Cakeage

[confettiinmyhair]

This article introduced a new word into my lexicon 'cakeage'.
https://www.theguardian.com/food/2020/feb/20/its-personally-insulting-17-chefs-on-the-customer-antics-that-most-enrage-them

Do adults bring cakes into restaurants? I thought it was a kids party thing.

[Icehaven]

Yeah my cousin had his 40th party in a restaurant and there was a big cake. The cakeage charge is because it means a lot of people will have cake instead of buying a pudding so it's fair doos.

[Norton Canes]

The correct protocol is to sack off eating dessert at the restaurant altogether and stop off on the way home at Sainsbos.

[momatt]

fixed

The correct protocol is to sack off eating dessert at the restaurant altogether and stop off on the way home at Gravebos.

[thenoise]

Specialist pudding venues are the future, maaaan, fuck ordering desert in the same place as your main. Too many decent gastropubs only have generic bought-in puddings for £6 a pop. Let's move on and have waffles or whatever. Then we can have another row about where to go too yay!

[NoSleep]

The correct protocol is to sack off eating dessert at the restaurant altogether and stop off on the way home at Sainsbos.

They might charge cakeage as well. And other customers might think they can sample your cake.

[Replies From View]

I don't like this idea of cakeage at all.  How are we to know it will definitely stop at cake?

Eg. "Lemsip" applies to blackcurrant parcametamols now.  Names don't limit cake to cake is all I'm saying and this fuck is going to spread, you mark my words.  It'll be cakeage this and further cakeage other things, from one dynasty to the next.


"What do you mean my petrol costs have cakeage applied?!" = you in ten years time, all furious about the seeping cakeage.  Yes, you mark my words.

[riderhood]

Has no-one ever heard of corkage charges

[Replies From View]

Yeah but that's to do with taking a cork away from a party so they need never look at it ever again.  Are you saying that cakeage involves taking cake away from a party and putting it in a bin?

[Dex Sawash]

SHOULDN'T IT BE BOXAGE?

[riderhood]

No. Not unless your drink the wine out of hands and pull out the cork with your teeth.

[Replies From View]

No. Not unless your drink the wine out of hands and pull out the cork with your teeth.

I think you might possibly be mixing up corks and wishbones.

[riderhood]

Well if you've ever taken a cooked chicken into a restaurant and asked them to carve it up, provide plates and cutlery, maybe condiments.. and offer you the wishbone to take home with you, then let me know the name of that place because they won't be in business for long.

[Replies From View]

Well if you've ever taken a cooked chicken into a restaurant and asked them to carve it up, provide plates and cutlery, maybe condiments.. and offer you the wishbone to take home with you, then let me know the name of that place because they won't be in business for long.

You gonna fuck em up riderhood? 

[Gurke and Hare]

Most of those are fair enough, but the one complaining about people looking into the open kitchen's rubbish. The whole point of an open kitchen is that you can see what's going on in there.

[Shit Good Nose]

Always wondered what the "spunkage" charge was whenever I've complained in the past.

[Replies From View]

Most of those are fair enough, but the one complaining about people looking into the open kitchen's rubbish. The whole point of an open kitchen is that you can see what's going on in there.

If it's "open" you aren't really looking "in" anyway.  You're all part of the same space.  That's the entire point.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Chefs are such precious egomaniacs.

"We want people to have a good time. If that involves having a cigarette, it's a free world. But it can mess up the timings in how we run service. You're cooking fish to order, it's got 30 seconds left in the pan, then you're told: 'No, sorry, someone's out having a cigarette.' That's a niggle."

This is daft though. If some smoker wants to go out for a tab they're the ones risking their food coming, when I smoked I'd never expect them to hold things for me and I'd be pretty pissed off as someone else at the table waiting for my food if it was being delayed by some tit smoking outside. Fuck 'em.

[thenoise]

Well if you've ever taken a cooked chicken into a restaurant and asked them to carve it up, provide plates and cutlery, maybe condiments.. and offer you the wishbone to take home with you, then let me know the name of that place because they won't be in business for long.

Did you try and take my Dad to a vegetarian?

[Replies From View]

Did you try and take my Dad to a vegetarian?

Yes and he married her, they sexed and thusly you were birthed.

[Icehaven]

Has no-one ever heard of corkage charges

I had but I didn't know what it actually meant.

Corkage isn't the mark-up on wine in a restaurant, it's the charge to allow you to bring your own wine.

[Inspector Norse]

Most of those are fair enough, but the one complaining about people looking into the open kitchen's rubbish. The whole point of an open kitchen is that you can see what's going on in there.

I get the impression they were complaining more about people sitting staring silently and intensely into the open kitchen, which is probably a bit offputting when you're putting the finishing touches on a Lightly Frothed Emulsion of Spam.

[Chollis]

Maximum cakeage lol! Ledge mate

[dissolute ocelot]

Apparently there are restaurants where cunty fishermen can bring in their own fish and eat it, mainly in places where cunty fishermen congregate, like at the seaside. I hope they keep a big cosh under the counter.

No-show booking restaurant cunts though. I was once on a work thing in a strange town with a guy who travels all the time, and he booked tables at 3 different restaurants, decided which one he wanted to go to, and then didn't bother to cancel the others.

[checkoutgirl]

Do adults bring cakes into restaurants?

Do you really need someone to answer that? I'm guessing they do. And they bring a bib and highchair for themselves too.

And then they go to the cinema to watch a 12 hour marathon of Harry Potter films in a sleeping bag dressed as Gandalph holding a magic wand.

[checkoutgirl]

The correct protocol is to sack off eating dessert at the restaurant altogether and stop off on the way home at Sainsbos.

Sack off my ball sack.

[checkoutgirl]

Specialist pudding venues are the future

Wouldn't they have to charge Starter&Mainage to make a profit?

[checkoutgirl]

Most of those are fair enough, but the one complaining about people looking into the open kitchen's rubbish. The whole point of an open kitchen is that you can see what's going on in there.

He only said he wanted them to smile, not that they were looking in at all. Stop getting Bond wrong.

[checkoutgirl]

Most of those are fair enough, but the one complaining about people looking into the open kitchen's rubbish. The whole point of an open kitchen is that you can see what's going on in there.

The only one that bothers me is the one complaining about mixing and matching food or messing about with food on the plate because they spent so much time preparing in just so. Fuck off. If I want to shove it up my arse that's my pejorative maite. As long as you show up, are polite and pay for everything with no vexatious complaints then that should be enough as a customer.

[checkoutgirl]

I was once on a work thing in a strange town with a guy who travels all the time, and he booked tables at 3 different restaurants, decided which one he wanted to go to, and then didn't bother to cancel the others.

That's why some restaurants now take your credit card details and charge you 200 nicker if you don't show up. Imagine they did it to that cunt of a human being. That would be sweet.