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March 28, 2024, 09:24:39 AM

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low effort H.S. Art thread

Started by Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse, February 21, 2020, 09:27:36 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

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Mouth-staining prank sweets except they contain pieces of the Berlin Wall which get into your bloodstream and make you weirdly keen on segregated compass positions.

Kryton

Fun-size mars bars but they not as fun as you think. If anything they're gloomy sized.

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Rubber-tipped pencils except whenever you try to rub anything out with the rubber end you start hearing Spirited Away being played on Netflix and it gets louder and louder until you are deafened.  And the rubber doesn't even work properly.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

A 70s -era comic like "Cor!!"" or something, emblazoned with the legend " Great Free Gift Inside! ", and the free gift turns out to be the German band Einsturzende Neubaten.

DoesNotFollow

Tennis, but it's Joey from Friends.



Also deaf-mute.

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Onions, except when you slice them they kick you in the bollocks.

petril

A hing except one aspect is different, with hilarious consequences.

trying to pass off a generic gag format as cutting meta humour.

then doing a Stewart Lee face.

to no reaction.

Gregory Torso

Onions, except when you slice them you go deaf.

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Onions, except when you slide a knife into them you are sliding a knife into your own head.

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

Quote from: petrilTanaka on March 20, 2020, 12:38:56 PM
A hing except one aspect is different, with hilarious consequences.

trying to pass off a generic gag format as cutting meta humour.

then doing a Stewart Lee face.

to no reaction.

You.

You understand what this is.

Replies From View

Jason Donavan and he is melting a Rubik's cube between two slices of bread.  I wonder if he will be eating it later!

Kryton

Poirot - But there's a red goblin following him around always criticising him. To a catchy jazz number as his leitmotif.

Kryton

Columbo but every time he returns through a door to ask another question he's violently teleported through time to a previous murder and has to figure it all out again.

Kryton

A man get stuck in a binary loop of shouting IN WE POP! or NOT YOU!. For a year.

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A man is given the nickname Drumbeat Henries, and it causes him great consternation because he doesn't know where it's come from and he has long been paranoid that his pulse might be too loud.

Kryton

Coronavirus lockdown but Theresa May is still in charge and she robot dances her way to the microphone to address a grieving nation.

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Essential Travel Only except everyone is rammed into train carriages drooling in each other's mouths.

Kryton

The Trebor's Mister Soft advert, but he's made from glass and painfully shatters with every step.

Kryton

The Battle of Hastings, but everyone's just stood around doing very little.

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Blue Tack except because of the current situation with everyone needing to self-quarantine, the delivery people are hurriedly shoving gravel into an envelope with a note saying "hope this holds your posters up as desired.... soz gotta rush!!"

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire but everyone has to stand up, including the audience, apart from Chris Tarrant, who reclines on a chaise longue, being fed grapes by a scantily clad woman. He also has, I dunno, a machine gun or something.

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Who Wants To Be A Millionaire except the entire audience refuses to halt coughing.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, except instead of saying " We don't wanna give you that", Chris Tarrant says " Fuck Off, you cunt."

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Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, except Tarrant is sitting in a giant throne of toilet paper that he has been hoarding and everyone else in the studio is audibly groaning that they are desperate to use it.

Also on the news they announce what food is the rarest to get hold of during this crisis, and on that day's episode of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Tarrant is chucklingly scoffing loads of that one thing and constantly tucking it closer to himself so nobody can share it.

Dex Sawash


Ultraman only Hiata keeps the Beta Capsule up his bum and he has to go someplace even more private to take it out to become Ultraman.

Spoon of Ploff


Captain Z

The film Groundhog Day except he doesn't get stuck in a loop.

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Your favourite computer game is Bugaboo the Flea (and the thread would be entirely discussing this fact for a minimum of 40 pages).

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Chuckle Vision, except the theme tune is subliminally going "chuckle chuckle anus, ch-chuckle anus chuckle chuckle anus," and because parent groups don't notice this they immediately start rushing out action figures of the Chuckle Brothers with speech bubbles on the box saying "ANUS ME; ANUS YOU".

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"Take off the boil and bum sharply" and other recipes that include references to bumming.