off at this point). He kept this up for the whole bumpy journey over the Irish Sea. It was a bloody horrible experience. What do you actually do in a situation like that?

For what it's worth, I just sat there trying to ignore him and desperately hoping he'd stop.

Report but only after it's easier to land rather than divert the plane back to England. Seriously I'd have reported him. That's bezerk.

[Tony Tony Tony]

A few years ago, I was on a heavily delayed flight from Dublin to Liverpool. The bloke next to me had evidently come over to have sex with a couple (he was typing a text saying "lovely meeting and fucking you both"). I was trying to read but saw vigorous movement and quickly realised he was wanking (we were still taxiing before take-off at this point). He kept this up for the whole bumpy journey over the Irish Sea. It was a bloody horrible experience. What do you actually do in a situation like that?

It was probably hard to ignore if he was using your hand.

[idunnosomename]

i just wanted to make a jolly thread about a welshman wanking in public as if he was some kind of supervillian but it's all just got a bit glum now

[buttgammon]

Report but only after it's easier to land rather than divert the plane back to England. Seriously I'd have reported him. That's bezerk.

I considered this but really didn't want to get held up any more. Also, I was at the window seat.

Just remembered that there was a police officer checking our passports after the baggage carousel area (the only time I've ever seen that) so maybe someone did report him?

[Sebastian Cobb]

A few years ago, I was on a heavily delayed flight from Dublin to Liverpool. The bloke next to me had evidently come over to have sex with a couple (he was typing a text saying "lovely meeting and fucking you both"). I was trying to read but saw vigorous movement and quickly realised he was wanking (we were still taxiing before take-off at this point). He kept this up for the whole bumpy journey over the Irish Sea. It was a bloody horrible experience. What do you actually do in a situation like that?

For what it's worth, I just sat there trying to ignore him and desperately hoping he'd stop.

"can you do me next?"

A mate had the woman next to him skiing the bloke next to her off. He said it was quite distracting.

[Captain Z]

What do you actually do in a situation like that?

I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SHAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE.

[massive bereavement]

"One university student said she felt sickened and disgusted by what she saw."

"Sickened and disgusted". With this type of story you're always expecting a quote along the lines of "I'm used to seeing that sort of thing because my father suffers from dementia and regularly masturbates in front of me" or "I laughed at the size of it" or "I felt quit sorry for him" or "I ran home to my husband as fast as I could because I was absolutely aching for a fuck", you'd never anticipate that somebody would be "Sickened and disgusted" would you. 

[idunnosomename]

im sickened and disgusted by the sight of my own erection

[Lord Mandrake]

What do you actually do in a situation like that?

I'd stand up and loudly exclaim. Ladies and gentlemen, this man is masturbating, stop the plane.

[buttgammon]

I'd stand up and loudly exclaim. Ladies and gentlemen, this man is masturbating, stop the plane.

"You wanker."
"What?"
"You're a wanker - literally."

It did occur to me to either embarrass or confront him but I chickened out. It's a good thing this was a short flight - if it was long haul, I'd have gone berserk (although he'd have been hard pushed to keep it up, admittedly).

[imitationleather]

Not if he'd taken loads of coke in the departure lounge.

We've all been there!

[chveik]

If anything seeing someone doing this is an unwanted reminder to people of how inhibited they are, and produces a sense of shame people try to flip back as disgust or whatever.

bloody hell

[imitationleather]

When I was in hospital with the pneumonia all the other lads on the ward were old boys in various stages of dementia and that. One of them kept taking all his gear off and screaming while writhing about and fiddling with his ancient portion.

If my reaction to that was me being inhibited then I am happy being inhibited.

[gib]

bloody hell

prude

[H-O-W-L]

If anything seeing someone doing this is an unwanted reminder to people of how inhibited they are, and produces a sense of shame people try to flip back as disgust or whatever.

You are a right fucking state.

[Johnny Yesno]

A mate had the woman next to him skiing the bloke next to her off. He said it was quite distracting.

I bet he was quite piste off about it.

[willpurry]

Noseybonk got dementia

Jizzsaw.

[Harry Badger]

Used to live in that area of Cardiff. As students we used to crash through the Conservatives club on top of City Road for last orders then break into our own house on Richmond Rd through the back.

That bridge always had it's dodgy side. Somewhat safe in the day but night you would have to be careful. Not the kind of narrow, elevated, cage-like environment you want to be trying to navigate a sex-pest at any time of the day though in fairness.

No shit. I used to live on Albany Road and would always quicken my step going over that bridge in the dark. While masturbating frenziedly, of course.

Here is my own tale of unsolicited wanking:

I had to go to Hertfordshire to work on a short film a friend was making (a legitimate film, mind). Most of the crew were staying at the director's mum's house and it was a bit packed. There were five of us blokes given airbeds on the floor in the attic. I cannot abide having to sleep like this but decide to bear it and do my best.

Took a Nytol and turned in early. Eventually the other lads come up, it's a all a bit noisy but eventually they go to sleep (snoring a lot, predictably). Still cannot get to sleep - I decide my air bed is the problem so shift my sleeping bag to the cool wooden floor and drift into slumber.

I begin to hear a rhythmic noise from the man I had been sleeping next to (as in about six inches apart). 'Surely he isn't' I thought. The light was very poor but looked over to my neighbour. There was movement - though initially it appeared to be leg-only movement. Perhaps he had an insect bit and was scratching it repeatedly with his foot? I've certainly done that. Restless leg syndrome? That violent? Well....perhaps.

I turned over and attempted to get to sleep. The noise continued and seemed to be becoming more purposeful. I coughed a couple of times. It did not have an effect. I looked over again, and yeah, I could see a hand this time. He was indeed wanking, and not being subtle either. This was real slap-the-balls tossing. I just turned up my headphones and moved further away. Confrontation would do no good at this stage. Strangely, he was the last one out of bed in the morning, a role which usually falls to me.

Apart from that, he was a pretty good bloke. Had to sit squashed up to him on the drive to London... that was perhaps inevitable. And which film crew role do you think would be appropriate for such a dedicated masturbator?

Focus puller, of course.

[Mister Six]

Sorry Dad

I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

I think Shoulders is actually Louis CK (even though I've met him and he definitely isn't)