Hello ladies walking in countryside I am (still) not a rapist!

[Huxleys Babkins]

I think I would probably have run after her, shouting "I'm not a rapist!" to reassure her.

I'd have shouted "I am a rapist and you are correct to run" so as not to offend her by mansplaining.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Maybe you should whistle on your walks like old men do who don't want to be accused of sneaking up on ladies.

[QDRPHNC]

IANAR, but I reckon...

[Danger Man]

I'd have shouted "I am a rapist and you are correct to run" so as not to offend her by mansplaining.

But that is mansplaining!

He should have given her £100 for no reason and kissed her feet while the dog bummed him. That's a proper CaB SimpCuck response.

[Urinal Cake]

What we need are separate lanes for travel. One for men, women,  transgendered, walkers, tai-chi, joggers, cyclists, scooters etc. Just everybody stick to your own lane and you'll be fine.

[poo]

I've spoken before about how I like to go on long rambles across the fields near where I live, all on public footpaths. I only ever see dog walkers, literally no one just 'goes for a walk' these days, apparently. I like to have a crafty smoke now and then, sometimes walking along, sometimes plonked down in a field somewhere. I am tall, wear lots of layers and a bobble hat. I'm often scowling because of some realisation about the universe that has irked me. So pure Crimewatch photo-fit, go on count it against me.

Anyway, today I was in a large and fairly unvisited field on an obscure route on the edge of town. I stop  by a bush to light me up a smoke. When I had finished tussling with the wind bastard I looked up and off in the distance was a lone woman walking a dog. Now, to be fair, the view down the field for her is of me not walking along but instead loitering by a bush. So the lady does a 180 and starts swiftly walking back the way she came. I held back and walked slowly to leave an increasingly bigger gap because I'm a gentleman, not a rapist.

But it's sad, isn't it? It's sad I can't go out without women being scared of me.

PAEDOPHILE HITLER RAPE CUNT

[Butchers Blind]

"In other news tonight, a man has finally been arrested after repeatedly seen spying on women from bushes walking their 'dogs' on unvisited fields.  The local man known locally as 'Twit 2' was seen numerous times wearing many layers and a bobble hat crouching in undergrowth while eying young ladies on their own, walking 'dogs'.  As he was arrested he was heard to say, "I wasn't going to rape them, 100%. Im not rapey. I was going to walk slowly behind them.  Not rape them. Honestly."  More news as we get it".

[Danger Man]

I was once walking in the countryside and Lord Carrington held a gate open for me.

(true)

He then apologized for the Falklands War before raping me.

(not so true)

[poo]

DUNGEON THE PRICK

[Danger Man]

Let's be brutally honest here. Twit 2 does look like a rapist but that's not important. The key thing is that he's obviously watched  Krzysztof Kieslowski's A Short Film About Killing loads of times and wants to be a part of that.

(Does that thing where you put point two fingers at your eyes and then point them at the other person)

[Butchers Blind]

Twit 2, yesterday.

[shiftwork2]

I definitely think that was what he was referencing / aiming at.

Not sure what to suggest other than people should be free to walk where they like without a dog.  People should also be free to turn back if they see Twit 2 approaching across a south Norfolk field (specifically me).  Alright cheers lads

[ollyboro]

My golden rule when trying to reassure a woman - or man - walking in front of me, late at night, is to stop masturbating IMMEDIATELY.  Or at least at the earliest opportunity, without causing alarm to other drivers.

[bgmnts]

If I meet a stranger on a walk out down the river or to town, I stop them in their tracks, look at them and point at the nearest Wrestlemania sign and nod.

[oy vey]

If you're ever in rapey terrain and you're surprised by an approaching woman, simply pretend to do up your zipper and say, "All done for the day. You're free to go about your business."

[gib]

OP has made 6 threads, all asking for help disguising himself as a non rapist, think carefully before you respond.

[popcorn]

I've spoken before about how I like to go on long rambles across the fields near where I live, all on public footpaths. I only ever see dog walkers, literally no one just 'goes for a walk' these days, apparently.

This is interesting to me. I go for lots of walks, especially when I'm with family round them Sussex Downs parts, but as I always do it accompanied by audiobooks or music I'm not sure this counts as Properly Going for a Walk. If I didn't have those things then I wouldn't enjoy the walk half as much. Does it count as Properly Going for a Walk?

[Small Man Big Horse]

Just start shouting out "Fenton! Fenton! Oh Jesus Christ!", etc, and no one will suspect you of being a sex criminal.

[weekender]

Note to self for tomorrow:

-Scourers
-Sponges
-Toilet roll
-Bleach
-Bin bags
























-Maybe sausages

[pancreas]

As it turns out, I know about this case, because a friend of mine operates an 'emotional support drone' company which scouts out your route when you're walking, notes any difficult terrain and does some face recognition on people coming in your direction etc.

He told me a very similar story today. A drone reported back and found a man in the path of one of their clients, who was evidently hiding behind a tree. Their search algorithm flagged it up because, apart from hiding behind a tree, the man was connected to several dog-specific snuff-bestiality sites. (He told me the names of some of these sites, I googled them and was frankly astonished by the membership prices.)

Anyway, my mate called the client and they decided the safety of her labradoodle would be compromised by proceeding, so she legged it.

[weekender]

As it turns out, I know about this case, because a friend of mine operates an 'emotional support drone' company

Fuck it, I quit life.

[kittens]

its almost completely unbelievable isn't it weekender

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

If you're ever in rapey terrain and you're surprised by an approaching woman, simply pretend to do up your zipper and say, "All done for the day

I laughed

[Urinal Cake]

Fuck it, I quit life.

You say that but then you see some Wall-E type motherfucker and they give you a reason to love again.

[Buelligan]

I suppose, if we (many of us) treat rape as a joke and simultaneously (many of us) blame the victims for being too sexily dressed, not careful enough, being in the wrong place.  If our media is full of stories of people innocently walking their dogs or going out for a swift half, only to find themselves violated and quartered in a bin bag, I dare say many people who see themselves as potential victims will tend to shun environments where these things may happen.  Hardly surprising really.  Only thing I can suggest to fix this would be to change the culture.  Dunno.

[BlodwynPig]

The funny thing is that you are a rapist, so I'd say the woman had quite a lucky escape there.

I dont know, Twit 2 seems like he's a sensual lover

[imitationleather]

I'm so stressed out about being mislabelled as a rapist when I'm out walking that I've developed debilitating agoraphobia and just stay indoors watching violent pornography all the time.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I'm so stressed out about being mislabelled as a rapist when I'm out walking that I've developed debilitating agoraphobia and just stay indoors watching violent pornography all the time.

This is the best post. Worthy of Viz.

[Lord Mandrake]

As it turns out, I know about this case, because a friend of mine operates an 'emotional support drone' company which scouts out your route when you're walking, notes any difficult terrain and does some face recognition on people coming in your direction etc.

If I'm out on an innocent rape free walk in the fields and some drone is hovering with intent to recognise my face, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.

[thenoise]

If I'm out on an innocent gun-crime free walk in the fields and some drone is hovering with intent to recognise my face, I rape the bastard. That's my policy.

Firm, but fair.